It’s a fact of life – we all encounter people who are difficult to be around. Often, they’re not even fully aware of the behaviors that make them so challenging.

According to psychology, there are specific patterns these individuals tend to exhibit, which can make interacting with them a real test of patience.

In this article, we’re taking a closer look at these behaviors – eight in total – which people who are notoriously difficult to be around tend to display, often without realizing it.

Understanding these patterns can provide us with the insight needed to navigate these tricky relationships more effectively. 

Let’s get started. 

1) Constant negativity

We all have our off days, but when someone is persistently negative, it can be draining to be around them.

Psychology suggests that individuals who are chronically negative tend to view the world through a pessimistic lens, which colors their interactions and relationships.

This isn’t just about expressing dissatisfaction or venting about bad days – it’s a pervasive mindset that can seep into every conversation and interaction.

When you’re around someone who is constantly negative, it can feel like you’re being sucked into a vortex of negativity. This can be exhausting and can make the person difficult to be around.

It’s also worth noting that often, these individuals may not even realize they’re doing it. They might see themselves as simply being realistic or pragmatic, without realizing how their negativity impacts those around them.

Understanding this pattern can help us approach these individuals with empathy rather than frustration, and even help them see the impact of their behavior.

2) Overbearing Control

Here’s something I’ve personally experienced – people who feel the need to control everything.

I had a friend who always had to call the shots. From choosing the restaurant where we would eat, to deciding which movie we should watch, it was always about what they wanted.

This kind of behavior can be incredibly suffocating. It feels like your opinions and preferences don’t matter, and that can be really hard to deal with.

Psychology attributes this behavior to a deep-seated need for control. Often, these individuals might feel insecure or anxious, and controlling their environment – including the people in it – provides them with a sense of security.

But being on the receiving end of this behavior can be very frustrating. You start feeling like a puppet, and that’s not a healthy dynamic for any relationship.

The worst part? They may not even realize they’re doing it. It’s just their way of managing their world.

3) Frequent Interruptions

Picture this. You’re deep in conversation, sharing a story or expressing an opinion, and then – bam! – you’re interrupted. It’s not just once or twice but a recurring pattern.

People who frequently interrupt others often do so without realizing the negative impact it has on those around them. This behavior can make others feel unheard and undervalued, leading to strained relationships.

Psychology explains that interrupting is often a sign of impatience, lack of respect, or even a desire for dominance in conversation.

In Dale Carnegie’s renowned book “How to Win Friends and Influence People”, he emphasizes the importance of effective listening in building strong relationships. Constant interruptions are a clear breach of this principle, making it difficult for meaningful conversations to take place.

When you notice someone constantly breaking into your sentences, it’s not just an annoying habit – it’s an impediment to effective communication and relationship building.

4) Non-stop Complaining

We all know someone like this. No matter what happens, they always seem to have something to complain about.

Whether it’s the weather, their job, or the traffic on the way to work, these individuals have turned complaining into an art form.

According to psychology, chronic complainers often feel a sense of dissatisfaction with their lives. Their constant complaints are a way of externalizing this dissatisfaction.

However, this incessant negativity can be very difficult to be around. It can create a toxic environment that leaves you feeling drained and downcast.

Often, these individuals don’t realize the toll their complaining takes on those around them. They might see it as simply expressing their feelings or being honest about their experiences.

But understanding this behavior can help us be more patient and empathetic when dealing with chronic complainers – and maybe even help them find more constructive ways to express their feelings.

5) Lack of Empathy

There’s something profoundly disheartening about interacting with someone who lacks empathy.

Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is a cornerstone of human connection. It’s the glue that binds us together and makes us care for each other.

But some people struggle with this. They find it hard to put themselves in others’ shoes or to show understanding when someone else is going through a tough time.

According to psychology, individuals who consistently display a lack of empathy might have difficulty recognizing and processing emotions – their own and those of others.

Dealing with someone who lacks empathy can be deeply frustrating and hurtful. It can feel like you’re talking to a brick wall, your feelings bouncing off without making any impact.

The sad part? Many people who lack empathy don’t realize their deficit. They’re not intentionally being cold or uncaring; they simply struggle to connect on an emotional level.

6) Constant One-upmanship

Ever been in a conversation where someone always has a bigger, better story to share? You mention a great book you’ve read, and they’ve read something more profound. You share your travel experiences, and they’ve been to more exotic places.

This constant one-upmanship can be exhausting. It feels like you’re in a never-ending competition where your experiences and achievements are perpetually overshadowed.

Psychology suggests that individuals engaging in constant one-upmanship often do so out of insecurity. They feel the need to prove their worth and establish their superiority, and they do this by always trying to outdo others.

The irony is that this behavior often pushes people away rather than drawing them closer. It can make interactions feel superficial and competitive, rather than genuine and enriching.

One-upmanship might make these individuals feel better about themselves in the short term, but in the long run, it can damage relationships and make them difficult to be around.

7) Unreliability

We all have moments when we drop the ball. Maybe we forget a meeting, arrive late, or fail to meet a deadline. But when this becomes a pattern, it can be incredibly frustrating for those around us.

People who are consistently unreliable tend to break their promises, forget their commitments, and let others down on a regular basis. This lack of dependability can put a strain on relationships, both personal and professional.

Psychology suggests that chronic unreliability can stem from a variety of factors, including poor time management skills, lack of responsibility, or even underlying issues like Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).

The problem is that these individuals often don’t realize the negative impact of their behavior. They may see themselves as laid back or spontaneous, without considering how their unreliability affects others.

8) Excessive Criticism

Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, people who are excessively critical can be very difficult to be around.

These individuals have a knack for finding faults in everything – from the food they eat to the people they interact with. Nothing ever seems good enough for them.

Psychology suggests that individuals who are overly critical often struggle with their own self-esteem. They project their insecurities onto others, using criticism as a defense mechanism.

This behavior can be extremely destructive. It can erode self-confidence and create a negative environment.

The key here is to remember that their criticism says more about them than it does about you. And understanding that can make it a little easier to cope when you’re on the receiving end of their critique.

Final reflection: It’s all part of the human condition

As we navigate the complexities of human behavior, it’s essential to remember that everyone carries their own set of challenges, insecurities, and fears.

The individuals exhibiting these eight behaviors – the constant negativity, the unreliability, the excessive criticism – are not inherently ‘difficult’ people. Rather, they’re individuals grappling with their own issues, often without realizing how those issues affect others.

Psychological theories suggest that many of these behaviors stem from deeper internal struggles, be it low self-esteem, anxiety, or even neurological conditions.

As Carl Jung once said, “Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness of other people.” Understanding these behaviors isn’t about labeling or distancing ourselves from these individuals but about fostering empathy and kindness in our interactions.

As we continue our journey through life’s myriad relationships, let’s strive to approach each other with understanding, patience, and compassion – after all, we’re all beautifully flawed humans trying to make sense of this shared experience called life.