There’s a fine line between being assertive and being genuinely difficult to be around.

The difference often boils down to awareness. Those who are genuinely difficult may not even realize the impact of their behavior on others.

Being around such people can be draining, even if they’re completely oblivious to their own actions.

The telltale signs of such individuals can be spotted in certain behaviors. And it’s important to identify these cues early on for the sake of your own mental peace.

In this article, we’ll explore the 8 behaviors often exhibited by people who are genuinely difficult to be around, without them realizing it. 

Let’s get started. 

1) Constantly critical

Most of us know someone like this in our lives.

These are the people who always seem to find fault with everything and everyone. And it can be incredibly taxing being around them.

What they don’t realize is that their constant negativity can make them genuinely difficult to be around.

Being critical isn’t inherently bad. It can often lead to improvements and positive change. But when it becomes a person’s default setting, it’s a different story altogether.

People who are perpetually critical often create a negative environment, even if they believe they’re just being ‘honest’ or ‘realistic’.

The truth is, constant criticism can be draining and demoralizing for those on the receiving end.

This behavior is one of the key signs of someone who might not even realize the impact they’re having on those around them. 

2) Overbearing

We’ve all crossed paths with someone who tends to dominate every interaction.

I remember a former colleague who would always steer conversations back to himself, regardless of the topic at hand. It was as if he was the only person in the room with an opinion that mattered.

This behavior didn’t just extend to conversations. He would often impose his way of doing things on others, even when it was clear that there were better or more efficient methods available.

The issue with such overbearing behavior is that it leaves little space for others to voice their thoughts, ideas, or feelings. This can stifle creativity and breed resentment in any setting, be it at work or in personal relationships.

People who exhibit this behavior often don’t realize they’re doing it. They might see themselves as ‘take charge’ types or believe they’re helping by providing ‘guidance’.

But in reality, their constant need to control and dominate can make them genuinely difficult to be around.

3) Neglecting boundaries

In any type of relationship, respecting personal space and boundaries is crucial. But some people seem to have a hard time grasping this concept.

Whether it’s constantly barraging you with text messages at odd hours, showing up uninvited or oversharing personal details, these actions can quickly become uncomfortable.

Not respecting someone’s boundaries is a sign of disregard for their comfort and privacy. In fact, researchers have found that people who constantly invade others’ personal space often struggle with understanding and interpreting social cues.

While they may not realize how off-putting this behavior can be, the lack of respect for personal boundaries makes them genuinely difficult to be around. It’s essential to communicate your boundaries clearly and assertively with such individuals.

4) Lack of empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s a key component in forming meaningful connections and relationships.

However, some people struggle with this. They fail to recognize or appreciate the feelings and perspectives of others. This lack of empathy can make their interactions seem cold, self-centered, and dismissive.

They might interrupt you when you’re speaking, dismiss your feelings, or fail to show understanding when you’re going through a tough time.

While they may not realize how their lack of empathy affects those around them, it makes them genuinely difficult to be around because it devalues the experiences and emotions of others.

Remember, a little empathy goes a long way in making interactions more enjoyable and meaningful for everyone involved.

5) Always playing the victim

Life can be tough, and we all face difficulties from time to time. However, some people always seem to be caught in a cycle of misfortune and hardship.

They often paint themselves as the victim, no matter the situation. Every conversation seems to revolve around their problems, leaving little to no room for anyone else’s input or concerns.

What’s even more heartbreaking is that they may not realize they’re stuck in this victim mentality. They might genuinely believe that the world is against them and that they have the worst luck.

This behavior can make them genuinely difficult to be around, as their constant negativity and self-pity can cast a heavy mood over any gathering or conversation.

It’s important to remember that while we can empathize with their struggles, we must also protect our own emotional wellbeing. Supporting someone doesn’t mean absorbing their negative energy.

6) Inflexibility

Change is a part of life. However, some people find it almost impossible to adapt or adjust their ways, no matter how beneficial the change might be.

I recall a friend who would always insist on following her routines to the letter. Any deviation from her planned schedule would cause her immense stress, which would inevitably spill over onto those around her.

Even when changes were necessary or had clear advantages, she was rigid in her ways. This inflexibility made it challenging to plan activities or outings with her, as everything had to be on her terms.

While she may not have been aware of the strain this put on our relationship, this lack of flexibility made her genuinely difficult to be around.

Adaptability is a valuable trait, helping us navigate life’s unexpected turns and fostering better relationships with those around us.

7) Excessive negativity

Negativity is contagious. It can quickly drain the energy from a room and make interactions unpleasant.

We all have our off days, but some people seem to be perpetually stuck in a cloud of negativity. They constantly complain, worry, or see the worst in every situation.

This constant stream of negativity can make them genuinely difficult to be around. It’s like an energy vampire, sucking the positivity and enthusiasm out of any conversation or gathering.

While they may not realize how their negative outlook affects others, it’s essential to maintain your own positivity and not let their pessimism bring you down.

It’s okay to distance yourself from chronic negativity for the sake of your own mental wellbeing.

8) Disregard for others’ feelings

At the core of most social interactions is respect for one another’s feelings. This includes acknowledging and considering the emotional impact of our words and actions.

However, some people might consistently disregard the feelings of others. They might make hurtful comments, ignore the needs of others, or trivialize others’ emotions.

This behavior is not only disrespectful but can also inflict emotional harm. It makes them genuinely difficult to be around as it creates an environment where others feel unheard and unvalued.

The key takeaway here is that everyone deserves to be treated with kindness and respect. No matter how someone behaves, always remember to treat others the way you wish to be treated.

Conclusion: It’s about empathy

The intricacies of human behavior are complex and deeply influenced by our individual experiences, personalities, and yes, even our biochemistry.

Consider the hormone oxytocin, often dubbed the “love hormone”. It plays a crucial role in social bonding, empathy, and forming emotional connections with others.

People who exhibit behaviors that make them difficult to be around may be struggling with their own issues or may lack awareness of their actions.

Some might even be dealing with low levels of oxytocin or other biochemical imbalances that affect their ability to relate to others empathetically.

Understanding this doesn’t excuse their behavior, but it can help us approach such situations with more compassion and patience.

At the end of the day, human interactions are a two-way street. And while we can’t control others’ behavior, we can control our reactions to them.

So next time you find yourself around someone who’s genuinely difficult to be around, remember: it’s not a reflection of you, but them. And sometimes, the best thing we can do is extend a bit of empathy – because we never truly know what someone else is going through.