We don’t choose our upbringing. We aren’t handed a list of potential parents and their step-by-step guide on raising us at birth.

We get what we get and we have to live with it.

Even though we can’t control it, our upbringing has the biggest impact on who we become and how we view our lives as adults.

It’s why every therapist in the world will ask about your childhood to support you through a problem you have!

So if you’re feeling constantly disappointed and dissatisfied with the way your life is right now, your childhood might be the reason why.

More specifically, you might have experienced some of these 6 things.

Up first:

1) They got everything they ever wanted

It’s true that the less you have, the more you value what you do have. In reverse, that means the MORE you have, the LESS you value it!

Here’s a great example. When my Australian friend visited London for the first time, she was amazed by the foxes running around. She’d never experienced foxes before, so it was an incredible sight for her.

But for me? It was just run-of-the-mill stuff. I didn’t appreciate seeing the foxes like she did, because I’d always had access to them.

When you get everything you want in life from a young age, you won’t appreciate things as much as someone who didn’t. Like if you got a new toy every week when you asked for it, you probably didn’t appreciate your toys that much.

Sure, you probably had a good childhood if you got everything you ever wanted. But it more than likely desensitized you to having good things. So when you get good things in your adult life, it never really feels like enough…

2) They’ve never worked hard for anything

I used to see this all the time in college. Some kids had all their driving lessons fully paid for and, when they passed, immediately had an expensive car bought for them.

Other kids (including myself) had to get a job to start their lessons and work for a few years before buying the cheapest car they could afford.

Who valued driving and their car more? The people who worked hard and saved up for it, without a doubt!

The kids who were bought everything without having to work or save a penny didn’t really care about their car. In fact, most didn’t even enjoy driving that much. It was all a bit of a disappointment; something they did but didn’t really appreciate.

For the kids like me who had to work hard to get their license and buy a car, they valued it so much more. Driving was a huge deal and something they truly appreciated being able to do!

When you learn to work hard for things at a young age, you expect to have to do it throughout your life. Discovering that you have to work hard at your job or at a new hobby isn’t a disappointing realization. It’s something you’ve always known.

Which is why people who never had this experience growing up get hit with that disappointment all at once. Realizing you have to work hard for things doesn’t feel fair or like something you want to do.

3) They were told they can do anything

It’s a hard one for parents. You want to tell your kid they can achieve anything. But at the same time, you don’t want to give them false hope.

I have a friend who always wanted to be an actress. No one ever told her it’d be hard or that she might not make it. Or that it might not be as fun as the outtakes make it look…

She’s in her thirties now, works in a café, and gets one or two adverts a year – and she’s unbelievably unhappy.

Why? Because she thinks she’s destined for “more”. Growing up, her parents told her she could be the most successful actress in the world. They told her she could star in movies one day and be rich beyond her dreams!

They were just being supportive, but she ended up feeling like her life was never good enough the way it was. She was told she could have “greatness” and this wasn’t her idea of it.

When realistically, happiness can be found anywhere in life. It isn’t about “making it big” or climbing to the top of the corporate ladder.

But if you’re told you can do these things and are “destined” for them, you might feel disappointed with your life when you don’t actually achieve them…

4) They were never told the harsh truth

I’m a big believer that we all need to hear the harsh truth every now and then. Why? Because every time I’ve heard it, my life completely changed!

Growing up, some kids are told the harsh truth all the time. Reality is forced upon them, and while it isn’t always nice, it makes them grounded. It gives them a perspective that life is the way it is and not everything will be possible for them.

But some kids aren’t ever told the harsh truth. They aren’t kept grounded when they dream about having certain things. No one ever tells them how things really might be when they get older and live the rest of their lives.

They’re just being protected, of course. But just like my friend earlier who hates her life because she thinks she’s destined for more, they can grow up easily disappointed.

Life isn’t what they thought it would be or what people told them it’d be like. For that reason, every day feels like something it shouldn’t be…

5) They never failed at anything

Every exam, class, and grading, they passed. They never faced any rejection – not even in their dating life when they told the popular guy that they fancied them!

Some people are naturally gifted and there’s nothing wrong with that. It isn’t their fault that they’ve never failed at anything. But realistically, they’ve just been lucky for a long time.

Why? Because everyone will fail at something in their life. The people who fail earlier learn that it’s normal. They know it’s hard, but they learn to move past it and get on with their life.

Whereas people who never experienced failure at a young age don’t learn that it’s normal. They don’t think it’s something they can get through, either. To them, it’s the worst thing in the world!

So when they fail at anything, it can deeply, deeply affect them and their view of their entire life – and not in a good way!

6) They were never held accountable for their actions

Everyone does something “wrong” sometimes. Some things have tough consequences, like if you crash your car or get into debt.

In adult life, you have to deal with these things by yourself. You have to pay for the damages and save up to pay off your debts.

Doing this means you’re being accountable for your own actions.

Most people expect this to happen in life. Growing up, they were held accountable when they did something wrong. They had to apologize or make it up to someone. They had to fix their own messes.

But people who had their debts paid off for them without any repercussions? Kids who were never told that something was wrong with what they did? They don’t expect accountability. When it’s thrown at them in adult life, they think life is unfair.

Sometimes, they even struggle to see that THEY did something wrong to begin with. Everything is someone else’s fault…

Final thoughts

Like we said earlier, you can’t help what kind of childhood you had. But you CAN control your adulthood and how you view your life right now!

When you’re feeling disappointed with your life, a bit of soul-searching might be just what you need.

If you recognize any of these experiences, taking stock of what’s going well in your life might benefit you. Practicing gratitude for the things you have and regularly noting them down can massively change your view on things.

Taking a look at the things you can control in your life right now might also help. For the things you aren’t happy with, look at ways to gradually change them.

And remember, just because you experienced these things growing up, that doesn’t mean you’re doomed forever. There’s always a way to turn things around and feel more satisfied with your life!