No one plans to be miserable and lonely in their 70s, but for some people, it just happens.

The truth is, the habits and behaviors we develop earlier in life can shape our future happiness—sometimes without us even realizing it.

Some people unknowingly push others away or make choices that leave them feeling isolated later on. The good news? Once you recognize these behaviors, you can change them before it’s too late.

Here are eight common habits of people who end up lonely and unhappy in their later years.

1) They stop making an effort with friends

It’s easy to assume that friendships will always be there, but the truth is, relationships need effort to survive.

People who end up lonely in their 70s often stop reaching out to friends, assuming that if someone wants to talk, they’ll call first. Over time, this mindset leads to fewer invitations, fewer conversations, and eventually, isolation.

Friendships don’t fade overnight—it happens slowly, one missed call or ignored message at a time. And by the time some people realize it, they’re already alone.

The happiest people in their later years are the ones who continue making an effort, even when life gets busy or circumstances change.

2) They hold grudges for too long

I used to know someone who ended up completely alone in their 70s, and it wasn’t because people didn’t care—it was because they pushed everyone away.

They held on to every little argument, every disagreement, and every perceived slight like it was a personal attack. Family members tried to reconnect, old friends reached out, but they always found a reason to stay angry.

At first, people kept trying. But after years of cold shoulders and resentment, they eventually gave up. By the time this person realized what had happened, there was no one left to call.

I learned an important lesson from that: holding grudges may feel justified in the moment, but in the long run, it only leads to loneliness. The happiest people I know are the ones who forgive and move on.

3) They don’t try new things

As people get older, it’s easy to fall into routines and stick with what’s familiar. But those who refuse to try new things often find themselves feeling isolated and disconnected from the world around them.

Studies have shown that learning new skills and engaging in novel experiences can actually help keep the brain sharp and improve emotional well-being. Yet, some people resist change, avoiding anything outside of their comfort zone.

Over time, this can lead to a shrinking social circle and fewer opportunities to connect with others. The happiest people in their later years are the ones who stay curious, embrace new experiences, and continue growing—no matter their age.

4) They focus too much on the past

There’s nothing wrong with reminiscing about good memories, but some people get stuck in the past and struggle to move forward.

They talk endlessly about “the good old days” while dismissing the present as disappointing or uninteresting. Instead of embracing new opportunities and relationships, they compare everything to how things used to be—and usually, nothing measures up.

Over time, this mindset pushes people away. Friends and family may grow tired of conversations that always circle back to the past, making it harder to form meaningful connections in the present.

The happiest people in their later years appreciate the past but stay engaged in the here and now, finding joy in what life still has to offer.

5) They stop expressing gratitude

Life isn’t always easy, and as people get older, they face their share of losses—friends, health, opportunities. But those who stop appreciating what they still have often find themselves feeling empty and alone.

Gratitude has a quiet power. It strengthens relationships, brings people closer, and reminds us that even in difficult times, there is still something to be thankful for. When someone focuses only on what’s missing or what’s gone, they risk pushing away the very people who would bring them comfort.

The happiest people in their later years make a habit of saying “thank you,” of noticing small kindnesses, of cherishing the moments they have rather than mourning the ones they’ve lost. Gratitude doesn’t erase hardships, but it does make life feel fuller—and it keeps loneliness at bay.

6) They avoid asking for help

Some people would rather struggle in silence than admit they need help. They don’t want to be a burden, or maybe they’re too proud to reach out. But over time, this habit creates distance between them and the people who care about them.

No one can go through life completely alone. Refusing to ask for support—whether it’s emotional, physical, or just a simple favor—slowly builds walls instead of bridges. Others may assume they don’t want company, don’t need assistance, or simply prefer to be left alone.

In reality, most people are happy to help when given the chance. The happiest people in their later years are the ones who let others in, who accept kindness without guilt, and who understand that asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a way to stay connected.

7) They stop making plans

As people get older, they sometimes wait for others to reach out instead of taking the initiative themselves. They assume that if someone wants to see them, they’ll make the first move. But when both sides think this way, the invitations stop coming, and loneliness sets in.

Making plans—whether it’s a simple coffee meet-up or a bigger gathering—keeps relationships alive. It gives people something to look forward to and reminds friends and family that they are valued.

The happiest people in their later years don’t sit back and wait for connection to happen. They take the lead, reach out first, and make sure they stay involved in the lives of the people who matter most.

8) They stop being kind to themselves

It’s easy to be hard on yourself as the years go by—to dwell on regrets, criticize your appearance, or feel like you’re no longer as important as you once were. But this kind of self-talk slowly chips away at happiness.

People who are miserable in their later years often speak to themselves in ways they would never speak to a friend. They hold onto mistakes, judge themselves harshly, and convince themselves that their best days are behind them.

But the truth is, how you treat yourself shapes how you experience life. The people who age with joy and connection are the ones who offer themselves the same kindness, patience, and compassion that they give to others.