Sometimes, people aren’t as they seem. They smile, act friendly, but beneath the surface, there’s a different story unfolding. They might not like you as much as they pretend to.

The tricky part is, these people are good at hiding their true feelings. But fear not, there are subtle signs that give them away.

In this article, we’re going to unravel those hidden cues. We’ll explore 8 specific behaviors that people, who act friendly but secretly dislike you, often display.

Don’t worry, this isn’t about creating paranoia, it’s about understanding human behavior better. 

Let’s get started. 

1) Overly enthusiastic greetings

Have you ever noticed how some people, despite their warm and enthusiastic greetings, leave you with an odd feeling?

This could be one of the first signs. They might be compensating for their lack of genuine affection by going overboard with their greetings and pleasantries.

Sometimes, people who secretly dislike you can be overly enthusiastic or excessively nice when you first meet them. This is done to mask their true feelings and to throw you off the scent.

But don’t take this as a hard rule. Some people are just naturally enthusiastic. The key here is to look for a balance and consistency in their behavior.

If their enthusiasm feels out of place or inconsistent with how they interact with others, it might be a sign that they’re not as friendly towards you as they seem.

2) Compliments that don’t feel quite right

This one hits close to home. I remember a colleague of mine who always had a compliment ready. But somehow, those compliments always felt a bit off.

She’d say things like “You’re so brave for wearing that outfit!” or “I could never pull off such a bold hairstyle!”. Initially, I took these as compliments. But over time, I realized they were thinly veiled criticisms.

These ‘compliments’ were her way of expressing her dislike without being overtly rude. They were subtle, backhanded compliments that were intended to undermine rather than uplift.

3) They’re quick to show their achievements

Interestingly, people who secretly dislike you are often quick to point out their own achievements or successes in your presence. It’s like they have an innate need to prove their worth or come out on top.

This behavior stems from a psychological need to assert dominance or superiority. It’s a subtle power play, meant to make you feel lesser in comparison.

When someone consistently brags or subtly highlights their achievements around you, it might be more than just harmless self-promotion. It could be a sign they’re masking their true feelings towards you.

4) They rarely initiate genuine conversation

Communication is the backbone of any relationship, be it personal or professional. But what if the conversations with a certain someone always feel one-sided or surface-level?

People who act friendly but secretly dislike you often avoid initiating genuine or deep conversations. They’ll stick to casual chit-chat, avoid personal topics, and steer clear of meaningful dialogues.

It’s as if they’re trying to maintain a friendly facade without investing emotionally in the relationship. If you notice this behavior in someone, it might be a sign that their friendliness is just an act.

5) They’re often unavailable for you

Friendship is about being there for each other, in good times and bad. But what if someone always seems to be unavailable when you need them?

People who act friendly but secretly dislike you often have a knack for being unavailable or busy when you’re in need. You might find them perpetually occupied, or they might cancel plans at the last moment.

It’s heartbreaking to realize that someone you thought was a friend is not actually there for you. But it’s vital to recognize this behavior for what it is – a sign of their hidden dislike.

Instead of letting it bring you down, use it as a reminder to surround yourself with genuine friends who value your company.

6) They don’t defend you in your absence

I’ve learned the hard way that not everyone who laughs with you, stands with you. I used to have a ‘friend’ who would always be chummy in person. But one day, I overheard her speaking ill of me to others when she thought I wasn’t around.

This was a harsh realization. People who act friendly but secretly dislike you will rarely defend you in your absence. Instead, they might contribute to the negative talk or avoid taking a stand for you.

If someone’s loyalty wavers when you’re not around, that’s a clear sign their friendly demeanor isn’t what it seems.

7) They subtly undermine your success

Success is a joyful occasion, one that friends typically celebrate together. But for those who secretly dislike you, your success might be a thorn in their side.

These individuals might downplay your achievements or find ways to shift the focus away from you. They might make light of your accomplishments or even attribute them to luck rather than your hard work.

This behavior is more than just simple jealousy. It’s a clear sign of their hidden resentment. If someone can’t rejoice in your success, it’s a clear indication that their friendly act is just that – an act.

8) They exclude you subtly

The most glaring sign of hidden dislike is subtle exclusion. People who act friendly but secretly dislike you often find ways to exclude you from conversations, activities, or social gatherings.

They might ‘forget’ to invite you to events, leave you out of group discussions, or consistently overlook your contributions. This isn’t accidental. It’s a calculated move to keep you on the fringes.

Exclusion is hurtful and damaging. Everyone deserves to be included and valued. Don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise.

Final thoughts: It’s about discernment

One key aspect to remember is that no one is obliged to like everyone they meet, and vice versa. It’s a part of life, as natural as the changing seasons.

However, recognizing these signs can empower you to cultivate authentic relationships and protect your emotional space. It’s important to respond with discernment, not bitterness.

Maya Angelou once said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” This holds true here. If someone’s actions repeatedly show you that their friendliness might not be genuine, trust your instincts.

Remember, life is too short to surround yourself with inauthentic interactions. Seek out those who value you for who you truly are and leave the ‘pretenders’ behind.