People who are genuinely exhausting to be around usually display these 7 behaviors (without realizing it)

Ava Sinclair by Ava Sinclair | December 3, 2024, 9:58 am

Have you ever spent time with someone and walked away feeling completely drained?

It’s a strange sensation.

You might not be able to pinpoint exactly why, but being around certain individuals can leave you feeling utterly exhausted.

They may not even be aware of it, but their behaviors and habits play a significant role in this.

Intriguing, right?

Well, if you’re curious about why some people seem to suck the energy out of a room (and how to spot them), buckle up.

In this article, we’re going to delve into the typical behaviors displayed by people who are genuinely exhausting to be around – often without even realizing it.

This isn’t about pointing fingers or assigning blame.

Rather, it’s about understanding the dynamics that can affect our energy and mood. Because who knows?

Recognizing these patterns might just save your next social interaction from turning into an energy-draining saga.

So, let’s dive in.

1) They’re constantly negative

You know the type.

They’re the ones who always see the glass as half empty.

The ones who can find a problem in every solution, a cloud for every silver lining.

Negativity can be contagious. When you’re around someone who is constantly focusing on the bad, it’s easy to get sucked into that mindset.

Before you know it, you too start to view the world through a pessimistic lens.

It’s emotionally draining – and it might be happening without them even realizing it.

Remember, it’s okay to express concern or worry about certain situations.

But if someone is persistently negative about everything, chances are they are one of those people who are genuinely exhausting to be around.

2) They monopolize conversations

Ever had a conversation that felt like a monologue?

I remember once catching up with a friend I hadn’t seen in a while.

I was looking forward to sharing some updates about my life, and hearing about hers.

But as soon as we sat down, she started talking.

And she didn’t stop. Not once did she pause to ask about me or show genuine interest in what I had to say.

To be honest, it felt more like an audience with a performer than a chat between friends.

By the end of our meeting, I was emotionally spent, feeling more like a sounding board than a valued friend.

People who monopolize conversations often don’t realize they’re doing it.

They may think they’re being engaging or entertaining, but what they’re actually doing is draining the energy out of their listeners.

A balanced conversation involves give and take – it’s not just about one person’s voice being heard.

3) They’re constantly comparing

Let me paint a picture for you.

Imagine being around someone who’s always sizing up the world around them.

A person who uses every conversation as an opportunity to compare – their job, their kids, their weekends, even their workouts.

At first, it may not seem like a big deal.

But over time, it starts to wear on you.

The constant comparisons make it feel like life is one big competition.

It’s as if every conversation is a race, where the finish line keeps moving further away.

I’ve been there. It’s exhausting.

It’s not about being resentful of their accomplishments or feeling insecure about your own.

It’s about the unsettling feeling that comes from being around someone who seems perpetually dissatisfied or constantly in competition.

And they probably don’t even realize they’re doing it.

But this constant comparison can turn what should be a pleasant interaction into a tiresome experience.

So if you find yourself feeling drained after spending time with someone who always seems to be measuring up, know that you’re not alone.

4) They lack empathy

Have you ever tried to share your feelings with someone, only to be met with indifference or dismissal?

We all have our moments of self-absorption.

But people who consistently lack empathy can be particularly exhausting to be around.

Empathy can be as simple as acknowledging someone’s feelings, offering a kind word, or just being there in a time of need.

But for those who lack it, your problems might seem insignificant, your joys trivial and your emotions unimportant.

Being around such people can leave you feeling unvalued and misunderstood.

It’s a draining experience, especially when you’re in need of support or understanding.

The thing is, they may not even realize their lack of empathy is pushing people away.

But recognizing this behavior is the first step towards preserving your energy and emotional well-being around such individuals.

5) They’re always in crisis mode

Picture this: a friend who seems to constantly be in the middle of a crisis. Their life appears to be a never-ending series of dramatic events, with each day bringing a new catastrophe.

Sound familiar?

You might be surprised to learn that some people are actually addicted to drama.

According to psychologists, this could be because the adrenaline rush that comes with conflict can be addictive.

It gives a sense of importance and excitement that they may struggle to find elsewhere.

But for those on the receiving end, it’s a different story.

Being around someone who’s always in crisis mode can be mentally and emotionally draining.

It’s like being on a rollercoaster that never stops, constantly dealing with highs and lows.

The real kicker here is, they probably have no idea their constant state of chaos is exhausting those around them.

But now that you know this, you can better understand and navigate these energy-sapping situations.

6) They can’t let go of past issues

We’ve all been wronged at some point. It’s part of life.

But imagine being around someone who constantly brings up past issues – that disagreement from last year, the slight from a decade ago, the misunderstanding from yesterday.

It’s understandable to need time to recover from hurtful events.

Yet, it becomes draining when someone repeatedly drags the past into the present, unable to let go and move forward.

It’s like walking through a minefield – you never know when a casual conversation might trigger an explosion of past grievances.

Sadly, these individuals might not even realize how their inability to forgive and move on affects those around them.

It’s a tough situation, but remember: everyone is carrying their own baggage.

The best we can do is offer patience and understanding while setting boundaries for our own wellbeing.

7) They don’t respect boundaries

At the heart of every healthy relationship lies mutual respect, especially for personal boundaries.

But what happens when someone constantly oversteps?

Whether it’s making demands on your time, dismissing your feelings, or simply not taking ‘no’ for an answer, boundary violations can leave you feeling disrespected and drained.

It can feel like you’re in a tug-of-war, constantly battling to maintain your personal space and peace.

What’s ironic is that these individuals might not even realize they’re crossing lines.

But their lack of awareness doesn’t negate the impact of their actions.

So remember, it’s crucial to establish and maintain your boundaries.

It’s not just about preserving your energy – it’s about protecting your self-respect.

Wrapping up

If you’ve been nodding along to these points, chances are you’ve encountered someone who’s genuinely exhausting to be around.

That’s okay. It’s part of life.

But remember, understanding these behaviors is not about placing blame or labeling people. It’s about awareness.

It’s about recognizing the energy dynamics in your relationships so you can navigate them more effectively.

We all have habits that might unknowingly drain others.

The key is to remain open and willing to reflect on our own behaviors.

Ask yourself – do any of these traits sound familiar? Are there areas where you could improve?

It may take time and patience, but awareness is the first step towards meaningful change. And as we understand better, we do better.

So, as you step forward from this read, carry this insight with you.

Use it as a tool for self-improvement, or as a compass in your interactions with others.