Ever met someone who seemed really pleasant at first but as you got to know them better you realized they were deceitful underneath? It’s like they have an ulterior motive for everything, you just never know where you stand with them. 

If you’ve ever encountered one of these characters, you already know it’s probably best just to steer clear of them altogether. But that’s often easier said than done. 

When you meet someone who seems nice on the surface, it’s not easy to tell that they’re sneaky underneath. Usually, you find out the hard way, after you’ve been fooled by them. 

The thing is: there are certain signs you can look out for that’ll let you know even though they’re being nice on the outside, they’re bad news underneath. I’ve dealt with my fair share of deceitful people so I’ve learned what to watch out for. 

Stick around while I share 7 specific behaviors that people who are pleasant on the surface but deceitful underneath usually display. Hopefully, it’ll help you to avoid these nasty characters in the future.

1) They ask a few too many questions

One of the first signs that someone is sneaky and deceitful is when they ask just a few too many questions. It’s one thing to show interest in you and ask follow-up questions but sneaky people go way beyond that. They want to know all the gory details.

It’s like they’re on a fact-finding mission. They want to get as much information as possible from you. They’ll even overstep normal social boundaries and ask inappropriate questions. They know when they have all the information, it’ll be easier for them to find a way to trick you later. 

I knew someone who wanted a raise that he hadn’t earned. He made others uncomfortable by asking their salaries and pushing them when they didn’t want to answer. He was pretending it was about fairness, but really, he just wanted to ensure he got the biggest raise possible. 

It doesn’t matter if it has to do with your personal life or something that’s going on at work, people who are nice on the outside and dishonest underneath, will go out of their way to ask a lot of questions, that go way beyond being friendly.  

2) They love gossip 

We’ve all indulged in gossip at some point, haven’t we? It’s not something to be proud of, but nobody’s perfect, so we’ve probably all been there.

It’s one thing to get sucked into gossiping in a moment of weakness and it’s a whole other story when someone is in the habit of gossiping. It’s not only mean-spirited but it’s also super deceitful. 

Think about it: on the surface, this person seems friendly, sociable, and generally pleasant. It’d be easy to let your guard down and start trusting them, right? But they’ve got a secret agenda, they’re only being nice to get people to open up and share information. 

And if they’re gossiping with you, you can be sure they’ll also gossip about you. 

Later they’ll use the information to manipulate others and work things to their advantage. This is pretty sneaky and deceitful behavior. When someone loves gossip, it’s a telling sign that even though they seem nice on the outside, they might be hiding their deceitful nature underneath. 

3) They’re overly familiar too quickly

Have you ever met someone who acts like they know you really well, even though you just met them? 

It’s been five minutes and they’re already calling you by your nickname or worse still, they’ve given you a new nickname. They don’t seem to understand the concept of personal space, they’re hugging you and just getting too close for comfort at this stage.  

Being overly familiar like this is sometimes a tactic sneaky people use to disarm you and get you to trust them. Research finds hugging makes us feel bonded and nicknames give us a sense of acceptance and belonging. They know these things make you more trusting of them. 

If you know someone like that then be careful, it’s a common behavior of someone who seems nice but is actually quite deceitful. 

4) They take credit for other people’s work

Deceitful people aren’t concerned with right and wrong. They generally lack integrity and they’ll do whatever they need to do to benefit themselves. 

One of the things I’ve noticed dishonest people do is claim someone else’s work as their own. Most people want to give credit to the right person but these individuals will happily claim someone else’s work or efforts as their own if it’ll make them look good. 

A few years back, a girl I worked with did this right in front of me. In a senior meeting, she shared an idea that the CEO loved. The company implemented her suggestion and she even got a promotion because of it. 

But here’s the kicker: I heard a junior guy share that idea with her the day before. He only took it to her because he felt like she was nice and approachable. She discouraged him from sharing it with senior leadership. And then blatantly claimed it as her own. I couldn’t believe it. 

Claiming someone else’s work or ideas and being okay with misleading and even hurting others to get ahead is typical behavior for someone who seems nice but is anything but underneath it all. 

5) They pry into others’ business but keep their own private

The funny thing about these charming tricksters is they’re friendly and approachable when they’re prying for personal information about you, but when it’s the other way around, they’re not so keen to share things about themselves. 

It’s one rule for you and another one for them. Once you start asking them overly invasive questions they clam up, get defensive, or make passive-aggressive comments like “Gosh, that’s a very personal question, even my doctor wouldn’t ask that.”

Turns out: they do know where the line is when it comes to appropriate questions, they just don’t care. When they want information about you, they’ll overstep boundaries to get it. The fact that they’re not willing to share their business shows just how sneaky and deceptive they really are. 

6) They always have a sob story

Watch out for someone who always has a sob story to make others feel sorry for them. Playing the victim like this is a classic behavior of someone manipulative and deceitful. 

If someone starts to see through what they’re doing and questions them they’ll turn to some sob story about how they’re the victim. They know that playing with people’s emotions like this will make them feel guilty for saying anything and they’ll probably back off. 

This is exactly what the deceitful person wants. When no one is questioning them they can play the role of the nice pleasant friend or colleague but continue to trick and deceive people behind it all. 

Don’t be fooled by a sob story and if you hear lots of them from the same person, recognize that it’s a pattern and a red flag that they’re not as pleasant as they make out. 

7) They act the innocent and blame others 

When the sob story doesn’t work, they’ve got another tactic up their sleeve. They’ll act innocent and blame others instead of accepting responsibility. 

Dishonest people don’t like getting caught out and when they do, they point-blank refuse to admit it or apologize. Instead, they’ll act like they’re totally innocent and even pretend to be offended that you’d accuse them of such a thing. 

Then they’ll simply pass the blame to someone else. It might sound something like this “It wasn’t my intention to hurt you, I didn’t know you’d be so sensitive about it. If you’d told me, I never would’ve shared it with other people.”

When someone acts completely innocent when they’re found out and puts the blame back on you or someone else over and over again, you can bet your last dollar they’re a deceitful person who is being fake nice to cover up their cruel intentions. 

Final thoughts

Getting caught up with someone who is truly deceitful puts you in a tricky situation. They’ve got the power to cause you a lot of hurt and they don’t care how they make others feel. 

If you notice a few of these signs in someone and you’re worried they might be a deceitful person, the best thing you can do is walk away and create some distance before you get hurt.