Is there someone in your life who seems excessively focused on themselves, but you’re not sure if it’s just your perception?

Self-centered behavior can often be subtle and difficult to pinpoint.

In fact, often the self-obsessed person doesn’t even realize they’re doing it. They’re just living their life, oblivious to the tell-tale signs they’re projecting.

And believe me, there are signs. I’ve narrowed down 8 behaviors that are typically exhibited by those engrossed in self-obsession.

By recognizing these signs, you can gain clarity about your suspicions and better understand the dynamics at play in your relationship.

1) Constant self-reference

We all know that conversation is a two-way street, but for those who are deeply self-obsessed, it often becomes a one-way highway leading back to them.

Without even realizing it, these individuals constantly steer the discussion towards their own experiences, thoughts, and feelings.

It’s as if their world is the only one that exists and everyone else is just a supporting character.

This behavior can be a bit tedious for others, as it makes meaningful interaction difficult.

The self-obsessed person tends to dominate the conversation without leaving room for others to share their own experiences or viewpoints.

But remember, they’re probably not doing this intentionally. Instead, they’re simply so absorbed in their own universe that they fail to notice how much they’re monopolizing the conversation.

2) Lack of genuine interest in others

Isn’t it funny how you can spend hours with someone, and yet they know so little about you?

Well, that’s another tell-tale sign of someone who is deeply self-obsessed.

Let me share a personal story.

I once had a friend who I’d known for years—let’s call her Jane.

We spent a lot of time together, but I noticed something strange. Despite all the hours we’d hung out, Jane knew very little about my life.

She never asked about my family, my interests, or how my day went. Our conversations always circled back to her life, her problems, and her achievements.

I felt like a passive observer in our friendship rather than an active participant.

It dawned on me that Jane showed very little genuine interest in me or my life. It wasn’t that she was mean or unkind; she was just deeply self-obsessed and probably didn’t even realize it.

While it’s natural to talk about ourselves, as psychology shows, showing sincere interest in others is crucial for building meaningful relationships.

So if someone consistently fails to do this, they might be more self-obsessed than they realize.

3) Frequent self-praise and validation seeking

In the animal kingdom, peacocks fan their colourful feathers to attract a mate.

For humans, self-praise and validation seeking can sometimes serve a similar purpose. But when it’s overdone, it can be an indicator of deep self-obsession.

People who are deeply self-obsessed often have an incessant need to highlight their achievements and skills.

They’re always ready with an anecdote that portrays them in a favourable light, or a story that underscores their talents or successes.

But there’s more to this behavior than simply showing off.

According to psychologists, this constant need for self-praise and validation can stem from a deep-seated insecurity or a lack of self-esteem.

The individual may be seeking external affirmation to compensate for what they perceive as their own inadequacies.

So if you notice someone constantly singing their own praises or seeking validation, they may be more self-obsessed than they realize.

4) Self-centered social media activity

We live in an age where our lives are consistently documented and shared on social media. But for those deeply self-obsessed, their social media activity often revolves solely around themselves.

These individuals tend to flood their feeds with countless selfies, updates about their day-to-day activities, or posts that highlight their achievements.

The focus is always on them, their life, their experiences.

And it’s not just about what they post. They might also constantly check for likes, comments, and shares, using these interactions as a form of validation.

5) Lack of empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s what connects us as human beings.

But for those who are deeply self-obsessed, this crucial trait can often be lacking.

They’re so engrossed in their own world that they struggle to step into someone else’s shoes. They’re often oblivious to the struggles, emotions, or needs of those around them.

This doesn’t mean they’re heartless or uncaring.

In fact, they might be shocked if someone pointed out their lack of empathy. They’re simply so focused on their own universe that they fail to see beyond it.

So if you come across someone who seems indifferent to others’ feelings or experiences, they may be more self-obsessed than they realize. 

6) Difficulty accepting criticism

I remember a time in my life when I was working on a project that I was really passionate about.

I’d put my heart and soul into it, and I was proud of what I’d accomplished. But when I presented it to my team, they had a lot of feedback and suggestions for improvements.

Instead of appreciating their input, I found myself getting defensive. It felt like they were criticizing me, not just the project.

It took some time, and a lot of self-reflection, but I eventually realized that my reaction was a sign of self-obsession. I was so wrapped up in my own perspective that I couldn’t see the value in their feedback.

People who are deeply self-obsessed often have a hard time accepting criticism.

They take it personally and see it as an attack on their self-worth, rather than as an opportunity for growth and improvement. They may react defensively or dismissively, further isolating themselves from others.

7) Overly competitive nature

Competition can be a great motivator. It can push us to strive for excellence and reach new heights.

But when taken to the extreme, it can be indicative of deep self-obsession.

People who are deeply self-obsessed often feel a constant need to prove their worth by outperforming others.

Whether it’s at work, in social situations, or even in casual games, they view every situation as a competition with a clear winner and loser.

This overly competitive nature, which in psychology is called hyper-competitiveness, often stems from a deep desire to validate their self-worth. They see their achievements and victories as proof of their superiority.

So if you notice someone turning every situation into a competition, they may be more self-obsessed than they realize.

8) Neglecting relationships

The most significant indicator of deep self-obsession is the neglect of relationships.

These individuals often prioritize their own needs and desires over those of their loved ones, causing strain and, in extreme cases, the dissolution of these relationships.

They’re often so caught up in their own world that they fail to nurture the bonds they share with others. They might:

• Forget important dates
• Ignore the needs of their partners or friends
• Fail to show up when they’re needed the most

This neglect isn’t out of malice or apathy. It’s simply a byproduct of their self-obsession.

They’re so deeply engrossed in their own lives that they unintentionally overlook the importance of maintaining healthy relationships.

Final thoughts

Understanding the subtle behaviors of self-obsessed individuals can offer valuable insight into the dynamics of your relationships.

By recognizing these eight signs, you gain clarity on whether someone’s self-centered tendencies are impacting your interactions.

Armed with this knowledge, you can approach the situation with greater awareness and make informed decisions about how to handle your relationship.