People who are emotionally draining to be around usually have these 10 traits

Lucas Graham by Lucas Graham | September 2, 2024, 7:09 pm

We all have people in our lives who seem to suck the energy right out of us. They leave us feeling exhausted, stressed, or even upset.

These are people who are emotionally draining. They often share certain traits that make them so exhausting to be around.

I’m about to dive into the 10 common traits of emotionally draining people. By recognizing these traits, you’ll be better equipped to manage your interactions with them.

1) They’re often negative

Ever noticed that some people always seem to see the glass as half empty?

These folks have a knack for spotting the downside in any situation. They’ll dwell on problems, focus on faults, and constantly predict doom and gloom.

This negativity can be incredibly draining. It saps your energy, brings down your mood, and can even start to color your own outlook.

Spending time with these negative individuals often leaves you feeling depleted, not uplifted.

And guess what? This is a key trait of emotionally draining people. They lean heavily into negativity, often dragging others down with them.

2) They’re overly dependent

We all know someone who seems to need constant hand-holding, right?

I have a friend, let’s call him Mark. Mark is someone who would constantly lean on me for every little thing.

Whether it was asking for advice on every decision he had to make, or expecting me to solve his problems, he was always looking for reassurance.

This dependence extended to emotional support as well. If he had a bad day, he’d expect me to drop everything and be there for him.

His reliance on me was neither healthy nor sustainable. It left me feeling drained and stressed because I felt responsible for his well-being.

3) They’re masters of guilt trips

Emotionally draining people have a knack for making you feel guilty, even when you’ve done nothing wrong. It’s almost like they’ve studied the art of guilt tripping.

Interestingly, according to psychology, individuals who often use guilt trips tend to have a heightened sense of their own guilt.

These guilt inducers have an uncanny ability to make others feel responsible for their happiness or misery.

If you find yourself feeling guilty after interactions with certain individuals, it might be time to reassess those relationships.

4) They’re constantly complaining

Some people just can’t seem to stop complaining. No matter how small or insignificant the issue, they’ll find a way to grumble about it.

These constant complainers are often emotionally draining to be around. Their relentless negativity and dissatisfaction can easily bring down your mood and energy levels.

If you find that your interactions with someone are dominated by their complaints, it’s a clear sign that they could be an emotional drain.

Remember, it’s okay to distance yourself from chronic complainers for the sake of your own wellbeing.

5) They lack empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s a vital component of healthy, balanced relationships.

Sadly, emotionally draining people often lack this key trait. Instead of understanding and acknowledging your feelings, they might dismiss them or make everything about themselves.

This lack of empathy can leave you feeling unheard and invalidated. It’s a clear sign that you’re dealing with someone who could be emotionally draining.

6) They’re usually self-centered

Some people appear to live in their own world, where everything revolves around them. They talk about themselves, focus on their issues, and struggle to show genuine interest in others.

This self-centeredness can be heartbreaking. It can make you feel unseen, like your thoughts, feelings and experiences don’t matter.

This is a common trait of emotionally draining people. They tend to be absorbed with their own lives, often neglecting the needs and feelings of those around them.

Let it sink in: a balanced relationship involves give and take, where both parties are equally valued and heard. You deserve to be in relationships where you are seen, heard, and appreciated.

7) They’re unpredictable

One moment, they’re your best friend, and the next, they’re giving you the cold shoulder. You never know what to expect.

I once had a colleague who was like this. Our interactions were a roller coaster – super friendly one day, aloof and distant the next. It was hard to understand what I did wrong or what was going on in her mind.

This unpredictability can be emotionally draining. You’re constantly on edge, unsure of where you stand. This kind of inconsistency in behavior is a clear sign of someone who can be challenging to be around.

8) They’re often charming

Surprisingly, many emotionally draining people can be quite charming.

They are often charismatic, engaging, and know exactly what to say to draw you in.

But as time goes on, you might start to notice that their charm is a facade, hiding an inability to genuinely connect and empathize with others.

It’s a mask they wear to keep people engaged while they focus on their own needs and desires. So don’t let the charm fool you. 

9) They’re rarely satisfied

No matter what they have or achieve, some people are never truly satisfied. They always want more, better, faster.

These individuals are continually chasing the next big thing, never stopping to appreciate what they already have. This constant dissatisfaction can be a heavy burden for those around them.

If you find yourself feeling exhausted trying to keep up with someone’s endless wants and needs, it might be a sign that they’re emotionally draining. 

10) They don’t respect boundaries

At the heart of all healthy relationships lies respect for personal boundaries. But emotionally draining people often disregard these boundaries.

Whether it’s demanding your time, invading your personal space, or ignoring your needs, their lack of respect for boundaries can leave you feeling overwhelmed and disrespected.

Recognizing this trait is crucial. It’s a significant sign of someone who can be emotionally draining. Always remember, your boundaries are important, and you have every right to enforce them.

Ultimately, it’s about self-love

Dealing with emotionally draining individuals can take a toll on your well-being.

If you can’t run away from them, make a point to set boundaries and prioritize self-care. Keep in mind that you’re not responsible for fixing or catering to their constant needs.

Practice assertiveness and communicate your limits firmly but compassionately. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who uplift and recharge you.

Seek outlets for stress relief, whether it’s through hobbies, exercise, or therapy. Remember that it’s okay to prioritize your own mental and emotional health.

Ultimately, know when it’s necessary to distance yourself from toxic relationships for your own sake. Your well-being matters.