Ever been in a conversation and noticed that one person always seems to say the right thing at the right time?

Chances are, you’ve just met a genuinely kind person.

While their words may seem puzzling or too good to be true to some, the truth is that genuinely kind people have a unique way of communicating and understanding those around them.

Let’s uncover these linguistic mysteries and shine a spotlight on 12 things that people who are genuinely kind never say to others.

These are phrases that might seem common to some, but are actually unheard of in the vocabulary of our truly kind-hearted pals.

1. Judging Others

Ever noticed how some people are quick to pass judgment or make assumptions about others? Well, this is something you’ll never find genuinely kind people doing.

Kind-hearted individuals understand that everyone has their own story and their own struggles. They believe in empathy over judgment, in understanding over assumptions.

This doesn’t mean they’re naive or unaware of people’s flaws; they just choose to focus on the positive and give people the benefit of the doubt.

Whether they’re interacting with a close friend or a stranger, genuinely kind people approach others with an open mind and heart.

In conversations, they steer clear of judgmental remarks and instead, focus on understanding and empathizing.

When you’re in a conversation, pay attention to how you speak about others.

Judging or assuming things about others is not part of the vocabulary of a genuinely kind person. They strive for understanding and empathy, always.

2. Negative Comments

I remember a time when I was having a particularly challenging day. My car had broken down, I was running late for an important meeting and to top it all off, it started pouring down rain.

A colleague of mine, who is one of the kindest people I know, could have easily said, “Well, you should have left earlier,” or “Why didn’t you get your car checked out sooner?” But instead, she simply said, “That sounds really tough, can I help you with anything now?”

This is a classic trait of someone who is genuinely kind. They avoid making negative comments or pointing out mistakes in situations where people are already feeling low.

Instead, they offer understanding, empathy and if possible, a helping hand. They understand that negative comments won’t improve the situation but kindness can certainly make it easier to bear.

In that moment, my colleague’s kind words reminded me what genuine kindness looks like – it’s choosing to uplift others when they’re down rather than adding to their burden with negative comments.

3. Gossiping

Gossiping is one of those activities that genuinely kind people steer clear of.

They understand that spreading rumors or discussing someone else’s private matters is not only disrespectful but harmful. Instead, they choose to engage in positive and meaningful conversations that uplift others.

Kind-hearted individuals value trust and integrity. They believe that if someone has trusted them enough to share personal information, it’s their responsibility to protect that trust, not misuse it.

So, whether they’re in a group setting or a one-on-one conversation, genuinely kind people always refrain from gossiping. They understand the power of words and choose to use them wisely – to inspire, encourage and show empathy, never to hurt or demean others.

Next time you’re in a conversation, remember that gossip is not on the agenda for those who are genuinely kind. They choose respect and positivity over harmful chatter any day.

4. “I Told You So”

The phrase “I told you so” can be incredibly tempting to say, especially when we’ve given advice that someone chose not to take. But for genuinely kind people, these words rarely, if ever, cross their lips.

Research in the field of social psychology shows that saying “I told you so” tends to create distance and resentment, rather than serving as a useful lesson.

People who are genuinely kind understand this. They know that rubbing someone’s mistakes in their face doesn’t help the situation or nurture the relationship. Instead, it is seen as a form of gloating and can cause the other person to feel belittled or demeaned.

Instead of saying “I told you so”, kind-hearted individuals offer support or guidance, helping the other person to learn and grow from their mistakes in a positive and encouraging way.

5. Insults or Derogatory Remarks

The power of words is something genuinely kind people deeply understand. They know that words can either build or break someone. That’s why they choose their words wisely and with great caution.

Insults, derogatory remarks, or language that belittles others have no place in the vocabulary of a genuinely kind person. They know that such language can deeply hurt people and damage relationships.

Instead, they use their words to uplift, encourage, and show empathy. They understand that everyone is fighting their own battles, often hidden from view. Their words aim to lighten the load, not add to it.

When you’re in a conversation, remember: harsh words might be easily spoken but they’re not easily forgotten.

Genuinely kind people understand this and choose their words with love and respect, always.

6. “It’s All About Me”

Ever met someone who always manages to turn the conversation back to themselves? Well, this is something you’ll rarely see in people who are genuinely kind.

Kind-hearted individuals understand the importance of listening and giving others the chance to express themselves. They know that a conversation is not a monologue but a dialogue, a two-way street.

Instead of constantly talking about themselves, their achievements or their problems, genuinely kind people show genuine interest in others.

They ask questions, listen attentively, and engage in the conversation in a way that makes others feel heard and valued.

For those who are genuinely kind, it’s not all about ‘me’, it’s about ‘we’.

7. “You’re Wrong”

Disagreements are a natural part of any relationship. However, people who are genuinely kind have a unique approach when it comes to disagreements.

Instead of bluntly saying “You’re wrong”, they choose to express their differing viewpoints in a respectful and considerate manner. They understand that it’s possible to disagree without being disagreeable.

Kind-hearted individuals respect others’ perspectives and believe that everyone has a right to their own opinion. They know that asserting their viewpoint as the only correct one can be damaging and disrespectful.

So, during disagreements, genuinely kind people focus on understanding the other person’s viewpoint and explaining theirs without discounting the other person’s feelings or beliefs.

It’s not about proving who’s right or wrong but about understanding and respecting each other’s perspectives.

That’s the approach of those who are genuinely kind.

8. “You Should…”

When it comes to giving advice, people who are genuinely kind often avoid starting their sentences with “You should…”. This phrase can come across as controlling or judgmental, implying that the person they’re speaking to is incapable of making their own decisions.

Instead, they use phrases like “Have you considered…?” or “What do you think about…?”.

This way, they’re offering suggestions without imposing their own perspectives.

It’s been found in communication studies that this approach fosters a more open and equal conversation, where the other person feels valued and respected.

When sharing advice, genuinely kind people frame it as a suggestion rather than an order, respecting the autonomy and decision-making ability of the other person.

9. “That’s a stupid idea”

When I was younger, I shared a dream of mine with someone close to me and their response was, “That’s a stupid idea”. Those words stayed with me and for a time, they stopped me from pursuing that dream.

People who are genuinely kind understand the impact of their words. They know that labeling someone’s idea or dream as ‘stupid’ can be incredibly disheartening.

Instead, they foster an environment of respect and encouragement. Even if they don’t fully agree or understand, they allow space for others to express their thoughts and dreams without fear of ridicule or dismissal.

So when someone shares an idea or a dream with you, remember to respond with kindness and respect, even if you don’t fully agree or understand.

10. “You’re Not Worth It”

The most damaging phrase anyone could ever say is “You’re not worth it”. This statement can deeply hurt a person’s self-esteem and sense of self-worth.

People who are genuinely kind understand the immense harm caused by such words. They firmly believe that everyone has inherent worth and deserves to be treated with respect and kindness.

Regardless of the situation or disagreement, they never make someone feel as though they are unworthy. Instead, they affirm that every individual is valuable and deserves respect, kindness, and understanding.

So remember, no matter the situation, no one has the right to determine your worth except for you. And those who are genuinely kind will always remind you of this.