People who act confident but are deeply insecure underneath usually display these 6 behaviors

Lucas Graham by Lucas Graham | September 6, 2024, 10:09 pm

There’s a fine line between genuine confidence and a facade of self-assurance that masks deep-seated insecurity.

The distinction ultimately boils down to authenticity.

Truly confident people are comfortable with themselves, their flaws, and their strengths.

But those who only pretend to be confident often use this act as a smokescreen to hide their insecurities.

In reality, such individuals usually exhibit certain behaviors that give away their inner turmoil.

And if you know what to look for, these signs are rather revealing.

Here are 6 behaviors commonly displayed by people who might appear confident on the outside, but are deeply insecure underneath.

1) Overcompensation

One of the most common behaviors displayed by people who act confident but are deeply insecure underneath is overcompensation.

This could manifest in various ways – from a tendency to brag or exaggerate their achievements, to a constant need to prove themselves.

Why does this happen? Insecurity often stems from a fear of inadequacy.

So, these individuals might feel the need to go above and beyond in their efforts, just to prove that they are good enough.

Genuine confidence doesn’t require constant validation or approval.

It’s grounded in self-acceptance and doesn’t feel the need to prove anything to anyone.

2) Perfectionism

Another behavior that often points to hidden insecurity is perfectionism.

I’ve seen this in myself at times, so I can speak from personal experience.

There was a time when I would obsess over every little detail of my work.

Whether it was a report I was writing or a presentation I was preparing, it had to be perfect.

I’d spend hours tweaking and revising, never quite satisfied.

In my mind, any mistake or flaw was a reflection of my value as a person.

It was as if I believed that being perfect would shield me from criticism or rejection.

But over time, I realized that this need for perfection was rooted in deep-seated insecurity.

I was so afraid of not being good enough that I held myself to an unrealistic standard.

In reality, no one is perfect. We all make mistakes and have areas for improvement.

Understanding this helped me to let go of my perfectionistic tendencies and accept myself, flaws and all.

3) Defensive behavior

Defensiveness is a common trait seen in those who project confidence but are insecure deep down.

When someone constantly feels the need to defend their actions, ideas, or beliefs, it may be because they’re not as secure in them as they’d like to be.

They might interpret even the smallest criticism or disagreement as a personal attack.

As a result, their response might be triggered by something as simple as a differing opinion or constructive feedback.

It’s their way of ‘protecting’ themselves from the perceived threat.

So, if you find someone always on the defensive, it might indicate that beneath their confident exterior, they’re wrestling with insecurity.

4) Need for control

Individuals who appear confident but are deeply insecure often have a strong need for control.

This could show up in various areas of their lives, from their work to their relationships.

They might insist on making all the decisions or having things done their way, reluctant to let go of the reins.

The truth is that this need for control often stems from a sense of insecurity.

They may feel that by controlling every aspect of a situation, they can prevent things from going wrong and thus protect themselves from criticism or failure.

However, life is unpredictable, and trying to control everything is not only exhausting but also futile.

If this relates to you or you find someone you know has this sign, know that underneath that controlling exterior could lie a deep-seated insecurity.

5) Constant comparison

A big red flag for hidden insecurity is when an individual is constantly comparing themselves to others.

Whether it’s about looks, wealth, success, or any other aspect of life, these individuals are always measuring their worth against others.

They might frequently put others down or envy their achievements, unable to appreciate their own worth.

This constant comparison stems from a lack of self-esteem.

They’re seeking validation externally because they’re unable to find it within themselves.

It’s important to remember that everyone’s journey is different, and comparing ourselves to others rarely leads to anything positive.

6) Fear of vulnerability

People who project confidence but are deeply insecure tend to avoid showing vulnerability at all costs.

They might put up walls, hide their true feelings, or shy away from opening up.

They fear that revealing their weaknesses or insecurities might make them seem less competent or worthy in the eyes of others.

Vulnerability, however, is not a sign of weakness, but a testament to courage.

It takes bravery to openly express our feelings, fears, and insecurities.

Avoidance of vulnerability often stems from a fear of rejection or judgment.

But by doing so, they’re also closing off the opportunity for deeper and more genuine connections with others.

So remember, if someone always seems to have it all together and never shows any signs of vulnerability, it might be because they are hiding their insecurities underneath a veneer of confidence.

Final thoughts: Unmasking the facade

The complexities of human behavior often lie in the subtle nuances that go unnoticed.

In the pursuit of understanding those who cloak their insecurities with a veneer of confidence, it’s essential to remember that these behaviors are often defense mechanisms, not deliberate attempts to deceive.

These individuals might be fighting internal battles we know nothing about.

Their projected confidence could be their armor, their way of coping with feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.

So as we tread this journey of understanding, let’s approach it with empathy and kindness.

Because beneath the confident exterior, there might be a vulnerable soul yearning for acceptance, just like the rest of us!