People who are highly intelligent but low in confidence often display these 9 subtle behaviors without realizing it

Lucas Graham by Lucas Graham | August 6, 2024, 10:56 am

Intelligence doesn’t always come with a side of confidence. In fact, some of the smartest people I know struggle with self-doubt.

Surprisingly, these intelligent folks often exhibit certain behaviors that hint at their lack of confidence, even without them realizing it.

Have you ever wondered about these subtle signs? Stick around, because I’m about to reveal the 9 behaviors that highly intelligent, but low-confidence individuals often display, without even noticing.

1) Overthinking every decision

It’s common knowledge that intelligent people have a knack for deep thinking. But when you couple high intelligence with low confidence, you get a mind that’s constantly in overdrive.

These people often find themselves caught in a loop of over-analysis, dissecting every angle of a problem far beyond what’s needed.

The fear of making the wrong choice, or not being able to live up to their own high standards, can paralyze them into inaction.

While this meticulous attention to detail can be useful in certain situations, it often results in unnecessary stress and worry.

The irony is that their intelligence could help them make good decisions quickly. However, their lack of confidence often stops them from trusting their own judgement.

If you notice someone constantly second-guessing themselves or taking too long to make decisions, they might be suffering from this subtle behavior. It’s a classic sign of someone who’s smart, but lacks the confidence to back up their smarts.

2) Apologizing excessively

Let me tell you about this friend I once had, a brilliant artist whose talent knew no bounds. His creations were awe-inspiring, yet he struggled with believing in his own abilities.

One striking trait of his was his incessant need to apologize. Praise his work, and he’d immediately downplay it, apologizing for any perceived flaws. Ask him for a favor, and he’d apologize for any perceived delay, even if he completed it ahead of schedule.

His constant apologies were his shield against criticism. He believed that by acknowledging his shortcomings first, he could somehow soften the blow of potential negative feedback. It was a painful reflection of his lack of self-assurance, watching someone so gifted consistently undervalue themselves.

If you notice excessive apologizing in yourself or others, especially when it’s unwarranted, it could be a telling sign of high intelligence overshadowed by profound self-doubt.

3) Preferring to work alone

When it comes to tackling a project, people with high intelligence and low self-confidence often prefer to work alone.

This isn’t just because they can focus better without interruption. It’s also because they fear being judged or criticized by their peers. The safety of solitude allows them to completely control the outcome without the perceived risk of public failure.

Interestingly, a study found that people with higher IQs tend to be more comfortable with solitude than their less-intelligent counterparts. This preference for solitude can be a blessing in tasks requiring deep focus but can also be a telltale sign of low self-confidence.

4) Self-deprecation

Smart folks with confidence issues tend to have this knack for downplaying themselves, often using humor as a buffer.

They’ll crack a joke at their own expense in a heartbeat, shrugging off compliments and making light of their achievements. Sure, some might find their self-deprecating humor charming, but it’s usually a cover-up for their deep-seated insecurities.

Now, don’t get me wrong, a bit of self-mockery here and there can be refreshing, but constantly undervaluing yourself? Not so much.

This behavior points to an ongoing struggle between their smarts and their self-belief. They’re fully aware of what they’re capable of, yet they battle the fear of coming off as arrogant or falling short of their own high expectations.

5) Fear of failure

Being afraid to fail is something we all experience. But for highly intelligent people with low confidence, this fear can become overwhelming.

They often see failure not as a learning opportunity but as a brutal reminder of their perceived inadequacies. They may dwell on their mistakes and replay them over and over in their minds, magnifying the negative impact.

They might also avoid taking risks or trying new things because they’re terrified of failing and being judged. This can prevent them from reaching their full potential and exploring new opportunities.

6) Struggling to accept compliments

 Ever witnessed someone squirming in discomfort when showered with praise?

For those brimming with intellect but lacking in confidence, compliments can feel like an interrogation under a glaring spotlight, exposing every vulnerability.

They might brush off their accomplishments, steer the conversation elsewhere, or even rebut the praise. It’s not that they don’t value the kind words; it’s simply that they wrestle with accepting them as true.

7) Seeking constant reassurance

Years ago, when I started my first job, I remember constantly seeking approval from my boss. I wanted to do well and feared making mistakes. I’d double-check and even triple-check my work, asking my boss for reassurance that everything was okay.

This is a common behavior among highly intelligent people who lack confidence. They’re often unsure of their decisions, even when they’ve done an excellent job. They need external validation to reassure themselves that they’re on the right track.

This chronic need for reassurance may stem from their fear of failure or their inability to trust their own judgement. It’s a subtle sign of their internal struggle with self-confidence.

8) Avoiding eye contact

Eye contact can be a powerful form of non-verbal communication. But for those who are highly intelligent yet lack confidence, maintaining eye contact can be a real struggle.

They often avoid meeting people’s eyes, not because they’re disinterested or rude, but because they’re uncomfortable with the attention. They might fear being scrutinized or judged, so they choose to divert their gaze instead.

This avoidance of eye contact is a subtle sign that they may be battling with low self-confidence. It’s their way of creating a barrier between themselves and others, to keep their insecurities hidden.

9) Perfectionism

One of the surefire signs of being super smart but struggling with confidence is perfectionism. These folks set the bar sky-high for themselves and won’t rest until they hit it.

They’re petrified that anything less than flawless equals failure, which heaps on the stress, burns them out, and sometimes makes them dodge tasks they fear they won’t ace. This all-or-nothing mindset ends up holding them back and keeping them from reaching their full potential.

So, if you spot someone obsessing over perfection in every little thing they do, realize it’s not just about wanting to be top-notch. It could be a deep-seated battle with self-belief, a war they’re waging internally, day in and day out.

Final thoughts: It’s about understanding, not judgment

As we dive into the intricacies of human behavior, it’s essential to recognize that those little quirks we see in highly intelligent yet self-doubting individuals aren’t just random glitches. They’re glimpses into a common struggle many of us know too well.

Understanding these behaviors isn’t just about being insightful; it’s about fostering empathy and patience for those wrestling with their own minds. Think about it: it could be your best buddy, your work buddy, your favorite aunt, or hey, even you.

And you know what? Acceptance is where the real magic happens. It’s not about pointing fingers or passing judgment; it’s about using these insights to become better allies for the brilliant minds battling their inner doubts right alongside us.