People who are nice to your face but mean behind your back usually display these 9 subtle behaviors

Tina Fey by Tina Fey | August 9, 2024, 7:22 pm

As individuals, it’s crucial that we feel appreciated, supported, and treated with honesty.

This doesn’t always happen, especially when dealing with two-faced people. These individuals will act friendly to your face but can be harsh and critical behind your back.

Two-faced behavior is a form of emotional manipulation that can cause feelings of confusion, betrayal, and self-doubt.

This deceptive conduct can be challenging to detect, as these individuals often come across as charming and sincere initially. But over time, their subtle actions can reveal their true nature.

Get ready to dive in.

1) Inconsistent behavior

These individuals often display a different personality when you’re around compared to when you’re not.

You might notice they’re incredibly sweet and friendly to your face, always offering compliments or assistance. However, they could be the first ones to criticize or belittle you behind your back.

Sometimes, they might drop subtle hints about their true feelings in your presence. For example, they may sarcastically compliment you or make passive-aggressive remarks that leave you feeling uncomfortable.

2) Excessive flattery

They might compliment your every move, decision, or idea, making you feel important and valued in their presence.

However, this excessive flattery can be a tactic to manipulate your perception of them. Behind your back, they could be spreading negativities or undermining your achievements.

3) Overly competitive

You may notice that individuals who are nice to your face but mean behind your back are often extremely competitive, even in situations that don’t call for it.

It might seem strange, as they may be the first to congratulate you on your successes. They’ll appear genuinely happy for you, always cheering you on.

However, their competitive nature isn’t about winning games or being the best at work. Instead, it’s about being better than you specifically. In their minds, your success is their failure.

4) Lack of empathy

People who are nice to your face but mean behind your back often lack genuine empathy, and it’s one of the most painful truths to accept.

They might seem caring and attentive when you’re together, always ready with a sympathetic ear or comforting words. But their empathy is surface-level, only extended when it benefits them or when others are watching.

Behind your back, they might dismiss your feelings or experiences. Your struggles may become the topic of their gossip, or they might downplay your emotions, making them seem trivial or unimportant.

5) Difficulty in sharing success

This isn’t because they are inherently bad people, but it may come from their own feelings of insecurity or inadequacy.

They might be the first to congratulate you, smiling and celebrating with you. However, behind your back, they may struggle with feelings of jealousy or resentment.

These feelings can cause them to downplay your achievements or spread negative comments. It’s important to remember that this behavior is more about them and their internal struggles than it is about you.

6) Love for gossip

We’ve all been drawn into a gossip session at some point, haven’t we? 

They might always appear eager to share the latest news or drama with you, making it seem like they’re just trying to keep you in the loop. But if they’re always in the middle of every story, it could be a sign that they enjoy spreading information, true or not.

Behind your back, they might be the first ones to share your secrets or spread rumors about you. It’s this love for gossip that gives them an avenue to be mean when you’re not around while maintaining a friendly facade when you are.

7) Master of excuses

Have you ever known someone who always seems to have a perfectly crafted excuse for every situation? 

They might always have a reason for not being able to meet your expectations or fulfill their commitments to you. Their excuses can range from the believable (a sudden cold) to the downright absurd (a dog ate their car keys).

While it can be frustrating, it’s also somewhat amusing. After all, you’ve got to give them credit for their creativity!

8) Avoidance of responsibility

People who are nice to your face but mean behind your back have a knack for avoiding responsibility, and frankly, it’s something that shouldn’t be tolerated.

They may be quick to promise you the world when you’re together, only to conveniently forget or backpedal when it’s time to fulfill those promises. They might even twist the narrative to make it seem like you misunderstood their intentions.

9) Trust your gut

The most important thing to remember when dealing with people who are nice to your face but mean behind your back is: to trust your gut.

Your intuition is a powerful tool and often picks up on subtle cues that your conscious mind might miss. If something feels off or you feel uneasy around someone, chances are, there’s a reason for it.

Final thoughts

Having one or more of these traits doesn’t necessarily make someone two-faced. But if these behaviors are recurring, it’s worth reflecting on whether this relationship is beneficial for your emotional health.

In the end, the most important thing is your well-being. Trust your instincts, stand up for yourself, and surround yourself with people who genuinely respect and value you.

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