There’s a vast difference between appearing strong and actually being strong.

Often, the ones who seem the most tenacious, are hiding a world of pain behind their formidable exterior.

It’s like they’re two different people. Outside, they’re a force to be reckoned with. Inside, they’re dealing with a turmoil that no one can see.

People who are inwardly broken but outwardly strong typically exhibit certain subtle behaviors that hint at their internal struggle. And those of us who can recognize these signs can provide support and understanding.

Here are 8 subtle behaviors usually displayed by these individuals that I’m going to share with you. Let’s delve into this intriguing contrast of strength and vulnerability.

1) They’re the go-to problem solvers

These individuals often have a knack for coming across as a rock in the turbulent sea.

Their outward strength makes them the go-to person for advice, aid, or comfort. They’re the ones others lean on in times of trouble. They have a reputation for being unshakeable, always ready to lend an ear or a helping hand.

However, this helpful exterior often hides an inner turmoil. They’re dealing with their own struggles while helping others with theirs.

This selfless approach is typical of those who are inwardly broken but outwardly strong. They’ll focus on aiding others, sometimes to avoid confronting their own pain.

2) They tend to push away help

I remember my friend, Alex. He was the kind of person who always seemed unassailable. No matter how hard the winds blew, Alex stood tall, helping others and never faltering.

But when Alex himself stumbled, he had a hard time accepting help. He’d shun any offer of assistance or support, insisting that he was fine and could handle things himself.

I later understood that this was a common behavior among those who are inwardly broken but outwardly strong. They’re so used to being the pillar for others that they forget it’s okay to lean on someone else sometimes.

These individuals often push help away, not because they don’t need it, but because they’ve conditioned themselves to bear their burdens alone. 

3) They’re often perfectionists

Perfectionism is more than just the pursuit of excellence. It’s an endless striving for flawlessness, turning self-improvement into an obsession.

Those who are inwardly broken but outwardly strong often display perfectionist tendencies. They set extremely high standards for themselves in an attempt to mask their inner turmoil.

They might constantly push themselves to achieve more and never seem satisfied with their accomplishments. This can be a sign of their internal struggle rather than a mere desire for excellence. Be mindful and supportive if you notice this behavior in someone.

4) They’re masters at wearing a mask

People who are inwardly broken but outwardly strong have perfected the art of hiding their true feelings. They’re adept at putting on a brave face, maintaining an image of strength and resilience.

This “mask” they wear is usually their way of protecting themselves and others from their internal pain. It’s not that they’re being insincere; rather, they’re trying to cope with their struggles while avoiding being a burden to others.

However, behind this facade, they might be dealing with a whirlwind of emotions that they feel unable to express openly. So if you notice someone always presenting an unflappable exterior, remember that there might be more going on beneath the surface.

5) They value others’ happiness over their own

People who are inwardly broken but outwardly strong often have an extraordinary capacity for empathy. They understand pain and struggle, which makes them more attuned to the needs of others.

They’ll go out of their way to ensure others are happy, often putting the needs and feelings of others before their own. Their happiness often stems from seeing others happy.

While this might seem noble, it’s also a sign of their internal struggle. They might be trying to fill the void within them by making a difference in others’ lives.

If you notice this behavior in someone, remind them that their feelings matter too. Encourage them to take care of themselves and let them know it’s okay to prioritize their happiness as well.

6) They’re often the hardest on themselves

I’ve spent countless nights replaying events of the day, scrutinizing every word I said, every action I took. I’d berate myself for the smallest mistakes, feeling a sense of guilt and disappointment that was often disproportionate to the situation.

This harsh self-criticism is a common trait among those who are inwardly broken but outwardly strong. They hold themselves to incredibly high standards and often blame themselves unnecessarily when things go wrong.

They may appear to be tough on the outside, but on the inside, they might be their own harshest critics.

7) They struggle with expressing their feelings

Communication is key in any relationship, but for those who are inwardly broken but outwardly strong, expressing their feelings can be a real challenge. They might fear that showing vulnerability will shatter the image of strength they’ve worked so hard to maintain.

These individuals often keep their emotions bottled up, choosing to wrestle with their feelings internally rather than sharing them. This can lead to a build-up of stress and emotional fatigue.

If you notice someone struggling to express their feelings, it’s important to remind them that showing vulnerability isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of courage and authenticity, and there is strength in seeking support when needed.

8) They never ask for help

The most telling sign of someone who is inwardly broken but outwardly strong is their reluctance to ask for help. They may view it as a sign of weakness, or they might not want to burden others with their problems.

This refusal to reach out can make their internal struggle even more challenging. It’s important to remember that asking for help is not a sign of weakness. In fact, reaching out to others in times of need is one of the bravest things a person can do.

If you notice this behavior in someone, remind them that it’s okay to ask for help and that there are people who genuinely care about their well-being and want to support them through their struggles.