I’ve always been intrigued by the idea that success and happiness go hand in hand.

But the older I get, the more I see how often they drift apart.

Some of the most successful people I’ve met—those who seem to have everything—carry a heaviness you wouldn’t expect.

It’s a quiet paradox: outward achievements masking an inner void.

If you’ve ever wondered how success can coexist with misery, you’re not alone.

Let’s explore nine subtle behaviors that reveal the hidden struggles of those who seem to have it all.

Maybe you’ll recognize a few—or gain new insight into what true fulfillment really looks like.

1) They are perfectionists

Perfectionism can be a double-edged sword.

On one hand, it can push people to achieve great things in their career.

The relentless pursuit of excellence can result in remarkable achievements.

That’s why you’ll often find perfectionists at the top of their fields.

But there’s a dark side to this trait as well.

According to experts, perfectionists tend to set extremely high standards for themselves, and they can be extremely critical when they fail to meet these standards.

This constant self-criticism can lead to feelings of misery and dissatisfaction, even when they are outwardly successful.

So if you notice someone who is highly successful but constantly critical of their own work, they may be dealing with the burdens of perfectionism.

And this could be contributing to their feelings of unhappiness, despite their career success.

2) They struggle to find work-life balance

Work-life balance is a challenge for many of us, myself included.

There was a time in my life when my career took precedence over everything else.

I was climbing the corporate ladder, hitting every target, and exceeding expectations. But my personal life was suffering.

I barely had time for family or friends.

Even worse, I rarely had time for myself. I was successful on paper but felt miserable and burnt out.

This is a common theme among high-achievers. They pour all their energy into their work, leaving little left for their personal lives.

Their dedication to their career can lead to isolation and a sense of emptiness outside of work.

This lack of work-life balance can result in increased stress and burnout.

So, if you see someone who’s professionally successful but seems to lack a satisfying personal life, they may be struggling to find that elusive work-life balance.

3) They often ignore physical health

The human body is not designed to endure prolonged periods of stress without consequences.

Successful, high-stress careers often involve long hours and high levels of mental exertion.

As a result, physical health can often be neglected.

Did you know that chronic stress can lead to a multitude of health issues such as heart disease, hypertension, diabetes, and even some types of cancer?

Many successful individuals are so focused on their careers that they overlook the importance of regular exercise, a balanced diet, and adequate sleep.

This neglect of physical health can contribute to feelings of misery, as the body struggles to cope with the demands placed on it.

So if you see a successful person who constantly looks tired, or who doesn’t take care of their physical health, it may be a sign that they are not as satisfied with their life as their success might suggest.

4) They constantly compare themselves to others

Comparison is the thief of joy, as the saying goes.

Even those who have achieved great success are not immune to this trap.

In fact, it can be even more prevalent among high-achievers.

They often measure their worth based on their accomplishments relative to others.

Despite their achievements, they tend to focus on those who are more successful, richer, or seemingly happier.

This constant comparison can lead to feelings of inadequacy and unhappiness, overshadowing their own accomplishments.

So, if you come across a highly successful individual who always seems to downplay their achievements while highlighting others’, they might be stuck in the comparison trap, contributing to their feelings of misery.

5) They lack a sense of purpose

Finding a sense of purpose in what we do is a crucial component of our overall happiness.

Many successful individuals, in their relentless pursuit of career advancement, sometimes lose sight of why they started in the first place.

They may find themselves questioning the purpose and meaning of their work, leading to feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction.

Despite their accomplishments, they can feel like a ship adrift at sea, moving but with no clear direction.

This lack of purpose can lead to a deep sense of unhappiness, which is often masked by their outward success.

So if you see a highly successful person who seems to be questioning their work or lacking enthusiasm despite their achievements, it could be a sign that they are grappling with finding their sense of purpose.

6) They struggle with relationships

Success is often a journey that demands time, energy, and sometimes, personal sacrifices.

In the pursuit of career advancement, relationships can sometimes take a back seat.

High-achievers may find themselves missing family events, skipping social gatherings, or constantly checking work emails during a date night.

They may have all the professional success in the world, but if their personal relationships are suffering, it can leave them feeling lonely and unfulfilled.

After all, humans are social creatures, and meaningful connections are integral to our sense of happiness.

If a highly successful person seems to have strained relationships or struggles to maintain close connections, it might be a sign that their professional success is casting a shadow on their personal life, leaving them feeling unfulfilled.

7) They struggle with imposter syndrome

Imposter Syndrome is a psychological phenomenon where individuals doubt their skills, talents, or accomplishments.

They harbor an internal fear of being exposed as a “fraud”.

I remember when I was promoted to a senior leadership position.

On the outside, I was confident and composed.

But inside, I was constantly questioning if I was good enough, if I deserved the role, and when people would realize that I was not as competent as they thought.

This fear can be even more pronounced in highly successful individuals.

They often attribute their success to luck rather than their own abilities.

This constant self-doubt can lead to anxiety and unhappiness, despite their outward success.

If you encounter a highly successful person who continually doubts their achievements or fears being “found out”, they may be grappling with Imposter Syndrome.

8) They have a fear of failure

Failure is part of life. But for some highly successful individuals, the fear of failure can be debilitating.

Despite their success, they may constantly worry about making a mistake or falling short of their own or others’ expectations.

This fear can create a high level of stress and can even prevent them from taking on new challenges or opportunities.

Rather than viewing failure as a stepping stone to success, they see it as a catastrophic event that must be avoided at all costs.

This fear can rob them of their happiness and leave them feeling constantly on edge.

So if you see a successful person who seems overly cautious or anxious about making mistakes, they could be wrestling with a fear of failure.

9) They neglect self-care

Self-care is not a luxury, it’s a necessity.

Highly successful individuals often put their personal needs and well-being on the back burner in the pursuit of their career goals.

They may neglect basic self-care practices like getting enough sleep, eating healthily, taking breaks, or engaging in activities they enjoy.

This neglect can take a toll on their physical and mental health, leading to burnout and feelings of misery.

No amount of success is worth sacrificing your well-being.

If a successful person seems to be constantly operating on overdrive without taking time for themselves, they might be neglecting essential self-care, causing a detrimental impact on their happiness.

Final thoughts

Success without happiness can feel like standing on a mountain peak, only to realize the view doesn’t match what you’d hoped for.

I’ve come to believe the climb isn’t solely defined by reaching the top—it’s shaped by how we feel throughout the journey.

If these behaviors resonate with you or someone you know, they’re a nudge to pause and reevaluate what success means.

True success is more than titles or accolades; it’s finding joy in the life you’ve built, connecting meaningfully with others, and taking care of your mind and body.

You don’t have to choose between achievement and happiness—they can exist together, but only if you let them.

So ask yourself: What does a fulfilling life look like for you, and how can you start creating it today?