Navigating social interactions can sometimes feel like a minefield. Especially when you’re dealing with people who seem friendly, but you suspect they might not like you as much as they let on.

The thing is, these people are usually quite good at hiding their true feelings. They’ll smile, make small talk, and generally appear pleasant. But if you pay close attention, you’ll notice a few subtle behaviors that give them away.

In this article, I’m going to reveal the 7 telltale signs to look out for. You’ll be surprised how these seemingly innocent gestures can hint at something completely different.

1) Sudden change in tone

We’ve all experienced it. You’re having a casual, friendly conversation with someone when all of a sudden, their tone shifts.

It’s not always easy to spot, but it’s a subtle sign that something isn’t quite right. One moment they might be all smiles and laughs, and the next, their responses become short and clipped.

This sudden change in tone can be a clear indication that this person isn’t as fond of you as they seem. It’s as if they’re trying to hide their true feelings behind a façade of friendliness, but their frustration or dislike slips through in these brief moments.

So, whenever you find yourself in a situation where the tone abruptly changes, take note. It could very well be a sign that the person you’re interacting with secretly can’t stand you. 

2) They avoid eye contact

Eye contact, or rather the lack of it, can reveal a lot about how someone truly feels about you. I’ve experienced this myself.

I remember a colleague of mine. Let’s call her Sarah. Sarah always greeted me with a warm smile and engaging conversation, but something felt off. I noticed she would often avoid making eye contact with me. Even in direct conversations, her gaze would be directed elsewhere.

I brushed it off at first, thinking maybe she was just shy or uncomfortable with eye contact in general. But then I noticed she didn’t do the same with others. When talking to other colleagues, she maintained steady eye contact and seemed genuinely engaged.

This made me realize that her avoidance of eye contact was reserved specifically for me. It was a subtle behavior that indicated she may not have liked me as much as she portrayed.

So, pay attention to eye contact. It can shed light on the true feelings hidden behind those friendly smiles.

3) They’re overly polite

Believe it or not, excessive politeness can often be a sign of concealed dislike. Politeness is a social norm that we all adhere to maintain harmony in our interactions. However, when someone is overly polite, it can sometimes mean they’re creating a barrier to keep you at a distance.

Research in social psychology suggests that when people don’t like someone, yet find themselves in a situation where they must interact with them regularly, they tend to use extreme politeness as a coping mechanism. It’s a way for them to maintain the appearance of friendliness while avoiding genuine emotional engagement.

So if you notice someone being unusually polite to you, beyond what the situation calls for, it could be an indication of their hidden feelings. Keep an eye out for this subtle behavior – it might just reveal more than they intend.

4) They subtly belittle your achievements

This one can be quite tricky to spot, as it is often disguised as friendly banter or casual conversation. If someone appears friendly but secretly can’t stand you, they might downplay your accomplishments or success.

They might do this by making light of your achievements, changing the subject quickly, or even attributing your success to luck or outside factors rather than your hard work and dedication.

This subtle behavior is often an attempt to mask their dislike or jealousy. By belittling your victories, they try to maintain their own self-esteem while subtly undermining yours.

So, the next time you share an accomplishment and notice a lukewarm response or dismissive comment, take note. It could be a sign of concealed hostility.

5) They never initiate contact

How often a person initiates contact can reveal a lot about their feelings towards you.

In the past, I’ve had ‘friends’ who were always up for hanging out, but only if I made the plans. I began to notice a pattern; I was always the one reaching out, making plans, and checking in on them. When I decided to test the waters and see what would happen if I stopped initiating, the contact dwindled down to almost nothing.

This lack of initiative on their end showed that they were content with my company, but not invested enough to make an effort themselves. This behavior was a clear sign that their friendliness towards me might not have been as genuine as it seemed.

So, take note of who reaches out first. It can unveil hidden sentiments that someone might not express directly.

6) They give you backhanded compliments

Backhanded compliments are another tool in the arsenal of someone who appears friendly but secretly can’t stand you. These are comments that initially seem like a compliment but contain a subtle insult or criticism.

For instance, they might say something like “You’re so brave for wearing that outfit, I could never pull it off!” or “You did a great job on that project, I didn’t expect it from you.”

These comments are designed to appear supportive on the surface, but their underlying message is often negative. They’re a way for the person to express their true feelings without appearing overtly hostile.

So, watch out for these underhanded remarks. They can reveal more about a person’s true feelings than they might realize.

7) They’re never fully present in your conversations

This is perhaps one of the most telling signs. If someone is genuinely interested and likes you, they’ll be fully engaged in your conversations.

On the contrary, if they’re constantly checking their phone, looking around, or seem distant during your interactions, it’s a strong indicator that they might not enjoy your company as much as they let on.

Their lack of presence shows a lack of genuine interest and could mean they’re just putting on a friendly front to keep the peace. So, stay mindful of their level of engagement – it might just be the key to understanding their true feelings.