Parents who maintain a close bond with their adult children usually display these 8 specific behaviors

Eliza Hartley by Eliza Hartley | October 8, 2024, 9:43 am

There’s a unique dynamic between parents and their adult children. The transition from guiding their everyday life to allowing them to make decisions independently can be challenging.

Maintaining a close bond during this phase is not about being in control, but about understanding and respect. It’s about allowing your child the freedom to grow, while still being there for support when needed.

Parents who are successful in maintaining this bond usually display certain behaviors. And believe it or not, these behaviors are more common than you think.

In this article, we will delve into the 8 specific behaviors that parents who have a strong bond with their adult children usually exhibit.

1) Active listening

One essential behavior that parents who maintain a close bond with their adult children often display is active listening.

Let’s face it, conversations between parents and their adult kids can sometimes be a tricky terrain. It’s not always about giving advice or trying to fix things, sometimes, it’s about merely lending an ear.

Active listening goes beyond just hearing the words. It’s about showing genuine interest in what your child is saying, understanding their perspective, and responding in a way that makes them feel heard and validated.

When parents actively listen, they create a safe space for their adult children to open up about their lives, thoughts, and feelings. This doesn’t just strengthen the bond but also fosters mutual respect and understanding.

This simple yet powerful behavior can do wonders for your relationship with your adult child.

2) Respect for boundaries

When it comes to maintaining a strong bond with my adult children, I’ve found that respecting their boundaries is crucial.

Let me share a personal example. My son moved to another city last year for his job. In the beginning, I found myself calling him every day, sometimes even multiple times a day. I missed him and wanted to make sure he was alright in his new environment.

However, one day he gently pointed out that while he appreciated my concern, he needed some space to figure things out on his own. He reassured me that he would reach out if he needed help.

I’ll admit, it wasn’t easy hearing that at first. But then I realized that he was now an adult and had his own life. He needed room to make his own decisions and learn from them.

So, I took a step back and started respecting his boundaries. I still call him, but now it’s more about catching up on our lives rather than checking in on him every day.

And guess what? Our relationship has only grown stronger since then. He shares more about his life with me now than he used to when I was constantly calling.

So, respect for boundaries is not just about giving them space but also about showing them that you trust their judgement and respect their independence.

3) Regular communication

Communication is the lifeline of any relationship, and this holds true for parents and their adult children as well. But it’s not just about the frequency; it’s also about the quality of the interactions.

The key here is to keep the communication lines open. It’s not about prying into their lives or bombarding them with questions. It’s about showing interest in their lives, offering support when needed, and sharing your own experiences with them.

Regular, meaningful communication can help you understand each other better and foster a deeper bond. It ensures that both parties feel valued and heard, which is crucial for maintaining a close relationship.

4) Display of empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. It’s a vital component in maintaining a close bond with your adult children.

When your child is going through a tough time, being empathetic means you’re not just offering solutions or advice, but also understanding and sharing their emotional state. It’s about putting yourself in their shoes and seeing things from their perspective.

Empathy goes a long way in making your child feel understood and supported. It’s not about saying “I told you so” or dismissing their feelings. It’s about acknowledging their emotions and letting them know that it’s okay to feel the way they do.

By being empathetic, you can help them navigate through difficult situations while also strengthening your bond with them.

5) Unconditional love

The one thread that weaves through the fabric of any parent-child relationship, irrespective of age, is unconditional love.

Unconditional love is not about overlooking mistakes or endorsing wrong choices. It’s about loving your child for who they are, not for what they do or don’t do. It’s about accepting them in their entirety, with all their strengths and weaknesses.

As a parent, there will be times when your adult child may make choices that you don’t agree with, or take paths that you wouldn’t have chosen for them. It’s natural to feel disappointed or worried in such situations.

However, it’s important to remember that they are their own person, with their own life journey. Your role as a parent is to love them unconditionally, support them when they stumble and celebrate with them when they succeed.

This doesn’t mean you can’t express your concerns or give advice. But at the end of the day, it’s about respecting their choices and letting them know that no matter what, your love for them remains unchanged. This feeling of security can significantly strengthen your bond with your adult child.

6) Letting go of expectations

I remember when my daughter decided to pursue arts instead of a traditional academic route. I was initially apprehensive, mainly because of the societal stereotype of struggling artists.

Deep down, I had always envisioned her in a more conventional career. I’d imagined her wearing a business suit, working in a high-rise office building – not in a studio, covered in paint.

But then, I saw the spark in her eyes whenever she talked about her art. The passion she had for it was undeniable. That’s when I realized that it was her life, her journey, and her happiness at stake.

So, I let go of my expectations and decided to support her in her chosen path. And you know what? She’s doing amazing. She’s fulfilled and successful in her own way, and that brings me immense joy.

Letting go of expectations allows your adult child to live their life authentically, without the pressure of fulfilling predetermined roles. It shows them that you respect and support their individuality, which can significantly strengthen your bond with them.

7) Apologizing when necessary

Nobody is perfect, and that includes parents. There will be times when you may say or do something that might upset your adult child. In such situations, it’s important to own up to your mistakes and apologize.

An apology doesn’t show weakness; instead, it demonstrates respect towards your child’s feelings and acknowledges that you may have been wrong. It sets a good example for your adult child about taking responsibility for one’s actions.

Moreover, it also helps in mending any rifts and rebuilding trust. Remember, maintaining a close bond with your adult child is not about always being right, but about being humble enough to admit when you’re wrong. It’s about valuing the relationship more than your ego.

8) Being their cheerleader

As a parent, one of the most significant roles you play in your adult child’s life is being their biggest cheerleader. This means celebrating their achievements, no matter how small they may seem, and encouraging them when they face setbacks.

When your child knows that they have a parent who believes in them and is proud of them, it boosts their confidence and motivates them to strive for their goals. It assures them that they have a solid support system, no matter what life throws at them.

Being their cheerleader is not about pushing them to achieve what you think is best for them, but about supporting them in achieving what they believe is best for themselves. It’s about letting them know that you have faith in their abilities and that you’ll always be there to cheer them on.