Like a lot of people I’m guessing, I wish I had more staying power.

What could I have achieved by now, where might I be, if only I had the gumption to never give up?

This fighting spirit could seem like a natural gift some people are simply born with.

Sure, part of it may be down to their personality. But we shouldn’t underestimate those all-important actions that reinforce the habit of willpower.

Because people who are highly determined often do certain things to get ahead in life that we can learn a thing or two from. 

1) Sacrifice short-term satisfaction for long-term rewards

That’s not an easy thing to do.

Biology stands against you as your brain is hardwired to prioritize instant gratification.

The science tells us that trying to rationalize what we stand to gain often isn’t a big enough motivator.

Research from Princeton University says that the brain is in a constant battle over short-term rewards and long-term goals.

Here’s why:

There are two areas in our brain— one linked to our feelings, the other to our abstract reasoning.

The tricky part is keeping our emotional side under control, as that’s the bit that is very driven by immediate feedback.

So it creates a constant dilemma explains David Laibson from Harvard University.

“Our emotional brain wants to max out the credit card, order dessert, and smoke a cigarette. Our logical brain knows we should save for retirement, go for a jog, and quit smoking.”

I guess the important question is, how do highly determined people seemingly override this?

For starters, managing your environment by removing as much temptation as possible can ensure you’re not setting yourself up for failure.

It’s also wise to stay attentive to your needs along the way. It’s easier to give up when you push yourself too hard and neglect your fundamental well-being.

But attaching an emotional narrative to your end goal can also help to make you see things through.

That’s why it’s important to know your “why” and frequently remind yourself of it.

2) Have clearly defined goals

It’s much harder to arrive at your final destination when you’re not even sure where that is, let alone how you will get there.

Planning out our dreams to turn them into practical roadmaps to success is hard enough. But for many people, the first problem is knowing what they want in the first place.

Highly determined people have strong desires that drive them forward.

That comes from:

• Understanding your core values and knowing what you want out of life
• Not being tempted to follow other people’s ideas of success — e.g. to impress your peers or keep your parents happy
• Searching for ambitions to work towards that feel purposeful and meaningful to you
• Being honest about your personal strengths and weaknesses

Armed with this wealth of self-awareness, then you can start to take that information and carve out a plan.

Research has shown the psychological benefits of goal setting in helping people get ahead.

Here’s the thing:

You don’t need to have every single step mapped out. In fact, that’s impossible because we have to respond and adapt to unforeseen changes along the way.

What you do need is the first few steps along the way clearly defined, and broken down into practical, measurable, and (importantly) achievable actions.

3) Fall down seven times, stand up eight

We’ve all heard the expression that you’ve got to ‘get back on the horse’.

Meaning when life knocks you down, you have to keep trying.

But I prefer this old Japanese proverb version of the same sentiment, because I think it better reflects the relentlessness of life’s ups and downs.

Because if we’re honest, it’s not one knock we have to overcome, it’s many.

The most determined people on earth are able to remain so because of their unwavering resilience.

It’s this strong grit that just won’t quit.

What we often fail to appreciate is that resilience is built.

The good news is that no matter how fearful you feel right now, you have the power to become mentally tougher.

The not-so-great news is how you get there.

Because it’s usually the case that a thick skin is hard won through exposing ourselves to struggles and learning we’ll survive.

That means leaving your comfort zone and pushing yourself.

But it also involves plenty of self-compassion, positivity, and self-forgiveness too — as we’re about to see next.

4) Act like the warrior whose weapon is made out of flowers

You’re probably confused, so let me explain:

Today I was in a yoga class where the teacher told the story of the Goddess Lalita.

Her name means ​​“she who plays”. Born out of fire she is the undisputed supreme power and symbolic of all existence in the Universe.

She encourages us to love ourselves and enjoy the dance of life.

In Hindu tradition, she carries a bow with arrows made from long-stem flowers.

This imagery is powerful, and a lesson we could all learn from.

The point is:

Often to be our fiercest version, we must embrace a softer approach.

Hustle leads to burnout, unrealistic expectations to perfectionism, and unrelenting pressure to defeatism and even despair.

Those who stay determined are able to tap into some wonderful self-motivators, including:

• Self-love
• Self-belief
• Self-compassion
• Curiosity
• Gratitude and self-appreciation
• Forgiveness

The toughest shells are often built around the inner strength of a soft interior.

Determined people allow themselves to be human, make mistakes, and outright fail. Rather than beat themselves up they choose to be kind to themselves.

This is what gives them the positive energy to keep on going.

5) Believe whether you win or lose it’s all down to you

There’s no denying that when you first read that statement, it can feel daunting rather than motivating.

But psychologically speaking, a so-called internal locus of control has been shown to be important when it comes to motivation.

In a nutshell, it’s about whether you are prepared to take 100% responsibility for yourself.

Sadly, that means ditching excuses and not looking for a scapegoat when things go wrong.

But on the plus side, when you become fully accountable for your thoughts, feelings, and actions it gives you so much more control in your life.

You no longer feel like you need to wait for conditions to be just right and you aren’t frozen into inaction by the terror that things could go wrong.

You are no longer a victim, you are the hero in your story.

Of course, it takes a lot of self-awareness to achieve. But that mindset shift empowers you to quit your complaining, roll up your sleeves, and get to work.

Highly determined people aren’t free from doubt

I often see it said that the most persistent, motivated, and successful people in the world are “fearless”.

It may seem like that from the outside looking in, but I can’t help but think it’s BS.

Fear is a normal and natural part of life.

Only the most delusional egotists can escape that questioning nag of self-doubt from time to time. It finds us all.

But the key is arming yourself with the tools to psychologically build yourself up so that fear doesn’t derail you.

Those are the skillsets and qualities that highly determined people have mastered better than most.