Many of us go years putting other people’s needs ahead of our own.

It can feel noble or even necessary, especially if we’re taught from a young age to value self-sacrifice.

Yet there often comes a point when you look back and see the toll it’s taken on your well-being.

You realize you sidelined your own dreams, health, and identity.

If you continue down that path indefinitely, you might find yourself carrying regrets that could have been avoided by setting healthier boundaries and placing your needs on the list—if not at the top.

Below are 7 common regrets people face when they never prioritize themselves.

If this resonates, take a moment to reflect on whether you’re giving yourself permission to live fully and intentionally.

1. Letting other people’s needs overshadow your growth

When you consistently push your desires aside to accommodate everyone else, your own growth can stall.

You may wake up one day and wonder how you ended up so far from the life you once imagined. While caring for others is admirable, an unbalanced approach can erode your personal development.

I recall reading Mark Manson’s perspective on personal responsibility. He once wrote that taking ownership of our choices is key to shaping our destiny.

If you never put yourself first, you risk living someone else’s story instead of your own.

This often includes career moves you never pursued, classes you never took, or adventures you never allowed yourself to have.

When you’re always serving other people’s agendas, you might become resentful or unfulfilled, even if you can’t pinpoint the reason.

That’s why it’s worth asking: “Am I giving myself space to grow, or am I perpetually stunted by fear of disappointing others?”

2. Missing out on passions

Passions fuel our sense of wonder and purpose.

They can be as big as a life-long dream—like writing a book, traveling the world, or starting a business—or as small as a hobby that brings you genuine joy.

When you perpetually place these passions on the back burner, you risk looking back later and seeing an empty space where your creativity should have flourished.

Some of us talk ourselves out of these pursuits by labeling them “frivolous.”

We tell ourselves we need to focus on real responsibilities instead.

Yet research highlights how engaging in a hobby or creative project can reduce stress, improve mental health, and even foster better social connections.

If you never prioritize what lights you up, you might find a dull ache in your soul as the years pass.

It’s that nagging feeling that you could’ve done something deeply meaningful or enjoyable but chose practicality or people-pleasing instead.

Even carving out thirty minutes a day for a small passion project can spark renewed energy and a greater sense of fulfillment. 

3. Neglecting your health

Many of us only realize the gravity of our health when something goes wrong.

If you constantly place others’ demands over your own basic needs—skipping sleep to finish work, ignoring medical checkups because you’re too busy, or stress-eating to cope—you may pay the price later.

Chronic stress contributes to many health issues, including heart disease, obesity, and mental health disorders.

I’ve seen people who put off medical appointments for months (or years) just to accommodate family schedules. They run themselves ragged trying to keep everything afloat.

Eventually, they might develop conditions that force them to slow down. By that point, the damage can be harder to reverse.

Placing your well-being first occasionally can be a preventative measure rather than a selfish act.

It might mean:

• Blocking out time for a daily walk or a weekly yoga class.
• Politely declining a late-night meeting so you can get enough rest.

Yes, others might have to adjust.

But in the long run, healthy boundaries create a more sustainable lifestyle, allowing you to show up more effectively for the people who need you.

4. Diminished self-esteem

When you never put yourself first, it’s easy to lose sight of your own worth.

You might start believing that your feelings don’t matter as much as everyone else’s.

This erodes self-esteem.

You become the person who’s always willing to compromise or step aside. Eventually, you might forget you have any say at all.

This cycle can lead to a distorted self-image. If you’re constantly reinforcing the idea that your needs are secondary, you might internalize that message, feeling unimportant or even invisible.

High self-esteem isn’t about arrogance; it’s about acknowledging that you deserve respect, love, and consideration—just like everyone else.

Brené Brown once said that shame feeds on secrecy.

If you hide your real feelings and consistently tell yourself you’re unworthy of top priority, shame creeps in.

You might feel guilty for even thinking about doing something solely for you.

The antidote often lies in small, deliberate acts of self-appreciation:

Praising yourself for tackling a challenge, asking for help when you need it, or simply saying “no” to requests that overextend you.

Each time you affirm your own right to well-being, you chip away at self-doubt.

5. Relationship imbalance

Ironically, never putting yourself first can strain relationships.

When you continually give and never express your own needs, you create a dynamic where the other person gets used to you always being available.

They might not even realize they’re taking advantage of your generosity.

Over time, resentment can build, and communication breaks down.

Studies suggest that when partners (or friends, or family members) fail to engage in mindful communication, an imbalance sets in.

If you’re always the one who listens, sacrifices and adapts, you might eventually pull away out of exhaustion or frustration.

Putting yourself first in a relationship context means clarifying your boundaries.

It doesn’t mean becoming indifferent to your loved one’s feelings. It means ensuring there’s space for your perspective and your well-being.

When both parties understand each other’s limits and aspirations, the relationship can grow stronger.

6. Chronic stress and burnout

Constantly putting others ahead of yourself can lead to burnout, a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion brought on by prolonged stress.

You might feel drained, unmotivated, and detached from the things you once cared about.

When your own needs never make it onto your daily to-do list, your well of energy and resilience eventually runs dry.

According to the Harvard Business Review, burnout isn’t limited to high-pressure work environments.

It also emerges in caretakers, parents, students, and anyone who feels overwhelmed by obligations.

Pushing through chronic stress without pause can lead to health complications, emotional instability, and even struggles with depression or anxiety.

A sustainable way to prevent burnout is to schedule “rest stops” in your routine.

That might mean ten minutes of deep breathing, a day off from constant texting or emailing, or a digital-free evening once a week.

These small moments of recalibration remind your mind and body that you matter, and that you’re not just a tool for other people’s demands.

7. Fading sense of purpose

The purpose is often tied to how much space we carve out for the things that bring us fulfillment and align with our core values.

If you never place yourself front and center, you might lose your guiding sense of purpose.

You become reactive, merely responding to external pressures rather than acting on internal motivations.

For example, you might once have had a dream to start a small business or move to a new city.

Yet life responsibilities piled up, and you kept postponing your aspirations.

Eventually, you forget the initial spark that set you on that path. You drift, which can result in a vague dissatisfaction that’s hard to articulate.

Reconnecting with purpose doesn’t necessarily mean making drastic changes overnight.

It can start with journaling about what genuinely excites you or reevaluating the commitments on your plate.

Even a minor adjustment—like dedicating an hour each weekend to learning a new skill—can revive that sense of direction.

Final thoughts

Regret is often described as a sense of longing for a different outcome, a path you didn’t take, or a voice you never used.

To avoid these regrets, it’s crucial to recognize that self-prioritization is a form of respect — for yourself and for the relationships you care about.

You can show love and generosity to others while still placing your own needs at the forefront when necessary.

That balance isn’t always easy, but it’s worth pursuing.

Here are 3 simple ways to begin:

• Carve out a small block of “me time” daily (even if it’s just 15 minutes).
• Practice saying “no” at least once a week when a request drains your resources.
• Check in with your emotions regularly to see if you’re ignoring your own well-being.

These small steps can remind you that self-care fuels the best version of you—a version that can extend genuine support to others without losing sight of who you are.

If any of the regrets listed above strike a chord, consider giving yourself permission to adjust your priorities.

Life is too precious to spend it on autopilot, always placing yourself last.