It’s undeniable that everyone has encountered people who seem to challenge everything a person says, just for the sake of disagreement.

While it might seem like they’re simply playing devil’s advocate, people who are overly contrarian and argumentative often exhibit certain traits—often without even realizing it.

These subtle behaviors can reveal much more than just a difference of opinion.

In this article, I’ll discuss the eight traits typically displayed by overly contrarian and argumentative people—often without them even knowing it:

1) They love to play devil’s advocate

Sure, playing devil’s advocate can be a useful tool in discussions; it helps to challenge assumptions and can lead to a more nuanced understanding of an issue.

But people who are overly contrarian and argumentative often take this role too far. They seem to find a perverse pleasure in contradicting others, regardless of the topic at hand.

Rather than attempting to understand the other person’s perspective, they’re more interested in winning the debate.

They’ll nitpick every little detail, finding loopholes and inconsistencies in the other person’s argument.

While they might believe they’re just being intellectually rigorous, it can come across as needlessly confrontational and dismissive.

After all, not every conversation needs to be a battle of wits!

2) They struggle to accept other people’s point of view

I remember a friend of mine who fits this bill perfectly, let’s call him John.

John is incredibly intelligent and well-informed, but he has a hard time accepting when someone else has a valid point.

We could be discussing anything, from movies to politics, and John would always find a way to disagree. Even if he didn’t have a strong opinion about the topic, he’d argue against whatever position I took.

I recall one instance where we were discussing climate change. Despite the overwhelming consensus among scientists that human activity is causing global warming, John insisted that the science was still “up for debate.”

It was clear that he was less interested in the truth of the matter and more interested in proving me wrong.

Over time, it became exhausting to talk to him; conversations felt like competitions, and it seemed like he was more interested in winning an argument than understanding a different perspective.

3) They’re often very competitive

Overly contrarian and argumentative people often have an intense competitive streak.

This competitiveness isn’t limited to traditional areas like sports or work, but extends to their conversations and interactions as well.

A study published in the National Institutes of Health found that individuals who exhibit argumentative behavior tend to be more competitive, have higher levels of aggression, and are less interested in cooperative strategies.

This competitive nature can make them difficult to deal with, as they often see conversations as a zero-sum game—they win if they can ‘defeat’ any person’s argument, regardless of the topic or context.

4) They enjoy the thrill of debate

Arguing for the sake of arguing is a common trait among those who are overly contrarian.

They get a kick out of the back-and-forth, the mental gymnastics, and the challenge of defending a position.

It’s not necessarily about the topic at hand; it could be about the color of the sky or the best brand of coffee—the content doesn’t matter as much as the process of debate itself.

To them, arguing isn’t a means to an end, but an end in itself.

It’s a source of entertainment and intellectual stimulation, which can be both fascinating and frustrating for those on the other side of the argument.

5) They struggle with empathy

At the heart of most successful conversations is empathy—the ability to understand and share the feelings of others.

Unfortunately, this is a trait that many overly contrarian and argumentative people struggle with.

Instead of listening to understand and acknowledging the emotions and experiences of others, they listen to refute and focus on dismantling their arguments.

This lack of empathy can make their interactions feel cold and mechanical, more like a debate tournament than a genuine conversation.

While they might not realize it, this approach can alienate others and create unnecessary conflict.

A little empathy can go a long way in creating meaningful and respectful conversations.

6) They’re often insecure

This might sound surprising, but behind the confident facade of many argumentative individuals, there often lies a layer of insecurity.

I’ve seen this firsthand; in my younger years, I was quite argumentative myself. I would pick debates with friends and classmates, always trying to prove that I was the smartest person in the room.

It took me a while to realize that my argumentative nature was a shield I used to protect my insecurities.

By constantly challenging others, I was trying to prove my worth, to myself and others.

But over time, I learned that true confidence comes from accepting oneself flaws and all—not from winning arguments.

7) They have a need to be right

Closely linked with insecurity is the need to be right—overly argumentative people often equate being right with self-worth.

They view each conversation as a battlefield where they must emerge victorious.

They will defend their viewpoint relentlessly, even when presented with clear evidence that contradicts their stance.

This stubborn insistence on being right can make it very difficult to have a constructive conversation with them.

It’s not about understanding or learning for them, but about proving their point, even at the cost of relationships.

8) They lack self-awareness

Arguably the most significant trait of overly contrarian and argumentative individuals is a lack of self-awareness.

They often don’t realize the impact their behavior has on others, or even that they’re being argumentative in the first place.

They might believe they’re simply engaging in healthy debate or playing devil’s advocate, unaware that their constant need to challenge can come across as disrespectful or combative.

Without this recognition, changing their behavior becomes difficult.

After all, a person can’t change what they don’t acknowledge.

Final thought: It’s all about understanding

When we encounter people who are overly contrarian and argumentative, it can be easy to become frustrated or defensive.

But understanding the roots of their behavior can help us approach these interactions with more patience and empathy.

Indeed, a study published in the National Institutes of Health underscores the importance of understanding these individuals; it suggests that argumentative behavior often stems from deeper psychological traits—competitiveness, insecurity, a lack of empathy.

Recognizing these traits in ourselves and others is key to healthier communication; it helps us navigate tough conversations with respect and understanding.

Next time you encounter a persistent debater, remember: they may be struggling, and your understanding could turn an argument into a meaningful discussion!