Self-esteem is a tricky thing. It’s an internal barometer of our worth that often manifests itself through our behavior.

Low self-esteem often triggers specific patterns of behavior.

They’re like telltale signs, screaming “I’m not feeling too good about myself!” to those who know what to look for.

In this article, I’ll be unpacking 8 common behaviors that people with low self-esteem tend to exhibit, often without even realizing it.

So, buckle up and let’s dive into the world of self-esteem.

1) Constant self-criticism

One of the most glaring signs that someone is wrestling with low self-esteem is a persistent cycle of self-criticism.

People who lack confidence in their worth often have an internal dialogue that’s harsh and unforgiving.

It’s like having a super critical coach in your head, constantly pointing out your mistakes and shortcomings.

This self-inflicted critique tends to be relentless, leaving no room for acknowledging strengths or celebrating achievements.

Instead, every minor setback is blown out of proportion, often leading to feelings of guilt, shame, and inadequacy.

Ironically, the people exhibiting this behavior often don’t realize the extent of their self-criticism.

They may believe they’re just being realistic or keeping themselves grounded.

But in reality, they’re chipping away at their own self-esteem.

Becoming aware of this inner critic is the first step towards cultivating a healthier self-image.

Everyone makes mistakes and nobody is perfect. So let’s cut ourselves some slack.

2) Struggling with decision-making

Low self-esteem can make the simplest decisions feel like a Herculean task.

For instance, I remember a time when I was offered a promotion at work.

Instead of feeling joy or excitement, I was paralyzed with fear.

I questioned whether I was capable enough, whether I deserved it or if accepting it would set me up for failure.

This is a classic example of analysis paralysis, a common trait among those with low self-esteem.

The fear of making the wrong choice or being judged for your decisions can be overwhelming.

It’s like being caught in a whirlwind of self-doubt and second-guessing.

Trusting in your judgment and learning to embrace your decisions — good or bad — is essential for building confidence.

After all, making mistakes is just part of being human.

3) Overly sensitive to criticism

Criticism, whether constructive or not, can be a hard pill to swallow for those with low self-esteem.

This heightened sensitivity stems from an already harsh self-perception.

When someone else echoes their internal critic, it can trigger a strong emotional response – from defensiveness and anger to feeling hurt or withdrawn.

Individuals with low self-esteem have a tendency to take criticism more personally, often interpreting it as a direct attack on their character.

This can lead to strained relationships and further erosion of self-confidence.

Everyone faces criticism at some point.

The key is in learning to differentiate between feedback meant for growth and unnecessary negativity.

4) Excessive need for validation

Ever met someone who constantly seeks approval or validation from others?

That’s another telltale sign of low self-esteem.

People who lack self-confidence often depend on external sources for their sense of worthiness.

They need others to reassure them that they’re doing okay, that they’re good enough, or that their choices are valid.

This dependency can manifest in various ways:

• Seeking compliments for their work
• Constantly asking for opinions before making a decision
• Fishing for reassurance in relationships

While it’s perfectly okay to seek feedback and validation from others occasionally, an excessive need can be draining and unhealthy.

It’s important to remember that your worth is not determined by what others think of you, but by how you perceive yourself.

Let’s start validating our own choices and celebrating our little victories.

5) Avoidance of risk and new experiences

Stepping out of our comfort zones can be scary for anyone. But for people with low self-esteem, it can feel downright terrifying.

The fear of failure or ridicule often prevents them from taking risks or trying new things.

They prefer to stick with what’s familiar, even if it means missing out on opportunities for growth and self-improvement.

This behavior is not about being content with what they have, but more about the fear of proving their internal critic right.

It’s a self-protective measure to avoid the pain of potential failure.

But here’s the thing – life is about taking risks and embracing the unknown. Every stumble, every mistake is an opportunity for growth.

So let’s give ourselves permission to try, to fail, and to learn. After all, it’s through these experiences that we truly come alive.

6) Difficulty accepting compliments

It’s quite common for people with low self-esteem to struggle with accepting compliments.

I remember once when a friend complimented my painting, instead of saying a simple ‘thank you’, I brushed it off saying, “Oh, it’s nothing really. I’ve seen better work on Pinterest.”

It was like I couldn’t allow myself to receive praise, to own my accomplishments.

This difficulty stems from a belief that we don’t deserve praise or that others are just being nice.

We might also fear that accepting a compliment might make us appear arrogant or self-centered.

But dismissing compliments can rob us of the joy of accomplishment and further undermine our self-esteem.

Learning to graciously accept compliments can be a small but significant step towards building self-confidence.

It’s okay to acknowledge your strengths and achievements. You’re worth it!

7) Negative body language

Believe it or not, low self-esteem can manifest physically through one’s body language.

People with low self-confidence often exhibit signs of discomfort or unease in their own skin. This can take the form of:

• Avoiding eye contact
• Slouching
• Fidgeting
• Crossing arms and legs 

This negative body language not only communicates their discomfort to others but also reinforces their feelings of insecurity.

It’s a vicious cycle that can be hard to break.

The good news is that changing your body language can actually influence your mental state.

Studies have shown that adopting a more confident posture can improve feelings of self-worth.

So stand tall, make eye contact, and let your body language reflect the amazing person you truly are.

8) Withdrawal from social activities

One of the most significant signs of low self-esteem is a tendency to withdraw from social situations.

People with low self-esteem often feel uncomfortable or anxious in social settings.

They might fear being judged or not fitting in, leading them to avoid these situations altogether.

This can result in isolation and feelings of loneliness, further exacerbating their low self-esteem.

The important thing to remember here is that everyone feels awkward or out of place sometimes. It’s a part of being human.

And while it might feel safer to avoid social situations, it’s through these interactions that we form connections, learn about others, and most importantly, about ourselves.

It’s okay to be yourself, with all your quirks and unique traits. You’re enough just as you are.

Final thoughts: It’s all about self-compassion

Delving into the complexities of human behavior, it’s clear that our self-esteem has a profound impact on our actions, decisions, and interactions.

At the heart of low self-esteem lies a critical inner voice that constantly judges and belittles.

But it’s crucial to remember that this voice is not an accurate reflection of who we are.

Treating ourselves with kindness and understanding can significantly improve our self-esteem.

Acknowledging our imperfections and extending compassion towards ourselves can lead to a healthier self-image.

So, whether you recognize these behaviors in yourself or others, remember that change begins with awareness and self-compassion.

Each one of us is a work in progress, deserving of kindness, empathy, and most importantly, self-love.