Ever wonder about the secret sauce behind great conversationalists? It’s not just about what they say, it’s also about what they don’t say.

Believe it or not, avoiding certain phrases can turn an ordinary chat into an engaging conversation.

So, let’s dive into the 10 common phrases that people with great conversational skills usually dodge.

1. “You’re wrong”

Now this one might seem obvious, but you’d be surprised how often we resort to it, especially in heated discussions. It’s a conversation stopper, not a conversation starter.

People with great conversational skills usually avoid this phrase because it shuts down the other person’s point of view and it can make them defensive. Instead, they choose to express their differing opinion in a more subtle and respectful way.

They might say something like, “That’s an interesting perspective, but have you considered this…?” This keeps the conversation open and allows for a healthy exchange of ideas.

2. “Actually, I…”

Ever been in a conversation where the other person constantly brings the topic back to themselves? It’s like they’re waiting for their turn to speak rather than actually listening to you.

Good conversationalists avoid doing this, they understand that conversation is a two-way street. Instead of starting sentences with “Actually, I…”, they ask questions and show genuine interest in the other person’s thoughts and experiences.

This makes the other person feel valued and keeps the conversation interesting and balanced.

3. “I don’t have time”

This phrase can be a real conversation killer. I remember once when a friend was telling me about this fascinating book he was reading. I was tempted to say, “I don’t have time for reading,” but instead, I chose to ask him more about it.

This not only kept our conversation flowing, but it also gave me a chance to learn something new.

Good conversationalists avoid saying “I don’t have time” because it can make the other person feel dismissed or unimportant. Instead, they show curiosity and openness, which keeps the conversation engaging and dynamic.

4. “It’s not my fault”

No one likes a blame game. It brings negative energy into the conversation and can leave the other person feeling frustrated. Interestingly, taking responsibility for our actions and admitting our mistakes can actually increase others’ perceptions of our competence and likability.

Good conversationalists understand this. Instead of saying “It’s not my fault”, they admit their mistakes and focus on finding solutions. This helps to maintain a positive tone and fosters mutual respect in a conversation.

5. “Whatever”

This one-word phrase can pack quite a punch, and not in a good way. It’s dismissive, it’s indifferent, and it can be hurtful.

Imagine sharing your thoughts and feelings with someone, only for them to respond with “whatever.” It can feel like a slap in the face.

Good conversationalists understand the impact such a simple word can have. They avoid using “whatever” and instead, they acknowledge the other person’s feelings and thoughts.

6. “I knew that already”

There was this one time when my colleague was excitedly telling me about a new marketing strategy she had learned. I had already read about it, but instead of cutting her off with an “I knew that already,” I let her finish. I even asked her some questions to keep the conversation going.

Good conversationalists understand that saying “I knew that already” can be disheartening to the other person. Instead, they show appreciation for the shared information or experience, keeping the conversation lively and the other person motivated to continue sharing.

7. “To be honest, I don’t care”

Let’s face it, we can’t be interested in everything and everyone. And that’s perfectly okay. But saying “To be honest, I don’t care” to someone mid-conversation is just rude. It’s like throwing a bucket of cold water on them.

Good conversationalists know that they don’t have to be fascinated by every topic, but they also understand the importance of respecting the other person’s interests. Instead of bluntly stating disinterest, they steer the conversation towards common ground or gently guide it to a new topic.

This keeps the conversation alive and both parties engaged.

8. “That’s stupid”

Labelling someone’s idea or opinion as “stupid” is not just rude, it can also stifle creativity and innovation.

An interesting fact is that many breakthrough ideas were initially dismissed as “stupid” or “impossible.” Good conversationalists know this. They avoid using phrases like “that’s stupid” and instead, they encourage the sharing of ideas, even those that seem outlandish or unconventional.

9. “No offense, but…”

I remember when a friend of mine used this phrase before giving me some unsolicited advice. Even though he started with “No offense, but…”, I still felt offended. That’s because this phrase is often followed by a negative or critical statement.

Good conversationalists know this and avoid using it. Instead, if they need to provide constructive feedback, they do so in a respectful and empathetic manner. They focus on the issue at hand, not the person, making the conversation more productive and less personal.

10. “You wouldn’t understand”

Assuming someone wouldn’t understand is not just presumptuous, it’s dismissive. It can make the other person feel underestimated or excluded.

Good conversationalists avoid making such assumptions. If they’re discussing a complex issue, they take the time to explain it in a way that’s accessible and engaging. They believe in the potential of others to understand and contribute to the conversation, which leads to more enriching and inclusive discussions.

There you have it – eleven phrases that people with great conversational skills tend to dodge. By avoiding these phrases and adopting a more respectful and open approach, you too can become a master of conversation!