Never settle for a man with these 7 specific personality traits (if you want to be happy)

Tina Fey by Tina Fey | October 6, 2024, 12:35 pm

Navigating the dating world can feel like an overwhelming maze, especially when every man you encounter has their own set of quirks and flaws.

We all know that nobody’s perfect, but there are certain personality traits that we should never accept in a man. 

In my years of playing relationship guru, I have identified seven specific traits that can spell trouble in a relationship, and knowing them can make your dating life a whole lot easier!

So ladies, here are eight specific personality traits to watch out for when swiping right!

1) A lack of respect

It’s no secret that respect is the cornerstone of any successful relationship.

Ever heard the phrase “respect is earned, not given”? Well, in romantic relationships, it should be a given. If your man doesn’t treat you with the respect you deserve, it’s a red flag.

When I talk about respect, I don’t just mean treating you well in front of others. It’s about:

  • Valuing your opinions
  • Listening to your thoughts and ideas
  • Ccknowledging your feelings

So if you find yourself with someone who dismisses your ideas or belittles your feelings, think twice. It’s the first sign of a bumpy ride ahead.

2) Overconfidence

Here’s where it gets a bit counterintuitive. Confidence is attractive, right?

Well, yes and no.

While confidence can be alluring, there’s a fine line between being self-assured and being overconfident.

Men who exude too much confidence can often disregard the opinions and feelings of others, believing their way is the only right way.

Overconfidence can also mask insecurities and lead to controlling behaviors.

If your man always needs to be in the driver’s seat, never admitting to mistakes or showing vulnerability, it might be time to reassess. A strong relationship involves two equal partners after all.

3) Emotional unavailability

Now this one’s a tough nut to crack, but oh so important. Emotional unavailability can be incredibly damaging to a relationship.

I’ve seen many people fall into the trap of believing they can ‘fix’ an emotionally unavailable man. But trust me, it’s a road that leads to heartache.

An emotionally unavailable man is often distant, withholding affection or unable to express his feelings. This can leave you feeling isolated and unloved, which is far from ideal for a healthy, happy relationship.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve deeper into the topic of emotional unavailability and how to navigate it.

4) Lack of ambition

We’ve all got dreams, right? And it’s important that our partners support and share in those dreams.

A man without ambition or goals can be a drag on your own aspirations. It’s like trying to fly with an anchor tied to your ankle.

I remember dating a guy once who was happy to just coast through life. It didn’t take long for me to realize that his lack of drive was draining my own zest for life.

Never settle for someone who doesn’t have a vision for his own future or doesn’t support your dreams. It won’t only make you unhappy but it will hold you back from success.

5) Lack of communication

Communication – it’s the lifeblood of any relationship. Sounds cliché, I know, but it’s the truth.

I’ve seen many relationships falter due to lack of effective communication. It’s not just about talking, but understanding and empathizing with each other.

There was a time when I was in a relationship where my words fell on deaf ears. It was like talking to a brick wall – frustrating and exhausting.

If your man isn’t open to constructive conversations, or if he shuts down every time you bring up something important, take heed.

Psychologists agree that open communication reduces conflict and increases intimacy in a relationship.

6) Dishonesty

Dishonesty is a deal breaker, period. It erodes trust and can quickly turn a promising relationship sour.

I recall being in a relationship where I discovered a web of lies. It was like being hit by a freight train. The hurt from the betrayal was far worse than the truth would have been.

Honesty is the foundation of any successful relationship. When dishonesty becomes a pattern, it undermines the very foundation of your connection and can lead to ongoing distrust and emotional pain.

Trust and transparency should never be compromised; they are essential for a healthy, fulfilling partnership.

7) Emotional manipulation

This one is a hard pill to swallow, but it’s vital to address. Emotional manipulation is a silent killer of relationships.

Emotional manipulators use guilt, gaslighting, and other tactics to control and belittle you

They might make you:

  • Question your own perceptions or emotions
  • Distort reality
  • Exploit your vulnerabilities for their gain

This form of manipulation isn’t just hurtful—it’s a form of emotional abuse that can leave profound scars on your self-esteem and sense of self-worth.

I’ve seen it, I’ve experienced it, and I can tell you this – no one deserves to be manipulated. It’s a toxic trait that should never be tolerated.

If your man tries to control or manipulate your feelings for his own benefit, stand up for yourself. You’re stronger than you think and you deserve so much better.

Finishing thoughts

Choosing a partner is one of the most important decisions you’ll make, and it’s essential to prioritize your happiness and well-being.

By recognizing and avoiding certain negative personality traits, you can save yourself from heartache and frustration down the road.

To further delve into these insights, I recommend watching Justin Brown’s insightful video on understanding the complexities of finding a life partner.

He shares personal experiences and lessons learned, emphasizing the importance of shared values, growth, and mutual support in a relationship.

YouTube video

Your happiness is worth fighting for, and the right partner will enhance your life, not complicate it. Stay true to yourself and your standards, and you’ll find the fulfilling relationship you deserve.

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