People who are friendly on the surface but two-faced deep down usually display these 10 behaviors

Eliza Hartley by Eliza Hartley | July 1, 2024, 5:43 pm

Navigating the waters of human interaction can be tricky.

Some people are as genuine as they come, while others might wear a friendly mask, but harbor less than honest intentions.

These are the two-faced individuals with personality that is more deceptive than we’d like to believe.

They are those who seem warm and welcoming on the surface, but are vastly different behind closed doors.

So how can you tell if someone is genuinely amiable or just putting on a façade to mask their two-faced nature?

Recognizing these people isn’t always simple, but they often display certain behaviors that can serve as red flags.

After countless experiences dealing with people and observing the behavior of individuals in my circle, I’ve compiled a list of 10 behaviors that such individuals usually display.

This is all about helping you decipher the actions of those around you and spot the wolves in sheep’s clothing.

Let’s dive in.

1) They have inconsistent behavior

In the realm of human interactions, consistency is key.

It’s one of the easiest ways to gauge a person’s character.

Those who are two-faced often display inconsistent behavior.

They may be all smiles and charm one moment, but cold and distant the next.

 This inconsistency can leave you feeling confused and unsure about where you stand with them.

Their behavior can change depending on their mood, the situation, or who else is present.

This inconsistency doesn’t just apply to their demeanor, either. It can also be seen in their actions.

They might make promises they don’t keep or say one thing and do another.

This unpredictable behavior is a clear sign of someone who is not being genuine with you.

It’s a red flag that they may be hiding their true intentions behind a friendly facade.

So, if you notice someone in your life displaying erratic behavior, it could be a sign that they aren’t as they appear on the surface.

Keep an eye out for this pattern, take a closer look at their intentions  and proceed with caution.

2) They’re overly complimentary

Let me share a personal example with you. I once had a friend who was always generously doling out compliments.

At first, I was flattered. Who doesn’t like to hear nice things about themselves, right?

However, over time, I started to notice a pattern.

The compliments seemed to flow most freely when she wanted something from me.

It was like she was buttering me up, making me feel good about myself so that I would be more willing to do what she wanted.

And when she didn’t need anything? The compliments would suddenly dry up.

She was using flattery as a tool for manipulation rather than a genuine expression of admiration or respect.

So remember, while it’s nice to receive compliments, if someone is constantly flattering you and it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

It could be a sign that they’re not as sincere as they appear on the surface.

3) They’re always playing the victim

Interestingly, those who are two-faced often have a knack for casting themselves in the role of the victim.

They seem to always have a sob story or an excuse at the ready.

It’s a common psychological tactic, designed to elicit sympathy and deflect blame.

By painting themselves as the victim, they can avoid taking responsibility for their actions and manipulate others into feeling sorry for them.

This constant victim mentality can be draining and it’s a clear sign that something is amiss.

Genuine individuals tend to accept responsibility when they’ve done something wrong, rather than playing the victim to gain sympathy or advantage.

So if someone always seems to be at the mercy of circumstances, consider it a red flag.

4) They thrive on gossip

Another red flag that can signal a two-faced personality is a love for gossip.

They have a tendency to talk about others behind their backs.

They thrive on spreading rumors and sharing confidential information about others.

They will engage you in gossip, making you feel like you’re part of an exclusive circle.

But remember, if they’re willing to share someone else’s secrets with you, they’re just as likely to share yours with others.

This behavior is a way for them to manipulate relationships and maintain an illusion of closeness, which can be particularly harmful.

Not only does it breach trust, but it also creates unnecessary drama and conflict.

 So if you notice someone frequently indulging in gossip, it might be a sign of their true character.

You might want to reconsider how much you share with them.

If they are willing to gossip with you, they’re probably just as willing to gossip about you.

It’s always wise to avoid getting swept up in the gossip mill.

After all, true friendships are built on trust and respect, not hearsay and rumors.

5) They crave attention

Another common trait of two-faced people is a constant need for attention.

Whether it’s trying to be the life of the party, constantly posting about their life on social media, or always steering the conversation back to themselves, these individuals seem to always want to be in the spotlight.

This excessive need for attention can be draining for those around them.

It can also indicate a lack of genuine interest in others.

After all, if someone is constantly seeking attention, they aren’t likely to be as attentive or considerate to those around them.

Remember, a true friend is someone who listens and shows interest in you, not just someone who uses you as an audience for their performance.

If someone seems overly focused on gaining attention, it might be time to reevaluate that relationship.

6) They struggle with genuine empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s a cornerstone of meaningful, genuine relationships.

Interestingly, two-faced individuals often have a hard time exhibiting genuine empathy.

Their empathy often comes across as insincere or hollow

They may appear friendly and supportive on the surface, but beneath that, they may be indifferent or dismissive of your feelings.

This is because their primary focus is usually on their own interests and not the feelings or wellbeing of others.

Their lack of genuine empathy doesn’t mean they can’t pretend to show it, but it does mean their emotional responses might feel a bit off.

This lack of empathy can manifest in many ways.

They might trivialize your problems, ignore your feelings, or even exploit your vulnerabilities for their benefit.

If you sense this insincerity, it could be a sign of deeper duplicity.

7) They disappear when you need them

I learned a valuable lesson a few years ago when I went through a difficult time.

A friend who had always been there for the good times suddenly became distant when things got tough.

She was always around for the fun and games, but when I needed support, she was nowhere to be found.

It was like she vanished whenever things became challenging or required emotional effort.

This experience taught me that two-faced people often aren’t there for you when you need them the most.

They’re happy to share in your success and joy, but they’re quick to disappear when things get tough.

True friendship isn’t just about being there for the good times, but also standing by each other during the hard times.

If someone is only around for the highs and disappears during the lows, it might be time to question their sincerity.

8) They are overly friendly and charming

Now, this might seem counterintuitive, but people who are two-faced often come across as exceedingly friendly and charming.

This is a classic trait of such individuals.

They’ll charm you with their charisma, making you feel special and appreciated.

But this overly friendly demeanor is usually a mask, a way to win your trust and make you lower your guard.

The charm offensive is a tactic used to distract you from their true intentions.

If someone’s friendliness feels forced or excessive, it could be an indication of their two-faced nature.

9) They’re never at fault

One of the most revealing behaviors of a two-faced person is their inability to accept responsibility for their actions.

They have a knack for twisting situations around, ensuring they come out smelling like roses while others are left holding the blame.

It’s a raw display of their true character, their refusal to own up to mistakes or accept any fault.

In their world, they’re always the victim, never the perpetrator.

If you notice this tendency in someone, it’s likely they’re showing you a friendly face while hiding another.

10) They show a different face to different people

The most telling sign of a two-faced person is their ability to show different faces to different people.

One moment they might be acting friendly with you, and the next they’re acting completely different with someone else.

This kind of behavior can be quite confusing and hurtful.

It’s like you never really know who you’re dealing with, because they’re always changing depending on who they’re interacting with.

Remember, authenticity is key in any relationship.

If someone is constantly changing their behavior based on who they’re around, it’s a strong sign that they’re not being genuine.

You deserve to be around people who are true to themselves and to others, so don’t settle for anything less.

Understanding the two-faced personality

While it’s essential to recognize the signs of a two-faced personality, it’s equally important to understand why people might adopt this behavior.

Remember, not everyone who shows these behaviors is intentionally malicious or insincere.

Sometimes, these traits can stem from deep-rooted insecurities or a constant need for validation and approval from others.

People who are two-faced often struggle with their self-esteem.

The façade they present to the world is a defense mechanism, a way to protect themselves from rejection or criticism.

They may feel that by appearing agreeable and friendly, they’ll be more liked and accepted.

Their behavior could also be a result of past experiences.

Maybe they’ve learned that being two-faced gets them what they want – whether that’s popularity, praise, or power.

However, while understanding these motivations can help foster empathy, it doesn’t excuse their behavior.

It’s crucial to remember that genuine connections are built on trust, honesty, and respect – all things that are severely lacking in a two-faced individual.

If you recognize these behaviors in someone you know, it might be time to reconsider the relationship.

It’s not your responsibility to change them – and often, trying to do so can lead to more harm than good.

Instead, focus on protecting yourself and fostering relationships with people who show you their true selves, warts and all.

Recognizing a two-faced personality can be challenging.

Still, armed with this knowledge and understanding, you’re better equipped to navigate your relationships and discern genuine friends from those who wear a mask.

As we journey through life, let’s strive to surround ourselves with those who respect us for who we are, rather than those who pretend to be something they’re not.

Everyone deserves relationships that are rooted in authenticity and mutual respect.

Don’t settle for anything less.