People who are incredibly self-absorbed usually display these 9 behaviors (without realizing it)
There is a fine line between self-confidence and self-absorption that, when crossed, frequently results in behaviors that are offensive to others.
What makes it even more challenging is that many individuals who are deeply self-absorbed may not realize the impact of their actions.
Being self-absorbed is all about constantly focusing on oneself, often without realizing the impact it has on those around them. And observant people know there are certain behaviors that these individuals commonly display.
Below are 9 behaviors to look out for if you suspect someone in your life might be a little too wrapped up in themselves.
1) They dominate conversations
One of the most recognizable traits of a self-absorbed person is their tendency to dominate conversations.
It’s not uncommon for these individuals to turn any topic of discussion back to themselves. Whether it’s their accomplishments, their problems, or their opinions, the conversation always seems to revolve around them.
This isn’t always intentional. Many self-absorbed individuals genuinely don’t realize they’re doing this. They might just think they’re sharing or being open.
2) Lack of empathy
I’ll never forget an interaction I had with an acquaintance at a party a few years back. I was going through a rough patch at work, and when I opened up about it, his response was something along the lines of “Oh, that reminds me of when I had to deal with…” And just like that, the conversation shifted back to him.
Showcasing a lack of empathy is another typical behavior of self-absorbed individuals. They often struggle to put themselves in someone else’s shoes and show genuine concern for other’s feelings or experiences.
Instead, they tend to relate others’ experiences back to their own, shifting the focus back onto themselves. It’s not that they intentionally mean to be unkind or dismissive; they just genuinely struggle to see things from another person’s perspective.
3) Excessive self-promotion
Did you know that studies have shown a correlation between excessive self-promotion and narcissism? Individuals who consistently boast about their achievements, often without prompting, tend to score higher on narcissism scales.
Self-absorbed people are often their own biggest fans. They love to talk about their achievements, their talents, their possessions – you name it. If it puts them in a good light, they’re going to bring it up.
The constant need for validation and admiration can be exhausting for those around them. It’s normal to be proud of your accomplishments and share them with others, but when it becomes excessive, it can be a telltale sign of self-absorption.
4) They’re always the victim
Self-absorbed individuals have a knack for playing the victim. No matter the situation, they somehow find a way to twist it so they’re the one being wronged.
This victim mentality allows them to shift blame and avoid taking responsibility for their actions. It’s always someone else’s fault, never theirs.
This behavior can be incredibly frustrating for those around them. It not only negates any accountability on their part, but it also creates an environment where they’re constantly seeking sympathy and attention.
If you notice someone in your life always playing the victim and refusing to take responsibility, it could be a sign of self-absorption.
5) They rarely ask about others
In my experience, one significant indicator of self-absorption is when an individual rarely shows interest in others. They seldom ask about your day, your feelings, or your experiences.
They might be the life of the party, but when it comes to genuine, reciprocal relationships, they often fall short. They’re so wrapped up in their own world that they forget to show interest in anyone else’s.
This lack of curiosity about others can be isolating and hurtful. It sends a message that they don’t value you or what you have to say.
6) They struggle with genuine compliments
It’s a beautiful thing to compliment someone sincerely. To notice something positive about them and vocalize it. It’s a simple gesture, but it can mean the world to someone.
However, self-absorbed individuals often struggle with this. They find it difficult to give genuine compliments. It’s not that they don’t see the good in others; it’s just that they’re so focused on themselves that they forget to acknowledge it.
More than that, they might see complimenting others as a threat to their own self-image. They might feel that by praising others, they’re somehow diminishing their own worth.
7) They have a hard time apologizing
A few years back, I had a falling out with a close friend. We both said things we regretted, but when it came time to make amends, my friend struggled to apologize.
It wasn’t that they didn’t feel remorse, but their self-absorption made it hard for them to admit they were wrong.
Self-absorbed individuals often find it challenging to apologize. Saying “I’m sorry” involves admitting fault and showing vulnerability, something they are not comfortable with. They see apologies as a dent in their self-image and tend to avoid them.
8) They crave attention
There’s no denying it – self-absorbed individuals love the spotlight. Whether it’s at work, a social gathering, or even online, they crave attention and validation from others.
They often go to great lengths to ensure they’re the center of attention, sometimes even resorting to dramatic or exaggerated behavior.
This incessant need for attention stems from their belief that they’re more important and interesting than others.
While it’s natural to want recognition or praise, the constant need for attention can come across as desperate and can be draining for those around them.
9) They lack self-awareness
Perhaps the most significant trait of a self-absorbed person is a lack of self-awareness. They often don’t realize how their behavior affects those around them.
They may not understand why friends or colleagues distance themselves or why their relationships often hit rocky patches. They’re so wrapped up in themselves that they fail to see how their actions impact others.
The irony? They’re usually the last to realize they’re self-absorbed.
This lack of self-awareness is what makes dealing with self-absorbed individuals so challenging. It’s hard to address a problem when the person isn’t even aware there’s an issue.
Final thoughts: Understanding is key
When dealing with self-absorbed individuals, it’s essential to remember that their behaviors often stem from a place of insecurity or a need for validation – not out of malice or intent to harm.
Whether you identify these traits in someone you know or in yourself, the first step towards change is awareness. And remember, it’s okay to establish boundaries and protect your own mental and emotional wellbeing.