People who are good at small talk always use these 9 phrases

Tina Fey by Tina Fey | September 18, 2024, 4:34 pm

Mastering small talk can be a real game changer. It’s all about making the other person feel comfortable and heard, while keeping the conversation light and engaging.

Those who are good at small talk have figured out that it’s not just about what you say, but how you say it.

They’ve got certain go-to phrases that they use to steer the conversation in a positive direction and keep things flowing smoothly.

In this article, I’ll share the top 9 phrases that people who are amazing at small talk always use.

These phrases are simple, yet super effective. So, if you want to up your small talk game, keep reading!

1) How’s your day going?

The beauty of small talk lies in its simplicity. And what’s simpler than asking about someone’s day?

People who excel in small talk know that this question is an easy and non-intrusive way to kick off a conversation. It shows interest in the other person’s life without prying too much.

Moreover, it opens up a variety of topics to delve into. Their response could lead to discussions about work, hobbies, or even current events. The key here is to listen carefully and respond with genuine interest.

The goal of small talk is to build a connection, and showing interest in someone’s day is a straightforward way to do that. However, it’s crucial to ask this with sincerity to avoid seeming superficial or insincive.

When you’re at a networking event or meeting new people, start your conversation with a simple “How’s your day going?”. You’d be surprised how far this can take the conversation.

2) That reminds me of…

One trick I’ve learned to keep a conversation flowing is to use the phrase, “That reminds me of…”

By linking the topic at hand to a personal story or experience, you’re not only keeping the conversation going but also sharing a bit about yourself. This creates a deeper connection and encourages the other person to share their experiences too.

For instance, once at a networking event, I asked someone about their recent vacation. They mentioned they had been to Paris and loved visiting the Louvre. I responded with, “That reminds me of when I visited Rome and spent an entire day at the Vatican Museums. The art was just breathtaking.”

This led to a productive conversation about our shared interest in art and culture, making our interaction much more meaningful.

So, using “That reminds me of…” can turn small talk into a memorable conversation by revealing common interests or experiences.

3) Did you know…

The phrase “Did you know…” is a great tool in the small talk arsenal. It’s a subtle way of introducing a new topic into the conversation without coming off as pushy or domineering.

For example, if the conversation is about coffee, you could say, “Did you know that Finland consumes the most coffee per capita in the world?”

This unexpected piece of trivia can pique their interest and keep the conversation flowing, perhaps leading to more discussions about travel, food, or even cultural differences.

The aim of using “Did you know…” should be to stimulate engaging conversation and not to show off your knowledge.

So always make sure the fact is relevant to the conversation and likely to be of interest to the other person.

4) I couldn’t help but notice…

An easy way to initiate small talk and keep it going is by paying a compliment or making an observation using the phrase “I couldn’t help but notice…”

This phrase can help you connect on a personal level. Maybe you noticed their unique watch, or the book they’re carrying, or even the way they handle themselves in a meeting. Bringing it up shows that you’re attentive and interested in them as individuals.

For example, “I couldn’t help but notice your backpack, it has such a unique design. Where did you get it?” Such observations can lead to a variety of topics and keep the conversation engaging.

Your comment should be genuine and not intrusive. The intention is to make the other person feel comfortable and appreciated, not uncomfortable or defensive.

5) What’s your opinion on…

Asking for someone’s opinion can be a great way to keep the conversation engaging and show that you value their thoughts. The phrase “What’s your opinion on…” can be used to steer the conversation towards topics that are currently relevant or interesting.

For example, you could ask, “What’s your opinion on the latest iPhone model?” or “What’s your opinion on the current season of ‘The Crown’?”

This not only opens up the conversation to a variety of potential topics but also allows the other person to share their thoughts and experiences.

However, it’s important to tread carefully when discussing potentially controversial topics.

It’s best to steer clear of sensitive subjects unless you’re sure that the other person is comfortable discussing them.

6) I really appreciate…

Expressing appreciation is a powerful way to connect with others. Using the phrase “I really appreciate…” can add a genuine and heartfelt touch to your conversations.

For instance, you could say, “I really appreciate the way you handled the presentation today” or “I really appreciate your insight on this matter.” This shows that you acknowledge their efforts and value their contribution.

This phrase is not only limited to work-related conversations. It can be used in any context, like appreciating someone’s sense of style or the way they tell a story.

Sincerity is key when expressing appreciation. It’s not just about saying the words; it’s about conveying genuine admiration or gratitude.

This can leave a lasting impression and make your conversations more meaningful.

7) I’ve always found it challenging to…

Opening up about our challenges or difficulties can create a deeper connection during a conversation.

Using the phrase “I’ve always found it challenging to…” shows vulnerability and invites the other person to share their own experiences.

For example, “I’ve always found it challenging to speak in front of a large audience. It’s something I’m trying to improve on.”

This not only keeps the conversation going but also shows that you’re human and have areas you’re working to grow in.

Sharing your challenges can make others feel more comfortable sharing their own, fostering a sense of mutual understanding and creating a more meaningful conversation.

8) I’m curious about…

A sense of curiosity can go a long way in keeping a conversation interesting. Using the phrase “I’m curious about…” can lead the conversation into new and interesting territories.

Maybe you’re curious about a book they’re reading, a project they’re working on, or their thoughts on an intriguing topic. Expressing this curiosity shows that you’re interested in their perspective and eager to learn more from them.

For example, “I’m curious about how you started in graphic design. What drew you to it?” This not only keeps the conversation engaging but also gives them a chance to share their passion and experiences.

Genuine curiosity encourages open and engaging conversations, making your small talk much more enjoyable and meaningful.

9) Let’s stay in touch

One key phrase that people good at small talk always use is “Let’s stay in touch”. This simple phrase neatly wraps up the conversation, leaving an open door for future interactions.

Whether it’s a casual chat at a party or a professional networking event, ending with “Let’s stay in touch” shows that you enjoyed the conversation and are interested in continuing it in the future.

It’s an essential phrase that can potentially turn small talk into meaningful connections.

Final thoughts: It’s all about connection

In essence, the art of small talk is deeply rooted in our desire for human connection. Be it a casual chat at a party or a professional conversation at a networking event, these seemingly insignificant interactions often form the foundation of meaningful relationships.

The phrases we’ve explored in this article aren’t just flippant remarks. They’re tools that can help us navigate conversations, show genuine interest in others, and ultimately connect on a deeper level.

So next time you find yourself at the precipice of small talk, remember the power of these phrases. “How’s your day going?” or “I couldn’t help but notice…” might just be the keys that unlock a new friendship, a business partnership, or simply a memorable conversation.

Because at the end of the day, it’s not just about what we say; it’s about how we make others feel. And that’s the true beauty of mastering small talk.

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