As a Life Transition Coach and creator of Reset Your Life Compass, I’ve observed many parenting styles.

I’ve noticed a common trend: some parents allow their kids to walk all over them.

The reasons can vary. Maybe it’s guilt, the desire to be the “cool” parent, or just not knowing how to set boundaries.

But the result is usually the same: kids who don’t respect authority and parents who feel overwhelmed.

In my coaching practice, I’ve identified eight behaviors often displayed by parents who find themselves in this situation.

And trust me, it’s more common than you might think.

Below are these eight behaviors, and some advice on how to break free from this pattern.

1) Being a friend rather than a parent

One of the most common behaviors I’ve seen is parents who try to be their child’s friend, rather than their parent.

This can lead to a lack of boundaries and respect.

Children need guidance and structure, and when parents act more like friends, they can sometimes lose their authority.

Of course, it’s important to foster a close and loving relationship with your children.

But there needs to be a clear distinction between being a friend and being a parent.

Setting clear boundaries helps your child understand what is expected of them and teaches them respect.

It also allows you, as the parent, to have more control over your own life and not feel like you’re being walked all over.

That’s not just good parenting – it’s good self-care, too.

2) Not understanding their core values

In my observations, another common behavior in parents who let their kids walk all over them is a lack of understanding of their own core values.

Confucius once said, “When you know a thing, hold that you know it; when you do not know a thing, allow that you do not know it – this is knowledge.”

This quote resonates deeply with me. It emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and understanding your core values.

When we are clear on our own values, we can set better boundaries and expectations for our children.

This doesn’t just benefit us – it benefits our children too. They learn by example what strong core values look like.

But what if you’re not sure about your own core values?

Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered. I’ve created a helpful exercise called “Defining Your Values”. This simple but powerful tool can help you get clear on what matters most to you.

You can find the exercise here. Take some time to explore your core values.

Understanding yourself is the first step towards better parenting and not allowing yourself to be walked over.

3) Not taking the wheel

An essential behavior I’ve seen in parents who let their children walk all over them is a reluctance to take control and steer the direction of their family’s life.

Being a parent means being the one in charge. It means setting the course and navigating the journey for your family.

This doesn’t mean you ignore your children’s wants and needs, but it does mean that you don’t let them dictate everything.

Parents who step back and let their children rule the roost are often doing so out of fear – fear of confrontation, fear of not being liked, or even fear of their own inadequacy.

But here’s the truth: being a parent isn’t about being perfect, it’s about providing guidance.

Taking control means making decisions that are best for your family as a whole, even if they aren’t always popular.

It means setting boundaries and enforcing them.

It means showing your kids that while their voices are valued, you’re ultimately the one steering the ship.

4) Neglecting self-reflection

A behavior that often goes unnoticed is the lack of self-reflection.

Journaling is a powerful tool for self-reflection that many individuals overlook.

Journaling can help you explore your thoughts and emotions, identifying patterns in your behavior, and gaining deeper insight into your own actions and reactions.

When you journal regularly, you start to understand yourself better.

You can identify areas where you might be letting your children walk all over you and can start to take steps to address this.

Now, if you’re thinking, “That sounds great, but where do I start?”, don’t worry – I’ve got you covered.

My course, Reset Your Life Compass, includes a range of self-reflection exercises and tools to help guide you.

In this course, we’ll work together to identify your core values, set meaningful goals, and start steering your life in the direction you want it to go.

You’ll learn how to build resilience, embrace change, and live a more fulfilling life.

You can find more information about the course here. Remember, self-reflection is a key step in taking back control of your life.

5) Resisting habit change

Another common behavior is the resistance to changing habits.

Let’s be honest, change can be difficult and uncomfortable, especially when it comes to our habits.

We often stick to what we know, even when those habits are no longer serving us in a positive way.

But here’s the truth: if you want to stop your children from walking all over you, you need to change your habits.

You need to replace old patterns of behavior with new, healthier ones.

This might mean setting clear boundaries, learning to say no, or taking time for self-care.

It could mean seeking support from a coach or therapist, or simply being more assertive.

Changing habits isn’t easy, but it’s necessary for growth. The good part is that you’re not alone in this journey. There are resources and support available to help you make those changes and live a better life.

6) Living without purpose

One of the most heart-wrenching behaviors I’ve seen is parents who are simply going through the motions, living without a sense of purpose or meaning.

When you’re just going through the motions, it’s easy to let your children walk all over you because you’ve lost sight of your own needs and desires.

Finding your purpose isn’t always easy. It requires self-reflection, honesty, and often, a willingness to make changes in your life.

But trust me, it’s worth it.

A life filled with purpose is a life filled with passion, joy, and fulfillment. It gives you the strength to set boundaries with your children and to stand up for yourself.

I’ve created a short video with tips on finding your purpose in life.

You can watch it here. Finding your purpose is the first step towards reclaiming control of your life.

7) Not living authentically

Think about it: how often do you find yourself acting in a way that doesn’t align with your true self, just to keep the peace or avoid conflict?

When we’re not living authentically, we’re not being true to ourselves.

And when we’re not true to ourselves, it’s easy for our kids to take advantage and walk all over us.

Living authentically means being honest about your needs and boundaries.

It means standing up for yourself, even when it’s difficult.

It also means showing your children the value of authenticity and integrity.

In conclusion, if you recognize yourself in any of these behaviors, know that you’re not alone.

Many parents struggle with feeling like they’re being walked all over by their children. But remember, change is possible.

Parenting isn’t about perfection – it’s about progress.

If you’re ready to take a step towards change, consider my course, Reset Your Life Compass.

With practical exercises and guided self-reflection, it’s designed to help you navigate your way to a more fulfilling life.

You can find more information about the course here.

The first step towards change is recognizing the need for it. You have the power to reset your life compass and start living a life that aligns with your values.

Take that step today. You’re worth it.