There’s quite a difference between being influenced by someone and being manipulated by them.

The distinction lies in awareness. When you’re manipulated, it’s often a stealthy process, with the manipulator disguising their real agenda.

Unfortunately, not everyone can spot the signs of manipulation, especially when they’re the ones being controlled. In these situations, certain behaviors unknowingly make you an easy target for manipulation.

In my years of exploring the complexities of human relationships on Love Connection, I’ve identified some common behaviors that make people susceptible to manipulation. And it’s important to understand these behaviors, so you can avoid falling into the manipulation trap.

So let’s talk about these behaviors that often make people easy prey for manipulators.

1) Lack of assertiveness

There’s a common misconception that being assertive is synonymous with being aggressive. That’s not true. Assertiveness is about expressing your thoughts and feelings while respecting the rights and beliefs of others.

However, many people struggle with asserting themselves, especially when faced with a strong personality. This lack of assertiveness can make you an easy target for manipulation.

Take, for example, a situation where you’re asked to take on additional work at your job. If you’re unable to assert your boundaries and express that you’re already overloaded, you may end up taking the extra work, despite it being detrimental to your work-life balance.

Manipulators often exploit this weakness, pushing their desires onto those who struggle to speak up for themselves.

Being aware of this behavior can help you see when you’re being manipulated and ultimately learn to assert yourself effectively. But remember, it takes practice to improve your assertiveness skills and avoid falling into the manipulation trap.

2) Over-empathizing

Empathy is a wonderful quality. It helps us connect with others, understand their feelings, and foster meaningful relationships. However, too much of anything can be harmful – and this includes empathy.

Over-empathizing can lead you to prioritize other people’s feelings and issues over your own. This self-sacrificing behavior is counterintuitive because while it may seem noble, it can make you more susceptible to manipulation.

Manipulators are often skilled at playing the victim card. They appeal to your empathic nature, making you feel guilty or responsible for their problems. And before you know it, you’re bending over backward to help them, often at your own expense.

It’s important to balance empathy with self-preservation. Helping others should never come at the cost of neglecting your own needs and boundaries. Recognizing this behavior in yourself is the first step towards resisting manipulation.

3) Difficulty in recognizing manipulative behavior

It might seem odd, but recognizing manipulation isn’t as easy as it sounds. Manipulative behavior can be subtle, often disguised under the veil of kindness, concern, or love. And when it’s coming from someone you trust or care about, it can be even harder to discern.

I’ve seen this happen time and time again in the relationships I’ve studied. Someone in a relationship may feel something is off but can’t quite put their finger on what it is. They might sense a power imbalance or feel emotionally drained but can’t articulate why.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve into this issue and provide practical advice on how to spot and address manipulative behavior.

Understanding these subtle signs is crucial. Recognizing when you’re being manipulated gives you the power to make decisions that serve your best interests.

4) Living in denial

This might be hard to hear, but living in denial can make you susceptible to manipulation. It’s often easier to turn a blind eye to manipulative behavior than confront it head-on.

After all, acknowledging manipulation would mean admitting that someone you trust or love is taking advantage of you, which can be a bitter pill to swallow. But as the old saying goes, “the first step towards solving a problem is recognizing there is one.”

I remember a time when I saw this play out with a friend. Despite clear signs of manipulation, she chose to believe that her partner was acting out of love. It was only when she recognized and accepted the truth that she could start making changes.

As Winston Churchill wisely said, “The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is.” Accepting reality – however unpleasant – empowers you to take action and protect yourself from manipulative tactics.

5) Low self-esteem

Believe it or not, how you view yourself plays a huge role in how others treat you. If you have low self-esteem, you’re more likely to tolerate disrespectful and manipulative behavior from others.

I’ve noticed in my interactions with others that people with low self-esteem often feel they don’t deserve better. They feel lucky to have any attention at all, which can make them easy targets for manipulation.

I recall an instance when I was counseling a woman who was stuck in a toxic relationship. She felt she didn’t deserve better because of past mistakes. It took a lot of self-reflection and courage for her to realize that she deserved respect and kindness, regardless of her past.

Remember, your self-worth should never be tied to how someone else treats you. Knowing your value is the first step in ensuring others treat you with the respect you deserve.

6) Fear of confrontation

Confrontation can be daunting. It can lead to conflict, and who likes conflict? The fear of confrontation can often lead people to put up with manipulative behavior simply because they want to avoid an uncomfortable situation.

I remember a time when I used to dread confrontation. I would let things slide to keep the peace, allowing others to take advantage of my unwillingness to stand up for myself. It wasn’t until I realized that healthy confrontation is necessary for growth that I started to change.

As Eleanor Roosevelt wisely said, “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”

If you identify with this, it’s time to challenge your fear. Stand up for yourself when something doesn’t feel right. Remember, it’s okay to say no, and it’s okay to disagree.

For more insights on understanding and navigating relationships, follow me on Facebook. Here you’ll find my latest articles and tips on how to foster healthier relationships.

7) Ignoring your intuition

We all have a gut feeling, an inner voice that whispers to us when something is amiss. But how often do we listen to it?

Unfortunately, many of us tend to ignore our intuition, especially when it’s telling us something we don’t want to hear. It’s easier to suppress that nagging feeling than to face the harsh reality that someone we care for might be manipulating us.

But let’s be honest – your intuition is usually right. It’s an instinctive response that protects you from harm. When you constantly find reasons to justify someone’s behavior or make excuses for them, it’s a sign that you’re ignoring your intuition.

Listening to your gut might lead you to uncomfortable truths, but acknowledging these truths can free you from the chains of manipulation. It’s time to trust yourself more.

Understanding the manipulator’s game

When we delve into the world of manipulation, it can feel like we’re stepping into a minefield. But the truth is, understanding these behaviors and patterns is the first step in protecting ourselves.

As we’ve explored these behaviors, you might recognize yourself in some of them. It’s important to remember that none of us are immune to manipulation. But by being aware of our vulnerabilities, we can arm ourselves against those who might seek to exploit them.

Remember, the power to change lies within you. As you grow and learn, you’re becoming more equipped to navigate the complexities of human relationships. It might be a challenging journey, but it’s one that leads to healthier and more fulfilling relationships.

In my journey as a relationship expert, I’ve seen countless individuals overcome manipulation and grow stronger from their experiences. I believe you can do the same.

To explore this topic further, I recommend watching this insightful video by Justin Brown where he explains “the illusion of happiness” and why chasing it makes you miserable.

This video resonates well with our discussion as it challenges the common belief that pursuing happiness is the key to a fulfilling life. In reality, true contentment comes from within, by embracing life’s challenges, fostering meaningful relationships, and staying true to oneself.

Dont’ forget, knowledge is power. The more you understand about manipulation and its effects, the better equipped you will be to protect yourself and foster healthier relationships.