Navigating relationships can be tricky, especially when you’re dealing with people who are consistently draining.

Often, these individuals exhibit certain behaviors that make them heavy to be around, without even realizing it.

These behaviors can affect the mood and energy of those around them, making interactions feel like a burden rather than a pleasure.

In this article, we’ll explore the 9 behaviors typically displayed by people who are consistently heavy to be around.

Recognizing these patterns can help you understand what’s happening and how to handle it appropriately. So let’s dive in.

1) Constant negativity

We all have our ups and downs, but people who are consistently heavy to be around often indulge in a continuous stream of negativity.

These individuals tend to focus on the negative aspects of every situation, dwelling on problems rather than solutions. This constant pessimism can be draining for those around them, casting a shadow over every interaction.

It’s important to remember that everyone has bad days, but when someone is persistently negative, it can feel like you’re carrying their emotional baggage.

This behavior can be subconscious, with the person unaware of the impact they’re having on others. It’s not necessarily intentional, but the effect is still profoundly draining.

Remember, it’s not about avoiding all negative conversations, but rather about maintaining balance and perspective.

2) Constant complaining

Another behavior that can make people heavy to be around is the habit of constant complaining.

I remember a former colleague of mine. Every conversation with her was like navigating a minefield of grievances. It could be about the weather, the coffee, or the way someone looked at her. Every day brought a fresh wave of complaints.

Now, we all need to vent sometimes, but this was different. It felt like she was constantly on the lookout for things to complain about.

This constant negativity took a toll on everyone around her.

It didn’t just affect her mood; it affected the entire team’s morale.

Again, this is often an unconscious behavior – she probably had no idea how her constant complaining was impacting those around her.

But the effect was undeniable and taught me a valuable lesson about the power of our words and attitudes.

3) One-upping

People who are often heavy to be around frequently display a behavior known as “one-upping.”

I’m sure you’ve met one or two people who do this. You know, those people who constantly try to outdo others with their own stories?

If you’ve run a mile, they’ve run two. If you had a tough day at work, theirs was unquestionably worse. If you have a headache, they don’t just have a headache — they have a migraine. And a bad back, to boot!

One-upping is actually a form of conversational narcissism, a term coined by sociologist Charles Derber. It’s a way for people to constantly turn the conversation back to themselves, often at the expense of others.

While it can be a way for these individuals to boost their self-esteem, it can make those around them feel unheard and undervalued. And that’s why it’s one of the key behaviors that can make someone heavy to be around.

4) Lack of empathy

Another significant characteristic that people who are heavy to be around display is a lack of empathy.

Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is key to forming strong, healthy relationships.

However, those who consistently drain others often struggle with this. They may dismiss other people’s emotions or struggles, focusing solely on their own experiences.

This can lead to a one-sided relationship where one person’s feelings and needs are constantly overlooked — not exactly easy company.

Not only does this lack of empathy make interactions feel exhausting, but it can also create a feeling of disconnect and reduce the quality of the relationship overall.

5) Overbearing personality

People who are heavy to be around often have overbearing personalities.

These individuals tend to dominate conversations, making it all about themselves and their experiences. They often leave little room for others to express their thoughts or feelings.

While it’s natural for conversations to ebb and flow, with different people taking the lead at different times, in the case of overbearing individuals, the balance is skewed.

Their presence tends to fill up the room, leaving others feeling overshadowed and unheard. This can make interactions with them feel more like a monologue than a dialogue, adding to their heaviness.

6) Excessive criticism

Aside from being overbearing, people who are heavy to be around often have a tendency to excessively criticize others.

Whether it’s about minor mistakes, personal choices, or differing opinions, these individuals can find fault in nearly anything.

This behavior can make people around them feel constantly on guard, creating a tense and uncomfortable atmosphere.

While constructive feedback is essential for growth, excessive criticism can be demoralizing and detrimental to self-esteem.

It’s like being under a magnifying glass – every fault and flaw is amplified, making interactions with them a stressful experience.

7) Inability to forgive

Forgiveness is a powerful thing. It allows us to move past hurts and disappointments, to find peace within ourselves and our relationships.

However, people who are consistently heavy to be around often struggle with this concept.

They hold onto grudges, nursing old wounds and keeping them fresh in their minds.

This inability to forgive not only weighs them down but also those around them. It’s like carrying a heavy backpack filled with past wrongs – it slows you down and makes every step a struggle.

It’s important to remember that forgiveness isn’t about forgetting or condoning wrong actions. It’s about choosing to let go of the hurt and move forward.

Unfortunately, for those who are consistently heavy to be around, this can be an elusive concept.

8) Lack of gratitude

Gratitude is a small thing that can make a big difference. I’ve found that even in the midst of challenges, taking a moment to acknowledge the good in my life can help shift my perspective.

Unfortunately, individuals who are heavy to be around often lack this sense of gratitude. Instead of appreciating what they have, they focus on what they lack or what’s going wrong. Like I said earlier, they tend to see only the negatives. 

This constant dissatisfaction can be draining for those around them. It’s like being in a room where the lights are always dimmed – it can make everything seem dull and dreary.

Cultivating gratitude, on the other hand, is like opening the curtains and letting the light in. It doesn’t change the situation, but it does change how we view it.

9) Emotional dependency

Another way someone can be heavy to be around is if they are emotionally dependent.

People like this often rely heavily on others for their emotional stability and happiness. They may constantly seek validation, reassurance, or emotional support.

That’s quite a burden to place on someone else’s shoulders, isn’t it? That’s why it can be exhausting for the people around them.

Emotional dependency can lead to one-sided relationships where one person is constantly giving, and the other is always taking.

This imbalance can make interactions feel heavy and draining, adding a significant weight to any relationship.

Final thoughts: Understanding is key

Understanding the behaviors that make someone feel heavy or draining to be around can be enlightening, both for personal growth and for improving our interactions with others.

Often, people displaying these behaviors aren’t aware of their impact, which is why compassion and open communication are essential.

If you recognize some of these traits in yourself, don’t be disheartened. Awareness is the first step toward change.

And for those dealing with a heavy presence in their lives, setting boundaries and having honest discussions can foster healthier relationships.

Every individual has the capacity for change, and with the right approach, even the heaviest interactions can be transformed into positive exchanges.