Narcissism, in its more subtle forms, isn’t always easy to spot. In fact, people who are low-key narcissistic might seem just a bit too self-assured or self-focused.

But dig a little deeper and certain patterns begin to emerge. These patterns can be subtle, but once you know what to look for, they’re hard to miss.

In this article, we’ll be delving into 9 telltale behaviors that often point towards low-key narcissism. Keep reading if you suspect you might have a closet narcissist in your life.

1) Grandiose sense of self-importance

Narcissism is often associated with a bloated sense of self-worth, and this trait can manifest itself even in those who don’t seem overtly narcissistic.

Low-key narcissists might not strut around bragging about their accomplishments. Instead, their inflated self-view could reveal itself more subtly.

They might constantly steer conversations back to themselves or their experiences. Or they might display an unwarranted belief in their own abilities, even when evidence suggests otherwise.

A healthy degree of self-confidence is normal. But when someone’s self-perception consistently outstrips reality, you might be dealing with a low-key narcissist.

2) Lack of empathy

They often struggle to understand or share the feelings of others and this can manifest in various ways.

Take, for example, a personal experience I had with an old friend. He always seemed a bit self-centered but it was only when we faced a crisis that his lack of empathy truly came to light.

When I lost my job, instead of offering support or understanding, he immediately made the conversation about himself and his own career achievements. It felt like he couldn’t grasp the severity of the situation or how it made me feel.

In retrospect, this lack of empathy was a clear sign of his latent narcissism.

3) Frequent name-dropping

They may continuously reference high-profile people they know, or even those they’ve had the briefest interaction with, to elevate their own status.

Surprisingly, a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that name-dropping, while intended to make the name-dropper seem important and well-connected, actually leads to negative perceptions.

This includes being seen as less likable and less competent.

So if you notice someone frequently bringing up their “connections” in conversation, it could be a sign of underlying narcissism.

4) Constant need for admiration

Narcissists yearn for admiration, and this craving doesn’t vanish even in low-key narcissists. They may not openly demand praise, but they’ll always find ways to get it.

This could manifest in subtle fishing for compliments, or consistently steering conversations towards their achievements.

They might also get easily upset or offended when they don’t receive the recognition they feel they deserve.

5) Exploitative behavior

They often use people as stepping stones to get what they want, without any regard for the feelings or wellbeing of those they exploit.

This could manifest in someone frequently taking advantage of others’ kindness or generosity. They might ask for favors frequently but seldom return them, or they might use others’ skills or resources without giving due credit.

6) Difficulty handling criticism

We all know how tough it can be to receive criticism, even when it’s constructive. But for low-key narcissists, it’s an entirely different ballgame.

They may take even the slightest critique as a personal attack. This is because any suggestion that they’re less than perfect clashes with their inflated sense of self-worth.

I’ve seen friendships strain and even crumble because one person couldn’t handle the slightest hint of criticism. It’s heartbreaking, especially when the critique comes from a place of genuine concern and desire to help.

7) Difficulty maintaining long-term relationships

They may have a history of short-term friendships or romantic relationships that ended badly.

This hit close to home when I realized a dear friend of mine fit this pattern. Our friendship was intense but short-lived. Once the initial thrill wore off, she started to show signs of narcissism and eventually, our relationship ended in a painful fallout.

It’s crucial to remember that establishing and maintaining healthy relationships often requires empathy and mutual respect.

8) Excessive need for control

They may insist on making all the decisions, even those that should be mutual, in an effort to maintain dominance.

This desire for control can extend to various aspects of their life, from personal relationships to professional settings. They might struggle with delegating tasks at work, or they may insist on deciding everything in a relationship, from what to eat for dinner to where to go on vacation.

9) Sense of entitlement

Perhaps the most pervasive sign of low-key narcissism is a profound sense of entitlement. Narcissists often believe that they are inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment.

This can manifest in many ways. They may frequently cut in line, ignore rules that everyone else follows, or expect others to bend over backward for them without reciprocating the effort.

It’s a fundamental characteristic of this personality disorder that can cause significant strain and discomfort for those around them.

Final thoughts: A call for empathy

Understanding human behavior, especially when it comes to complex personality traits like narcissism, is a journey filled with both intrigue and empathy.

Though these patterns of behavior might be frustrating to deal with, it’s essential to remember that narcissism is often a result of deep-seated insecurities and fears.

Recognizing these patterns is the first step. But it’s equally important to approach those who exhibit these traits with compassion and understanding.

After all, empathy – the very trait that narcissists often lack – is what distinguishes us as caring humans. It’s a reminder that beneath surface behaviors, we are all complex beings navigating our personal struggles.

So the next time you encounter someone displaying these patterns, pause, reflect, and choose empathy over judgment.