Have you ever been to a friend’s house and noticed they’ve cooked enough food for a small army — even if only a few guests are coming?

It’s tempting to chalk it up to generosity or poor portion control.

But there can be deeper reasons behind this habit, often tracing back to early life experiences.

I’ve heard countless stories of people who, as kids, faced scarcity or anxiety or learned that love is best shown through heaping plates.

Now as adults, they keep preparing more than enough “just in case.” It might provide comfort or a sense of security.

Sometimes, they barely realize they’re doing it — until they look at a mountain of leftovers and think, “Oops, I did it again.”

If you’re scratching your head, wondering why you or someone you know always overcook, here are seven childhood experiences that often shape this habit.

1. Food insecurity during childhood

The most obvious reason is having grown up with little to eat.

If there was never enough food on the table, you might develop a lingering fear of hunger.

As an adult, you counter that old fear by overshooting your meal preparations.

Even if you have a steady income now, there’s that nagging thought: “I don’t want to run out.”

So you buy extra groceries and cook massive portions.

It’s your subconscious saying, “Let’s never face that empty pantry again.”

One friend of mine told me she’d worry every night if her family would have breakfast in the morning.

Today, she can’t host a gathering without enough to feed people twice over. She’s aware it’s tied to her past, but it still feels comforting to have excess.

2. Equating love with abundance

Some families show love through food.

Grandmothers who pile plates high, moms who force second helpings, uncles who bring an entire potluck’s worth of dishes — sound familiar?

If you grew up in a household where “more food” equaled “I love you,” then cooking large amounts becomes second nature.

It’s not just about filling bellies — it’s a form of emotional expression.

Sure, you can say “I love you” in words, but in many cultures, the real proof comes in the form of an overflowing table.

So as an adult, you might unconsciously repeat that pattern, ensuring no one ever leaves your home hungry—or even close to it.

This can be wonderful for building warmth at gatherings.
Yet, it can be challenging if it leads to waste or guilt around throwing food away.
Striking a balance between abundant hospitality and mindful portions is key.

3. A pattern of overcompensating

Here’s where I don’t want to skip something crucial: often, over-preparing food is part of a bigger habit of overcompensation.

Maybe you felt overlooked as a child, or you tried to earn approval by going “above and beyond.”

I used to think preparing too much was just a quirk until I took Rudá Iandê’s “Free Your Mind” masterclass.

I used to be skeptical of self-development courses, but I realized how some of my behaviors — like overdoing tasks — stemmed from a need to prove myself worthy.

The exercises in that class helped me see that I was equating effort with value.

Overcooking was one small way I tried to say, “Look, I’m doing more than enough.”

If you grew up feeling not quite enough — maybe a sibling overshadowed you, or your parents set high expectations — you might now aim to show you’re more than capable.

Cooking triple portions is one subtle way to demonstrate you can handle things (and then some).

4. Memories of chaotic mealtimes

Some families have disorganized or unpredictable meal routines.

One sibling might eat the last slice of pizza before you get any, or dinner time shifts wildly day to day.

That sort of chaos can leave you craving stability.

When you’re older, you might create a hyper-organized kitchen with plenty of extra food.

You ensure no one’s fighting over the last chicken piece or scraping the empty ice cream tub.

It’s a vow never to revisit that “I missed out” feeling.

In adulthood, that might look like multiple meal plans in one week, or cooking “just in case” someone else wants seconds or thirds.

You might not even notice how it ties back to those scrambled dinners from your youth until you stop to think about it.

5. A role model who always cooked big

If you grew up watching your father, mother, or another caregiver consistently over-prepare food, you might assume that’s the norm.

Children learn by observing.

So if your parent always made ten servings for a family of four, you might follow suit without question.

In some households, that excess was a safety net — leftovers for the next day.

In others, it was a cultural tradition.

Either way, those routines can sink in.

I recall a friend whose mother insisted on enough pasta to last the entire week.

He thought that was typical.

When he started living on his own, guess what he did?

Bought a colossal pot and made enough pasta to feed half his dorm. It took him ages to realize he was simply mimicking his mom’s approach.

6. Lack of control in other areas

Sometimes, over-preparing food is about control.

If you grew up feeling powerless—maybe parents were strict, or life felt chaotic—you might latch onto tasks where you’re the boss.

In the kitchen, you call the shots.

Cooking big meals can offer a sense of mastery.

You decide the portions, ingredients, and distribution.

In a world that often feels unpredictable, your pot and ladle give you a feeling of authority and order.

This isn’t harmful by default.

It can even be therapeutic.

But if you find you’re excessively cooking and stressing over meal plans, it might be a clue that deeper emotions about control are swirling underneath.

7. Hunger for validation

Lastly, some who overcook are seeking praise or gratitude—consciously or not.

They want that “Wow, this is amazing!” or “You really went all out!” moment.

When they were kids, maybe they didn’t receive much positive feedback unless they did something spectacular.

Cooking elaborate feasts is one way they ensure compliments.

It’s a path to feeling seen and appreciated.

Over time, it becomes a cycle: make a huge spread, hear the applause, then repeat.

There’s nothing wrong with enjoying recognition for a meal well done.

But if you depend on that affirmation to feel good, it can become exhausting.

Sometimes, learning to find internal validation — saying “I did well” without outside input — is a healthier long-term strategy.

Embracing awareness to reshape habits

If you see yourself in more than one of these points, there’s no need to panic or judge yourself harshly.

I’m learning as I go, too.

Sometimes, cooking big is a form of love or a cultural expression. Other times, it’s tied to deeper childhood experiences that shape how we behave now.

Awareness is the first step.

It can help you decide if you want to continue these patterns or balance them.

I still enjoy making plenty for my guests, but I’ve learned to check if it’s coming from a place of generosity — or from an old insecurity.

That self-awareness might come from reflection, talking with friends, or exploring resources that help unravel childhood triggers.

At the end of the day, preparing too much food isn’t a crime.

But it’s worth asking: “Am I doing this because I truly want to? Or because of something I experienced as a kid?”

That realization can transform a simple habit into a doorway for personal growth.