I’ve always thought of mistakes as those inevitable potholes on the road of life—annoying, yes, but impossible to avoid entirely.

Yet, it’s funny how we sometimes react to them.

Instead of just learning and moving on, we can find ourselves in this frantic dance of overcompensation, as if we’re trying to erase the past by doing the absolute most in the present.

Trust me, I’ve been there.

From obsessing over perfecting the tiniest detail to making too many apologies for one little slip-up, I’ve seen how these behaviors can sneak in and make us feel like we’re constantly one step behind.

So, if you’ve ever found yourself going overboard to make up for something you’d rather forget, stick around. Here are nine ways people tend to overcompensate for their past mistakes. 

1) Overdoing apologies

We’ve all been there – that moment when a simple “sorry” doesn’t quite seem enough.

For those overcompensating for past mistakes, apologies often become a constant in their interactions.

It’s like they’re trying to wipe out their past blunders with an avalanche of “I’m sorrys”.

This constant apologizing can be a clear sign of overcompensation. It’s an attempt to make amends, yes, but it can also be a sign of lingering guilt and self-reproach.

The trouble is, over-apologizing can actually undermine the sincerity of the sentiment. After all, if you’re always saying sorry, it can start to lose its meaning.

Everyone makes mistakes – the trick is learning to move on from them in a healthy way.

2) Seeking perfection in everything

I remember a time when I messed up a presentation at work. I was so embarrassed and felt like I’d let everyone down.

To make up for it, I started working longer hours, obsessing over every little detail in my projects, and striving for absolute perfection.

At first, it seemed like a good way to show my commitment and make up for my past mistake.

But before long, I realized this pursuit of perfection was taking a toll on my mental health and personal life.

This is a classic behavior of overcompensation. We’re so afraid of repeating past mistakes that we try to be perfect in all we do.

But perfection is an impossible standard and constantly chasing it can lead to stress and burnout.

The key is to realize that it’s okay to make mistakes. It’s how we learn and grow. Instead of striving for perfection, aim for progress and continuous improvement. It’s healthier and a lot more achievable.

3) Avoiding similar situations

Did you know that elephants are known to avoid areas where they’ve previously experienced trauma?

Humans often display a similar pattern. After making a mistake, especially a painful one, we tend to avoid similar situations or circumstances.

It’s a protective mechanism rooted in our survival instincts. We associate that situation with negative outcomes and steer clear of it in the future to prevent a repeat of the same mistake.

While this can sometimes be beneficial, it can also hold us back. By avoiding similar situations, we miss out on opportunities to learn, grow and potentially succeed.

Instead of avoidance, confronting these situations with the lessons learned from past mistakes can be a better strategy for personal growth.

4) Overly critical of others

If you’ve ever noticed someone being overly critical of others, especially for mistakes similar to their own past blunders, they might be overcompensating.

This is often a subconscious attempt to distance themselves from their own past errors.

By harshly criticizing others for the same mistakes, they are trying to reassure themselves that they’ve moved past that behavior.

However, this approach tends to push people away rather than build healthier relationships or improve their own self-image.

It’s far more productive to show empathy and understanding, acknowledging that everyone has their own journey and makes mistakes along the way.

5) Excessive generosity

Have you ever noticed someone going out of their way to be overly generous, to the point where it almost feels forced?

This could be a sign they’re overcompensating for past mistakes.

They might shower others with gifts, favors, or acts of service, often going beyond what’s expected or needed.

It’s like they’re trying to balance out their past wrongs with an excess of good deeds.

While generosity is generally a positive trait, when it’s excessive and unbalanced, it can come across as insincere or even manipulative.

The key is to find a healthy balance, where acts of kindness come from a genuine place and not from a place of guilt or regret.

6) Constant self-deprecation

It’s heartbreaking to see someone constantly put themselves down, especially when it’s a result of past mistakes. Self-deprecation is often a sign of overcompensation.

They might make jokes at their own expense or always be the first to point out their flaws.

It’s as if by highlighting their faults before anyone else can, they’re protecting themselves from further criticism.

However, this behavior can contribute to low self-esteem and a negative self-image.

7) Overanalyzing every decision

After a particularly bad mistake I made, I found myself agonizing over every decision, no matter how small.

I would overthink every choice, weighing the pros and cons excessively, and worrying about all possible outcomes.

This is another sign of overcompensation. It stems from the fear of making another mistake.

It’s like you’re trying to predict and control the future to prevent any potential missteps.

However, this kind of overanalysis can lead to decision paralysis and unnecessary stress.

Mistakes are part of life. While it’s good to think things through, it’s also vital to trust your instincts and accept that not everything can be controlled or predicted.

8) Being overly defensive

If you’ve ever encountered someone who’s extremely defensive to feedback or criticism, they might be overcompensating for past mistakes.

They might interpret constructive criticism as a personal attack, becoming defensive even when there’s no need.

It’s like they’re on guard, ready to protect themselves from blame or judgement.

However, being overly defensive can prevent personal growth and strain relationships.

Instead, learning to accept feedback gracefully and using it as a tool for self-improvement can lead to personal growth and stronger connections with others.

9) Fear of taking risks

The fear of making another mistake can often lead to a reluctance to take risks.

Those overcompensating might stick to what’s safe and familiar, avoiding any situation that involves uncertainty or the potential for failure.

But life is full of risks and uncertainty. And sometimes, it’s the risk that leads to the greatest reward.

Every mistake is an opportunity for growth. Don’t let fear hold you back from stepping out of your comfort zone and reaching for your goals.

Final reflection

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my own missteps and overzealous attempts to make up for them, it’s that growth doesn’t mean perfection.

Mistakes happen, but that doesn’t mean we need to spend our lives overcorrecting like a bad GPS reroute.

Sometimes, the bravest thing we can do is forgive ourselves, let the past be the past, and give ourselves permission to move forward—imperfectly and unapologetically.

So, the next time you catch yourself overthinking an apology or playing it safe to avoid making waves, keep in mind: you’re allowed to mess up, you’re allowed to take risks, and you’re allowed to give yourself a break.

The road ahead doesn’t need to be flawless—it just needs to be yours.

And that’s the kind of grace that keeps us growing, one beautifully imperfect step at a time.