People who are lonely in life but won’t admit it often display these 7 subtle behaviors

Avatar by Brendan Brown | June 28, 2024, 9:12 am

Loneliness is a peculiar beast.

It can creep up on you when you least expect it. It can sit with you in crowded rooms and fill you with an overwhelming sense of isolation amidst the laughter.

But admitting to feeling lonely? Now that’s a whole different ball game.

You see, most people aren’t comfortable with acknowledging their loneliness. It’s almost like a secret they keep locked away, hidden behind forced smiles and casual ‘I’m fine’ responses.

Yet, as much as they try to hide it, there are subtle signs that betray their true feelings. Let’s delve into these 7 behaviors that often go unnoticed.

Remember, understanding these signs could be the first step to reaching out and making a difference. 

1. They overcompensate with social media

Have you ever noticed how some people appear to live a picture-perfect life on social media? A constant stream of smiling selfies, check-ins at popular restaurants, and posts about their ‘amazing’ life experiences?

Don’t let this fool you.

While it’s natural to share our lives online, an over-reliance on social media can often be a mask for loneliness. It’s their way of feeling connected, of feeling seen and acknowledged.

But behind the screen, it’s a different story. The likes and comments are a temporary fix, a fleeting moment of validation that does little to fill the void of real, meaningful human interaction.

Remember, social media can be deceiving. It’s the highlight reel, not the full feature film. So look beyond the posts and check-ins. Reach out. Sometimes, a simple “How are you really doing?” can make all the difference.

2. They often seem busy

This one hits close to home.

I had a friend named John who was always “busy”. Every time I asked him to hang out, he’d be swamped with work or have some other commitment.

But here’s the thing.

John was using his busyness as a shield. It was his way of avoiding the emptiness that came with being alone. He filled every waking moment with tasks and chores, leaving no room for loneliness to seep in.

But it’s a double-edged sword. Because while being busy can distract you from the pangs of loneliness, it also isolates you further from potential social connections.

So if you have a friend like John, don’t be discouraged by their constant state of busyness. Keep inviting them, keep reaching out. It might take time, but your persistence could be the lifeline they never knew they needed.

3. They have a tendency to overthink

Let me tell you about a time when I found myself caught in the whirlwind of overthinking.

It was during my college years. I was living away from home, and although I had roommates and classmates around, there was this lingering feeling of loneliness that I couldn’t shake off.

I’d find myself over-analyzing every conversation, every interaction. “Did I say something wrong? Why didn’t they laugh at my joke? Do they not like me?” These questions would swirl around in my head, feeding my loneliness.

Now, here’s what I’ve learned.

Overthinking is a common trait among those who feel lonely. It’s like a defense mechanism – they scrutinize every detail, trying to find clues to why they feel isolated.

But the irony is, this overthinking often leads them to withdraw further, creating a vicious cycle of loneliness and self-doubt.

4. They become masters of self-reliance

People feeling lonely often develop an uncanny knack for self-reliance. They’d rather shoulder their burdens alone than share them with others.

At first glance, this might seem admirable. A symbol of strength and independence, right?

But dig a little deeper and you’ll find that this self-reliance often stems from a fear of rejection or being a burden to others.

It’s like they’ve built these walls around themselves, believing that it’s safer to rely on no one but themselves. But in doing so, they inadvertently isolate themselves further.

So if you notice someone always insisting they’re “fine” or refusing help even when they clearly need it, it might be their way of masking their loneliness.

5. They might struggle with sleep

Here’s something you might not know. Studies have shown a correlation between loneliness and sleep disorders. It might seem odd but stick with me here.

Have you ever had trouble falling asleep because your mind just won’t stop racing? Or perhaps you find yourself waking up at odd hours, feeling restless?

For those grappling with loneliness, these sleepless nights can be a common occurrence. It’s like their mind is on overdrive, replaying past conversations, dwelling on feelings of isolation or just yearning for connection.

And it’s not just about the number of hours slept. The quality of sleep matters too. Even after a full night’s sleep, they might wake up feeling just as tired, both physically and emotionally.

So if you notice someone constantly looking tired or complaining about their sleep, it could be a subtle sign of their loneliness

6. They often engage in aimless activities

I remember a time when I found myself binge-watching TV shows for hours on end. It wasn’t because I was particularly interested in them, but rather it was a way to distract myself from the silence that came with being alone.

This is something many lonely people do. They fill their time with aimless activities – binge-watching, mindlessly scrolling through social media, or even overeating. It’s not about enjoyment, but more about avoiding the discomfort of their loneliness.

But these distractions are just that – temporary. They don’t address the root cause of their loneliness or fill the void they’re trying to escape from.

7. They might be overly negative

Loneliness can sometimes color our perspective, making the world seem a lot grimmer than it actually is.

Those battling loneliness might often dwell on the negative. They might constantly talk down their achievements, focus on their failures, or have a generally pessimistic outlook on life.

This isn’t because they’re inherently negative people. It’s more about their loneliness clouding their judgment and skewing their perception of reality.

So if you notice someone constantly stuck in a cycle of negativity, it could be their silent cry for help.

Remind them of their worth and let them know they’re not alone. Sometimes, a few words of encouragement can go a long way in brightening someone’s world.

Final thoughts

If you’ve found yourself nodding along to these signs, it’s okay.

Loneliness is a universal human experience. It doesn’t define you. But recognizing it is the first step towards overcoming it.

And if these signs remind you of someone you know, reach out.

A simple act of kindness, a genuine ‘how are you?’ or just being there can go a long way in making them feel seen and understood.