Listening isn’t just about staying quiet while the other person talks. It’s about truly understanding and responding to what they’re saying.

Being a great listener takes more than just good ear. It’s a whole set of qualities that make people feel heard, understood and valued.

People who excel in this often share certain unique traits. And guess what? These traits are not exclusive to them – anyone can develop these with a bit of practice and patience.

In this article, we will dive into the 8 unique traits that great listeners often exhibit. So, grab a cup of coffee, sit back, and let’s explore these traits together.

1) They are fully present

You’ve probably experienced this before – you’re talking to someone and they are physically there, but mentally they are miles away.

Now, think about a time when you felt truly heard. Chances are, the listener was fully present in the moment. They didn’t interrupt, didn’t hurry you along, and definitely did not check their phone while you were talking.

Being fully present is the foundation of great listening. It’s more than just hearing words – it’s about paying full attention to the person speaking, their body language, their tone of voice, and what’s left unsaid.

Great listeners have mastered the art of being present. They create a space where the speaker feels valued and understood.

And the good news is that being present is a skill that can be learned and honed with practice. So, next time when someone’s talking to you, try putting away your phone and giving them your undivided attention. You’d be surprised how much difference it makes!

2) They don’t just listen, they understand

Here’s a little story from my own life.

I remember a time when I was having a really hard day, and a friend of mine was there to listen. I was rattling off my frustrations, and she was nodding and giving the right responses. But halfway through my rant, she asked me a question about something completely unrelated.

It stung because it showed that while she had been listening, she wasn’t really understanding or connecting with what I was saying.

Great listeners do more than just hear – they understand. They make an effort to grasp not just the words you’re saying, but the emotions behind them. They don’t interrupt or change the subject. They ask insightful questions, reflect on what’s being said, and show empathy.

The key to great listening is creating a safe space where the speaker feels heard and understood. And the first step to understanding is actually caring about the other person’s perspective. So next time you are listening to someone, make an effort to truly understand their viewpoint and feelings. It can make all the difference in the world.

3) They exhibit patience

In a world of rapid-fire communication and constant digital alerts, patience has become a rare trait. But it’s a defining characteristic of great listeners.

Imagine a conversation as a journey. If you’re rushing, you’re going to miss out on the view, the nuances, and the shared experience.

Research shows that our brains are wired to think far more quickly than we speak. We speak at about 125 words per minute, while we think at 1000 to 3000 words per minute. This speed difference can make listening patiently a challenge, but it’s also what makes it so valuable.

Great listeners resist the urge to fill the silence or rush the speaker. They let the conversation unfold at its own pace, giving the speaker time to express their thoughts fully. This patience allows them to understand and absorb what’s being said more deeply. So next time, slow down and give the other person the gift of your patience.

4) They’re not afraid of silence

Silence can be uncomfortable for many of us. We often feel the need to fill it with words, even when we don’t have anything significant to say.

But great listeners understand the value of silence. They know that moments of quiet can give the speaker time to gather their thoughts and express their feelings more thoroughly.

Silence can also encourage deeper reflection, both for the speaker and the listener. It allows us to digest what’s been said and formulate a thoughtful response.

So, if you’re striving to be a better listener, don’t shy away from silence. Embrace it as an essential part of meaningful communication. Remember, it’s perfectly okay not to have an immediate response or fill every pause with words. Sometimes, silence can speak louder than words.

5) They show empathy

Imagine you’re sharing a personal struggle with someone, only to receive a cold, indifferent response. It feels terrible, right?

Now, imagine the opposite. The person you’re talking to genuinely cares about your feelings and is able to put themselves in your shoes. How does that feel? Comforting, validating, and heartfelt, isn’t it?

That’s the power of empathy.

Great listeners don’t just listen with their ears; they listen with their hearts. They acknowledge the other person’s feelings and show that they truly care.

Empathy can turn a simple conversation into a meaningful connection. It makes people feel seen, heard, and understood.

So, whether you’re listening to a friend’s problem, a coworker’s idea, or a stranger’s story, strive to show empathy. It could make all the difference for the person speaking – and for your ability to truly understand them.

6) They keep their judgments to themselves

Here’s something I’ve noticed. When someone shares something with me, my mind often starts forming opinions or making judgments. It’s a human tendency, but it can become a barrier to effective listening.

Great listeners know the importance of keeping these judgments at bay. They create a safe environment for the speaker to express themselves freely, without fear of being judged or criticized.

This doesn’t mean they agree with everything that’s being said. It simply means they respect the speaker’s right to their own thoughts and feelings.

So next time you find your mind jumping to conclusions while someone else is speaking, take a step back. Remind yourself that your role, in that moment, is to listen and understand, not to judge. It’s a small shift in mindset that can greatly enhance your listening skills.

7) They give constructive feedback

Listening isn’t a passive activity where you simply absorb what the other person is saying. It’s a two-way street, and giving feedback is an important part of it.

Great listeners know how to provide constructive feedback. They don’t just nod along; they engage in the conversation. They ask insightful questions, share relevant experiences, and offer thoughtful perspectives.

But they also know how to do this without taking over the conversation or making it about them. Their feedback is always aimed at helping the speaker gain more clarity or see different perspectives.

So, don’t hold back when you have something valuable to add to the conversation. Just remember to do it in a way that respects the speaker’s feelings and enhances the conversation.

8) They value the art of listening

At the heart of it all, great listeners truly value the art of listening. They understand that it’s not just about being quiet while the other person talks. It’s about building connections, understanding others, and fostering mutual respect.

They see each conversation as an opportunity to learn something new, to see the world from a different perspective. For them, listening is not just a skill, but a way to enrich their relationships and their lives.

So, if there’s one thing you take away from this, let it be this: Value the art of listening. It’s one of the most powerful tools we have for connecting with others on a deeper level.

Final thoughts: Listening is an art

The beauty of human interaction is that it’s not just about speaking; it’s equally about listening. And just like any art, mastering the skill of listening requires patience, practice, and a deep understanding of its nuances.

Listening is more than just a passive act of receiving information. It’s an active process that involves empathy, understanding, and most importantly, genuine interest in what the other person has to say.

Studies have shown that effective listening can have profound effects on our relationships, both personal and professional. It can lead to better understanding, improved trust, and stronger bonds.

Great listeners aren’t born; they are made. And the traits they exhibit are not exclusive gifts but skills that anyone can learn and cultivate.

So as we go about our lives, interacting with people from all walks of life, let’s strive to be better listeners – to truly hear and understand those around us. Because in the end, it’s not just about hearing the spoken words; it’s about understanding the unspoken emotions, the underlying feelings, and the shared experiences.

In essence, listening is not just about being silent; it’s about being present. And in a world where everyone wants to be heard, being a good listener might just be the most beautiful gift you can give someone.