Do you ever get the feeling that your partner might be struggling with jealousy? Or do you think you might have some of these feelings yourself?

Jealousy is normal, and at times it can be healthy. However, too much can taint the happiness of a relationship as the insecurity grows. 

So how can we tell if someone is showing jealousy in a relationship? There are a few statements that can give us clues as to if your partner is feeling insecure. Let’s have a look at some of them.

1) “Why were you talking to them for so long?”

If you’ve heard this before, then its likely that you’ve just met someone whom you’ve gotten on well with. Unfortunately to some people, this can come across as flirting. Whether you were or not. 

Sometimes just giving attention to someone else can create a jealous response from a partner. Insecure people often need constant validation, and therefore want their partner’s attention all the time.

Often, if the person you have been talking to has something that makes your partner feel inferior, they will say these things. 

A way to combat this can be to invite them into the conversation, mention their partner if they have one, or that they prefer the opposite sex to you. (This is more of a last resort, but it has helped me in the past). 

2) “I saw you liked their picture on social media”

This one always feels so stalky, right? It’s not always, because sometimes we’re just scrolling aimlessly and seeing someone we know has liked a post. 

Liking someone’s post is usually extremely harmless; we often do it without thinking. But a partner who feels jealous will often overthink things and make mountains out of molehills. 

What do we do about these things apart from not liking anyone’s pictures or staying off social media? Which is not the solution to the problem.

Sometimes these insecurities stem from trust issues due to something that has happened in a previous relationship. 

If you’re not secretive with your phone or devices and are open about who you are friends with, then your partner will begin to trust you more and more. You’ll just fuel the jealousy if you’re hiding messages, or not telling them your passcode.

3) “You’re always spending time with them instead of me”

When someone says, “You’re always hanging out with them instead of me,” it might mean they’re feeling a bit jealous. They want more of your time and attention in the relationship, feeling like they’re in a competition with the other person for your company. 

However, there is a wanting to be included, and then there is full-on jealousy. If your partner is saying this once in a while, then you probably don’t have anything to worry about.

If they are always saying things like this, then they might be showing some unhealthy jealousy.

Open communication is key. Sit down with your partner, express your understanding of their feelings, and assure them of your commitment.

Discuss ways to balance time together and reassure them that your relationship is a priority. 

4) “Who were you texting?”

If you’ve felt a connection with the things we talked about earlier, you might recognize the question, “Who were you texting?” It usually comes up when someone feels a bit insecure or unsure in a relationship.

When people are feeling jealous, they might just want some reassurance about who you’re talking to. 

Dealing with this is about being open and honest. Again, try not to hide your phone when you’re messaging, and let your partner know that you’re always straightforward with them. 

By consistently showing that you can be trusted, you can help ease their worries and make this question come up less often.

5) “Who is with you?”

When your partner asks, “Who is with you?” when you are on a night out, or even having lunch with friends, it can come from a worry about feeling replaced or less important. It’s like they’re thinking someone else might be trying to get your attention or affection. 

To make this fear go away, it’s important to talk openly about how exclusive your relationship is. Reassure your partner about your commitment and set clear boundaries together.

This helps build trust, making them feel more secure and less likely to ask these kinds of questions.

 It’s all about making sure they know they’re the person you care about.

6) “Where have you been?”

When your partner asks, “Where have you been?” it’s like they’re wondering where you’ve been spending your time. They might feel a bit left out or neglected if they’re not in the loop. 

To help with this, try to share your plans with them and include them when you can. Being open about what you’re up to makes them feel more included and less worried about not knowing.

It’s about creating a sense of togetherness and ensuring they’re part of your world.

Sometimes though, it can be coming from an irrational jealousy. Perhaps they have been cheated on in the past, or perhaps they have been neglected. Jealousy usually stems from past trauma or negative experiences.

Try your best to communicate with your partner and get to know them deeper, so you can understand where these fears are coming from and which situations fuel these insecurities.

7) “I thought we were supposed to do things together”

When your partner says, “I thought we were supposed to do things together,” What they’re trying to say, is that they want to share experiences and enjoy time with you. If they often bring this up, it’s important to rethink and make spending time together a priority. 

Create chances for shared moments and make sure both of you feel involved in each other’s lives. Balancing your personal interests with shared activities is key to making your bond stronger.

It’s all about finding that sweet spot where you both feel connected and enjoy each other’s company.

Final thoughts

To sum it up, a strong relationship relies on trust, communication, and respect. If these questions keep coming up, it might be helpful for both of you to talk openly about your needs, expectations, and worries. 

Set clear boundaries, build trust, and actively be a part of each other’s lives for a more secure and fulfilling relationship.

Remember, dealing with these questions isn’t about blaming each other. It’s about understanding each other’s perspectives and working together to make your connection even stronger. 

While having your own interests is important, finding a balance and making sure your partner feels valued and included are crucial for a thriving relationship.

Being open and honest with each other lays the foundation for a partnership where both of you feel safe, appreciated, and confident in the love you share.