People who are pleasant to be around usually display these 8 traits (according to psychology)

Lucas Graham by Lucas Graham | September 11, 2024, 12:24 am

There’s something magnetic about people who are enjoyable to be around.

They have a certain charm that draws others in, and it’s not just about their sparkling wit or charismatic personalities.

According to psychology, those pleasant individuals usually exhibit 8 specific traits that make them irresistibly likable.

And guess what? These traits can be learned and honed by anyone.

In this article, we’ll delve into these eight traits that make a person enjoyable to be around. 

1) They are empathetic

Empathy is a trait that tends to make people likable.

Psychology tells us that those who have the ability to understand and share the feelings of others are often more pleasant to be around. It’s about more than just being a good listener.

Empathetic individuals make others feel heard and validated, which can create a sense of connection and trust.

They can sense when someone is upset, even before any words are spoken, and they have an uncanny ability to respond in a way that provides comfort and understanding.

This characteristic allows them to build strong bonds with others. Whether it’s a friend going through a tough time or a colleague dealing with work pressure, their empathetic nature shines through, making them a comforting presence.

So, if you want to be more likable, cultivating empathy is a good place to start.

But remember, it has to be genuine. Feigned empathy can often be detected, and that could backfire.

2) They possess a positive outlook

Anyone who knows me well would probably tell you that I’m an optimist, and they wouldn’t be wrong.

I’ve always found positivity to be infectious.

In my experience, people who maintain a positive outlook tend to be more enjoyable to be around. They have a knack for seeing the silver lining in even the darkest clouds and they radiate this positivity onto others.

I remember a time when I was facing a challenging situation at work. Deadlines were piling up, and it seemed like everything that could go wrong, was going wrong.

Then came along Jake, my colleague, with his ever-positive spirit.

Jake didn’t just tell me that everything was going to be okay. Instead, he acknowledged the problem, and then swiftly shifted focus to potential solutions, highlighting the opportunities that lay within the problem.

His positive perspective was infectious and it significantly lightened the atmosphere.

This is not to say that positive people ignore problems or dismiss negative emotions.

Quite the contrary – they acknowledge them but choose to focus on solutions rather than dwelling on the problems.

These are the kind of people we naturally gravitate towards in times of trouble. So if you’re striving to be more likable, try adopting a more optimistic outlook on life.

3) They show genuine interest in others

In Dale Carnegie’s classic book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People”, he states that the key to getting people interested in you, is to be genuinely interested in them.

People who are pleasant to be around often have a knack for making other people feel special. They:

  • Ask about your day
  • Remember your birthday
  • Show interest in what you’re passionate about

This isn’t just about being polite or making small talk. It’s about showing genuine curiosity and interest in the lives of others. And it’s more powerful than you might think.

Studies have shown that when people feel seen and valued, it can increase their satisfaction with life and reduce feelings of loneliness and isolation.

So, showing genuine interest in others isn’t just a trait of likeable people, it can also contribute to their happiness and well-being.

It’s a win-win situation – you make someone feel good about themselves, and in return, they enjoy being around you. It’s the magic of reciprocal liking at play.

4) They practice active listening

Listening is an art, and those who master it are often the most pleasant to be around.

Active listening involves more than just hearing the words that are being said. It’s about paying attention, showing interest, and responding in a way that shows you’re engaged in the conversation.

People who actively listen don’t just wait for their turn to speak. They:

  • Ask follow-up questions
  • Provide thoughtful responses
  • Make sure the person they’re talking to feels heard and understood

It’s a powerful way to build connection and rapport. When you actively listen to someone, you’re saying, “I value what you have to say. I’m here for you.”

In our fast-paced world where everyone seems to be in a rush, taking the time to truly listen can make a big difference.

So if you want to be more pleasant to be around, try practicing active listening. You might be surprised by how much it enriches your relationships.

5) They are authentic

There’s something truly heartwarming about being around someone who is unapologetically themselves.

Authentic people radiate a sense of self-assuredness that is both comforting and inspiring.

They’re not afraid to show their vulnerabilities, share their passions, or express their emotions. They don’t try to fit into a mold or pretend to be someone they’re not.

Being around such authenticity encourages others to let down their guard and be themselves too. It creates a safe space where people feel accepted for who they are, flaws and all.

When you are true to yourself, you give others the permission to do the same. And in a world where we’re often pressured to conform, this authentic expression can be a breath of fresh air.

So, if you want to be more pleasant to be around, try embracing your true self. It’s not always easy, but it’s one of the most rewarding things you can do – for yourself and for those around you.

6) They have a sense of humor

Laughter truly is the best medicine.

I’ve always been drawn to people who have a good sense of humor. There’s something about a shared laugh that helps forge connections and break down barriers.

I remember a time when I was going through a particularly tough phase. Life felt heavy and I was struggling to keep my spirits up.

That’s when a friend with an incredible sense of humor came to my rescue.

We spent an evening together, reminiscing about old times, exchanging silly jokes, and laughing until our stomachs hurt.

For those few hours, I forgot about my troubles. I felt lighter, happier, and more hopeful.

A good sense of humor doesn’t necessarily mean cracking jokes all the time. It’s about finding joy in the little things, laughing at oneself, and not taking life too seriously.

People who can lighten a heavy atmosphere or bring a smile to someone’s face are often the most pleasant to be around.

So if you’re looking to be more likable, why not add a dash of humor to your interactions?

7) They maintain a positive attitude

Nothing can drain the energy from a room faster than a constant complainer or a chronic pessimist.

On the flip side, people who maintain a positive attitude, even in challenging situations, have the ability to uplift those around them.

These individuals don’t deny the existence of problems.

Instead, they choose to tackle them with a hopeful mindset and an unwavering belief that things will get better. They view setbacks as temporary hurdles and not insurmountable obstacles.

Their optimism is infectious.

It encourages others to adopt a similar perspective and it can turn an otherwise negative situation into an opportunity for growth and learning.

Maintaining a positive attitude is not about ignoring reality or suppressing negative emotions. It’s about choosing to focus on the brighter side of life, even when times are tough.

So, if you’re aiming to be more pleasant to be around, cultivating a positive attitude could be a great start. After all, positivity attracts positivity.

8) They are respectful

At the heart of every pleasant interaction lies a foundation of respect.

People who are enjoyable to be around understand the importance of treating others with dignity and consideration.

They value differences, listen without interrupting, and never belittle or dismiss others’ feelings or experiences.

Respect isn’t just about manners. It’s about acknowledging the inherent worth in every person and treating them accordingly. It’s about understanding that everyone has a unique perspective and a personal journey that deserves to be honored.

And the best part?

Respect is reciprocal. When you treat people with respect, they are more likely to reciprocate, leading to healthier, happier interactions.

So if there’s one thing you take away from this list, let it be this: respect is not just a trait of likable people, but also a cornerstone of any meaningful relationship.

Final thoughts: It’s all about connection

There is one thing that ties us all together – the desire for connection. And the traits that make people pleasant to be around, as we’ve discussed, are all about fostering that connection.

Whether it’s empathy, authenticity, a positive attitude or respect, these traits help create deeper bonds with those around us. They make our interactions richer and more meaningful.

So as we navigate through life’s ups and downs, let’s strive to cultivate these traits within ourselves.

Because at the end of the day, it’s not just about being pleasant to be around. It’s about creating connections that enrich our lives and the lives of those around us.