People sorely lacking in social skills often use these 11 phrases without realizing how they come across

Let’s admit it, sometimes we get those foot-in-mouth moments of pure unbridled shame and embarrassment-–some more than others.
It happens, we’re human.
Try as we might to always be on the side of not offending anyone, we won’t always be able to catch ourselves.
It pays to reflect though, to know
Let this list help.
Here are 11 phrases said by people who lack social skills without realizing how they come across.
1) “You wouldn’t understand”
Why you shouldn’t say this either:
- It minimizes the richness of other people’s lives.
- It blocks people’s chances to empathize with you or help you.
- It undermines people’s abilities. (Some people can understand you, you know?)
What you can say instead:
- Acknowledge your inherent differences.
- Thank people for wanting to empathize.
- Explain the need for time to process your own emotions.
2) “I speak my mind, deal with it”
Why you shouldn’t say this either:
- This statement can sound callous.
- This implies that people need to tiptoe around you and your outbursts—which is rarely a fun experience for a lot of people.
- People can, in fact, not deal with it. People don’t owe you your comfort.
What you can say instead:
- Acknowledge that you can say the wrong things.
- Apologize where necessary.
3) “I was just joking”
Why you shouldn’t say this either:
- It’s implying that other people can’t take a joke.
- It’s making it seem that one can get a pass for being hurtful if the offense can be disguised as humor.
- It sets a precedent for using humor negatively.
What you can say instead:
- Apologize for being callous.
4) “You’re too sensitive”
Why you shouldn’t say this either:
- “You’re making this worse than it is.” is implied.
- “You’re being dramatic” also is implied.
- Variations are “Lighten up” or “You need to live a little” and these are statements that can imply that people are being “buzzkills” (#9 on this list.)
What you can say instead:
- Accept that people are allowed their feelings.
- Accept that you’ve hurt them, and then apologize.
- Don’t push the blame on them.
5) “I’m just trying to help”
Why you shouldn’t say this either:
- It implies ungratefulness. It says “How dare you not accept what I offer?”
- People can, in fact, decline your help. Yes, even with good intentions.
- It sounds like a guilt trip. “Oh, I did this for you, you should be nicer to me.”
- It negates people’s rights to decide for themselves, just because you “chose” to help them doesn’t mean they owe you anything.
- Don’t throw your generosity around like it’s a weapon. If you choose to give, give without expecting anything in return.
What you can say instead:
- Express that they can accept your help when they’re ready and then stop pushing.
- Say “OK” when they decline, and move on.
6) “I’m just being honest”
Why you shouldn’t say this either:
- It implies that the other person is the problem for questioning your honesty.
- It sets a precedent of not wanting to be questioned.
- Often, people use “I’m just being honest” to excuse meanness—like being brutally honest.
What you can say instead:
- Apologize if your honesty is uncalled for.
- Remember that people are allowed to process your honesty however they want.
7) “This is just who I am, take it or leave it”
Why you shouldn’t say this either:
- It’s an attempt to excuse bad behavior as people usually say this line as an ultimatum.
- It’s an ultimatum, and those usually don’t go well. It corners other people and makes it seem like they need to get used to your unchanged behavior.
What you can say instead:
- Just don’t say this one. Ultimatums are not fun.
- Acknowledge, apologize, and do better.
8) “You should be more outgoing”
Why you shouldn’t say this either:
- Introverts exist for a reason. Not everyone is built to be “outgoing”. Extroverts can also choose to not be outgoing at every waking moment. Point is, it’s not up to you.
- People don’t owe you their participation.
- We should all just be respectful of how people choose to interact with others—or even if they choose not to.
What you can say instead:
- Instead of pushing them to be more outgoing, try to be more interested in what they choose to do instead. Who knows, you might find yourself liking their interests, too!
- “You can join us if you want, I would love for you to come.”
9) “Don’t be such a buzzkill”
Why you shouldn’t say this either:
- People can choose not to participate or participate only in the capacity that they can.
- This implies that you think they’re “ruining the fun” and this isn’t a feeling that a lot of people want. This pressures them (don’t be that guy).
What you can say instead:
- “Join us when you can”
- “I (or we) would really love it if you would join.” And if they don’t, accept that.
10) “You’re too quiet”
Why you shouldn’t say this either:
- People can choose to be as quiet as they want to be, it’s not up to you to comment on it.
- People might be feeling uncomfortable enough as it is in the setting and pointing it out might make them feel even worse.
- They can choose not to engage.
- They can choose not to talk to you.
What you can say instead:
- Let people be.
- If you can’t help it, ask people if they’re okay, but accept what they tell you. Pry depending on your level of closeness. If it’s uncharacteristic for them, then ask.
11) “You should smile more”
Why you shouldn’t say this either:
- It can be rude because people (especially strangers) would rather be left alone.
- We don’t know what people are going through.
- Nobody owes you a smile.
What you can say instead:
- Say nothing. Don’t comment on people not smiling.
- If they do smile, compliment them genuinely. (Don’t be weird about it.)
Final thoughts
Look, I get it, we won’t always be able to stop ourselves from saying the statements above even if we have social skills. Every situation is different.
It does, however, pay to be mindful of how our words affect others. Do better afterward.
Be better. Choose to do so. Give yourself the grace to be better.
We’re all just trying our best, after all.