People who are excellent at networking often use these 7 conversation starters

Ethan Sterling by Ethan Sterling | August 6, 2024, 4:48 am

We’ve all been there. You’re at a networking event, clutching your drink, scanning the room and wondering, “How on earth do I start a conversation with these strangers?”

Let me let you in on a secret.

The art of starting engaging conversations isn’t exclusive to the charisma-blessed extroverts.

It’s actually more about the quality of your conversation starters than your personality type.

Yes, you heard it right.

People who are excellent at networking often use carefully crafted conversation starters that pique interest and foster meaningful connections.

But before we dive in, let’s clear something up.

This isn’t about memorizing canned lines or trying to be someone you’re not.

It’s about understanding how to spark connections that feel authentic and mutually beneficial.

Intrigued? Well, stick around.

We’ll explore 7 fantastic conversation starters that networking pros often use to break the ice and keep the dialogue flowing.

1) Open-ended questions

The art of networking starts with the ability to engage others in a conversation, and there’s no better way to do that than with open-ended questions.

Effective networkers understand the power of curiosity.

They don’t just blurt out what they think or want.

Instead, they start with questions that invite others to share, creating a space for dialogue rather than a one-sided conversation.

An open-ended question invites the other person to express their thoughts, opinions, or feelings.

It’s not just getting an answer; it’s initiating a meaningful exchange and making the other person feel valued.

Next time you’re at a networking event, skip the usual “What do you do?” and try something more engaging, like “What’s the most exciting project you’ve worked on recently?” or “What brought you here today?”

Carl Rogers, the famous psychologist, once noted, “The greatest gift you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.”

This begins with showing genuine interest in their stories and experiences.

2) Sharing a personal anecdote

Another tactic I’ve found incredibly effective in sparking engaging conversations is sharing a personal anecdote or story.

I’ll tell you about a time when this approach really paid off for me.

I was at a conference, and during a break, I found myself standing next to the keynote speaker.

Rather than leading with the usual “Great talk!” or asking what he does (which was pretty obvious), I decided to share a personal story related to his talk’s topic.

I said, “Your talk on the power of storytelling in business really resonated with me. Just last month, I shared a personal story during a pitch, and it completely changed the dynamic of the meeting.”

He immediately became engaged and asked me to share more about that experience.

This simple anecdote not only broke the ice but also opened up a deeper, more meaningful conversation.

It helped us form a connection that went beyond the usual surface-level chat that’s all too common at these types of events.

Personal anecdotes are powerful because they show vulnerability and authenticity – two key ingredients in building real connections.

Networking isn’t about impressing others; it’s about forming meaningful human connections.

3) Showing genuine interest

Here’s a piece of advice that has always served me well: Be interested, not just interesting.

It’s easy to get caught up in the pressure to impress at networking events, but remember, a conversation is a two-way street.

Take a genuine interest in the people you’re talking to.

Ask about their day, their interests, their challenges. Listen actively to their responses and engage with them on a deeper level.

For example, if someone mentions they’ve recently taken up gardening, don’t just nod and move on.

Ask them what they enjoy about it, what they’re growing, or if they have any tips for beginners.

Showing genuine interest makes the other person feel valued and helps you form a more meaningful connection.

And trust me, people will remember how you made them feel long after they’ve forgotten what you said.

4) Finding common ground

Finding common ground creates familiarity and comfort, helping to build strong connections.

Think about it this way: When you discover something in common with someone, it becomes easier to establish rapport and foster deeper understanding.

For example, at a business event, you might meet someone who also loves hiking.

Using that shared interest as a conversation starter can instantly break down barriers and make the other person more open and receptive.

You could say, “I just got back from a fantastic hike in the Rockies. Do you have any favorite trails or hiking adventures to share?”

By finding common ground, you’re not just making small talk; you’re building bridges and forging connections.

5) Using the power of names

Have you ever noticed how good it feels when someone remembers and uses your name in a conversation? It’s not just a coincidence.

Dale Carnegie, the author of “How to Win Friends and Influence People”, noted that, “A person’s name is to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”

And he was onto something.

Using a person’s name in conversation can make them feel more valued and connected to you.

It demonstrates respect and attention to detail, two qualities that are highly appreciated in any interaction.

Make it a priority to remember and use people’s names.

This small gesture can greatly boost your networking effectiveness.

6) Using the power of positive affirmation

Affirming someone’s thoughts, feelings, or experiences validates them while boosting their confidence and self-esteem, fostering an atmosphere of positivity and trust that enhances your connection.

Simple phrases like, “That’s a fantastic idea!” or “Your perspective is really refreshing,” can establish rapport by showing appreciation for their thoughts and contributions, making them feel valued and respected.

When people feel good about themselves in your company, they’re more likely to remember you and view the interaction positively.

This is crucial in networking, where building solid, positive relationships is the ultimate goal.

Abraham Maslow highlights that “In any given moment, we have two options: to step forward into growth or step back into safety.”

Offering positive affirmation helps people choose growth, leading to more engaging and productive conversations.

7) Offering a genuine compliment

A genuine compliment can serve as an excellent conversation starter.

It quickly breaks the ice, brings a smile to the person’s face, and sets a positive tone for the dialogue.

To make compliments effective, focus on sincerity and specificity.

Rather than offering generic praise like “Nice job,” opt for something more personalized, such as, “Your presentation was really insightful; I appreciated how you simplified complex ideas.”

Compliments do more than just make the other person feel good; they show that you’ve recognized their strengths, efforts, or achievements.

This can make your interaction memorable and lay a strong foundation for further conversation.

Your compliment should always be relevant and genuine.

Excessive flattery can seem insincere and may undermine the connection you’re aiming to build.

Final thoughts

If you’ve made it this far, you’re already well on your way to becoming an excellent networker.

But keep in mind, these conversation starters are just the beginning.

True networking is about building genuine relationships, not just collecting business cards.

As you head into your next networking event or social gathering, keep these strategies in mind. More importantly, be yourself.

Show genuine interest, listen closely, and share a bit of your own story.

Every person you meet brings a unique perspective.

By engaging in meaningful conversation, you get a glimpse into their world, even if just for a moment.

So take these conversation starters and venture forth.

A world of connections awaits you, and the next conversation you initiate could spark a lifelong friendship or a career-defining opportunity.

The key is to start the conversation. The rest will follow.