Ever wonder why some interactions feel more challenging than others, or why certain people seem to rub others the wrong way without realizing it?

It’s not always as clear-cut as someone being outright difficult; sometimes, it’s the subtle behaviors that set the tone.

In this article, we’re uncovering eight behaviors that might indicate someone is tough to get along with—even if they don’t see it themselves.

Let’s dive in with the first point:

1) Neglecting to listen

One of the most common traits of people who are difficult to get along with is their lack of listening skills.

We all value being heard.

It’s a basic human need. But these individuals often dominate conversations, leaving little room for others to contribute.

They’re so focused on their own thoughts and opinions, they fail to recognize that communication is a two-way street.

This isn’t always intentional, and they may not even realize they’re doing it.

But this habit can make conversations with them feel frustrating or draining for others.

Improving listening skills isn’t just about being quiet when someone else is speaking.

It’s about truly understanding and considering what the other person is saying.

2) Being overly critical

Another behavior that can make someone difficult to get along with is constant criticism.

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve been guilty of this in the past.

I remember once, a colleague of mine had just finished a presentation. Instead of acknowledging the effort he’d put in, my first instinct was to point out all the areas where he could improve.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but my constant criticism wasn’t helpful; it was demoralizing.

Being overly critical can come off as negative and harsh, even if your intentions are good.

It’s important to remember that everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses.

Offering constructive feedback is one thing, but constant criticism can quickly become draining and discouraging for those on the receiving end.

So take it from me: before you criticize, think about how you’d feel if you were in their shoes.

A little empathy can go a long way in improving relationships.

3) Lack of empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others.

It’s a vital part of human connection and is what allows us to build strong, meaningful relationships.

Interestingly, research has found that people who were perceived as difficult to get along with often showed lower levels of empathy.

This isn’t to say they’re incapable of empathy.

Rather, they may struggle to put themselves in someone else’s shoes or might not take the time to try.

This can make interactions with them feel one-sided and unsatisfying.

Learning to empathize with others can make a significant difference in how we connect with those around us.

It can help us understand different perspectives, strengthen our relationships, and even make us better problem-solvers.

So, it’s definitely a skill worth developing.

4) Inflexibility

We’ve all heard the saying, “It’s my way or the highway.” Unfortunately, some people live by this mantra a little too seriously.

Inflexibility is another behavior displayed by those who can be difficult to get along with.

These individuals often struggle with compromise and insist on doing things their way, regardless of others’ suggestions or feelings.

This can be particularly frustrating in team settings where collaboration and compromise are key.

It’s important to remember that flexibility doesn’t mean being a pushover.

Instead, it’s about being open to new ideas and willing to adjust your plans when needed.

In doing so, not only will you be easier to get along with, but you’ll also be more likely to learn and grow from the experiences and perspectives of others.

5) Ignoring personal boundaries

Respect for personal boundaries is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship.

Unfortunately, some individuals struggle with recognizing and respecting these boundaries, making them difficult to get along with.

They might often pry into personal matters, dismiss feelings or thoughts, or demand more time and attention than what is comfortable for others.

This can make people feel disrespected and undervalued, leading to strained relationships.

Remember, everyone has the right to their own space and comfort.

Respecting personal boundaries is not just about not invading someone else’s space; it’s about understanding that each person has their own unique needs and limits.

6) Being overly defensive

One time during a team meeting, my manager gave me feedback on a project I had been working on.

Instead of taking it on board, I instantly got defensive and started justifying my actions.

Being overly defensive is a behavior that can make someone difficult to get along with.

It’s often a knee-jerk reaction to criticism or feedback, but it can stifle communication and hinder personal growth.

Feedback, even if it’s critical, is an opportunity for growth. It allows us to see things from a different perspective and improve.

But when we get defensive, we not only shut ourselves off to potential growth opportunities, we also create tension and conflict in our relationships.

7) Negativity

We all have off days where we feel a little pessimistic.

However, constant negativity is another behavior that can make someone hard to get along with.

People who are always complaining, focusing on the bad, or expecting the worst can be emotionally draining to be around.

This negativity can create a heavy atmosphere that brings down the mood and makes interactions less enjoyable.

It’s important to note that positivity is not about ignoring life’s difficulties or pretending everything is perfect.

Rather, it’s about choosing to focus on the good things, no matter how small they might be, and believing in the possibility of better outcomes.

Cultivating a positive mindset can improve your relationships, boost your mood, and even have health benefits.

Plus, it makes you much more pleasant to be around.

8) Lack of self-awareness

The root of many of these behaviors is a lack of self-awareness.

Without self-awareness, it’s hard to recognize when our behavior is negatively affecting those around us.

Self-awareness is the ability to see ourselves clearly, to understand who we are, how others see us, and how we fit into the world.

It’s about taking an honest look at our strengths and weaknesses and understanding how our actions impact others.

Developing this skill is not always easy.

It requires introspection, honesty, and the willingness to accept feedback. But the benefits are well worth it.

With increased self-awareness, we can make changes that improve our relationships and help us become better versions of ourselves.

Final thoughts

Understanding how we act around others can make our relationships far more enjoyable. 

If you notice any of the behaviors we talked about in yourself, it’s a great chance to think about how you can improve.

And if you see these traits in others, knowing why they act that way can help you be more patient and understanding.

Making small changes in how we behave can really help us get along better with people. Let’s try to be more aware, flexible, and positive, and make our interactions with others more enjoyable and rewarding.