I’ve spent years writing about culture, psychology, and self-improvement, but it wasn’t until I found myself at a crowded coffee shop in Lower Manhattan—where I couldn’t get a word in edgewise—that I realized just how draining it is to be around deeply self-centered individuals.

As someone who’s a bit of an introvert (and a huge coffee enthusiast), my ears perk up whenever a topic veers into the realm of self-centered behavior.

From personal encounters to the countless articles I’ve read in the name of research, these are nine telltale signs psychologists say point to a person who’s all about me, myself, and I.

1. They Steer Every Conversation Toward Themselves

A classic sign of a deeply self-centered individual is their uncanny ability to redirect any topic—no matter how unrelated—back to themselves.

If you’re talking about your new job, they’ll immediately jump in with “Oh, that reminds me of when I got promoted!” T

his may stem from what Sigmund Freud once described as the ego’s drive to stand out at all costs.

If every interaction feels like a monologue starring them, you’re witnessing self-centeredness in action.

2. They’re Quick to Dismiss Your Feelings

Not everyone is equally empathetic, but self-centered people tend to take dismissal to another level.

They often respond to your emotional experiences with something along the lines of “Oh, that’s not so bad” or “That’s nothing compared to what I went through.”

This lack of empathy can tie into “narcissistic traits,” where the focus on one’s own needs overshadows any genuine interest in others.

An empathetic response is a two-way street; with a self-centered person, that road is often closed for construction—indefinitely.

3. They Crave (and Hog) Attention

Whether it’s on social media or in real-life gatherings, the self-centered often have an unquenchable thirst for attention.

Psychologist Abraham Maslow emphasized that each of us has esteem needs, but self-centered people can push this to an extreme.

They post relentless updates about every detail of their life, expecting likes, comments, and validation in return.

If the spotlight isn’t on them, they’ll find a way to yank it back.

4. They Don’t Apologize (At Least Not Sincerely)

One of the most telling signs of self-centeredness is the reluctance—or downright refusal—to say “I’m sorry.” And when an apology does slip out, it’s usually something along the lines of, “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

That’s not an apology; that’s a deflection. In my own life, I’ve had friends who offered more excuses than actual remorse.

According to Dr. Brené Brown, genuine vulnerability allows us to own our mistakes, but self-centered people see vulnerability as a threat rather than a strength.

5. They Believe They’re Always Right

Let’s face it, we can all be stubborn. But the self-centered person will argue about the sky being green if it means they get to “win.”

They might pretend to care about facts, but deep down it’s all about their version of events.

After all, if they’re right, they remain the star of the show. “The ego is not master in its own house,”

Freud famously noted—but people with sky-high egos often forget they’re not in full control of every situation (or color spectrum).

6. They Struggle to Celebrate Others

Does your self-centered coworker roll their eyes when someone else wins an award at the office? Or does a friend quickly change the subject when you share good news? Some psychologists believe this behavior ties back to a zero-sum mindset: there’s a finite amount of recognition in the world, and if someone else is getting it, it means less for them.

Personally, I used to downplay my achievements around certain people just to avoid that awkward tension. Looking back, I realize that was me trying to protect them from their own discomfort.

7. They Drop You When They Don’t Need You

The self-centered person is often friendly and charming—until they no longer benefit from you.

Think of this as a transactional approach to relationships: they’ll shower you with attention when they want something, then disappear when it’s your turn to ask for help.

It’s a harsh reality, but it underscores the “What’s in it for me?” mindset that so many self-centered types abide by. If you’ve experienced this sudden freeze, you know exactly how it feels to be used.

8. They Have a Habit of Interrupting

We’ve all been guilty of cutting someone off mid-sentence, especially if we’re excited.

The difference with a truly self-centered person is that it’s a constant pattern, not an occasional slip.

They can’t wait for you to finish speaking because listening isn’t the priority—being heard is.

If you ever notice that your conversation partner is more interested in formulating their response than hearing what you have to say, chances are you’re dealing with a self-centered soul.

9. They Twist the Truth to Their Advantage

Finally, many self-centered individuals become adept at distorting facts to paint themselves in the best possible light.

It might be subtle—leaving out unflattering details of a story—or blatant exaggeration. In psychology, this can intersect with concepts like “cognitive dissonance,” where people reshape reality to avoid uncomfortable truths about themselves.

As Maya Angelou once said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” If you catch someone constantly twisting the truth, it might be time to trust your instincts.

Wrapping It Up

Recognizing these nine behaviors can help you navigate interactions with self-centered individuals. You’ll know what to expect (hint: not much genuine empathy) and how to set boundaries (because you deserve to be heard). As an introvert, I personally value relationships that include a healthy balance of give and take—it’s a grounding force in my sometimes chaotic New York life.

So if you notice these traits in someone around you, or even in yourself from time to time, remember: self-awareness is the first step toward change. After all, psychology teaches us that growth is always possible—provided we’re open to seeing the bigger picture.