8 phrases that reveal someone’s true intentions, according to psychology

Understanding people’s true intentions isn’t always easy, especially when they’re trying to hide them.
But, as it turns out, psychology can help us decode people’s hidden motives.
Sometimes, it’s the words they use that give them away. You just have to know what to listen for.
According to psychology, there are certain phrases that can hint at someone’s real agenda. And once you know these phrases, you can become a human lie detector.
Let’s delve into the world of psychology and discover these 8 phrases that reveal someone’s true intentions.
1) “Trust me…”
Decoding people’s intentions is a big part of psychology.
One phrase that often gives away someone’s hidden motives is “trust me.”
“Trust me,” might sound reassuring, but according to psychologists, it can sometimes be a red flag.
The thing is that people with genuine intentions don’t usually need to ask for trust – it’s given naturally based on their actions and behavior.
In essence, actions speak louder than words.
When someone repeatedly uses the phrase “trust me,” it could indicate that they’re trying to convince you of something that may not be entirely true.
Keep this in mind the next time you hear those words and remember – it’s actions that truly reveal a person’s intentions.
2) “I’m not being defensive…”
Another phrase that psychologists suggest might reveal someone’s true intentions is “I’m not being defensive…”
Reflecting on a personal encounter, I remember raising concerns with a colleague about their failing to meet deadlines.
They immediately responded with, “I’m not being defensive, but I have a lot on my plate.”
The phrase was a clear sign that they were indeed being defensive and their true intention was to avoid taking responsibility.
Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, once said:
“He that has eyes to see and ears to hear may convince himself that no mortal can keep a secret. If his lips are silent, he chatters with his fingertips; betrayal oozes out of him at every pore.”
It’s an eloquent reminder that the truth often finds its way out, even through our choice of phrases.
So, when someone insists they’re not being defensive, it might be a clear indication they’re trying to deflect criticism or avoid addressing an issue.
3) “I don’t want to hurt you…”
Here’s a phrase that’s often a red flag – “I don’t want to hurt you…”
This phrase can be veiled in concern, but it’s often a precursor to something that’s going to do just that – hurt you.
It’s a common way of shirking responsibility, of setting up a scenario where they can’t be blamed for the hurt that follows.
This idea is closely related to what Albert Ellis, a significant figure in the field of psychology, once said:
“The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.”
Applying this wisdom, when someone says, “I don’t want to hurt you,” it’s often an attempt to control the narrative and shift the responsibility.
It’s their way of saying: “I warned you, so if you get hurt, it’s not my fault.”
Raw honesty can be uncomfortable, but it’s necessary when deciphering true intentions.
4) “I’m just saying…”
Let’s talk about another phrase that often masks true intentions – “I’m just saying…”
In my experience, this phrase usually precedes or follows a statement that’s meant to downplay the impact of what’s been said.
It’s as if they’re trying to distance themselves from the implications of their words.
When someone uses “I’m just saying…” it’s often an attempt to voice criticism or harsh truths without taking full ownership of those words.
It’s their way of hinting at their true feelings while still maintaining plausible deniability.
So, the next time you hear “I’m just saying…”, consider it a signal that there’s more to what they’re saying than meets the eye.
5) “To be honest…”
The phrase “To be honest…” is a curious one. You’d think it signals sincerity, but according to psychologists, it can often reveal the opposite.
People with genuine intentions typically don’t need to preface their statements with such phrases.
Honesty should be the standard, not an exception that needs to be highlighted.
And I’m pretty sure that when someone repeatedly uses “To be honest…”, they’re not truthful — they just feel the need to specify when they are.
It’s a subtle way of distancing themselves from the honesty of their previous statements.
So contrary to what you might expect, “To be honest…” isn’t always a sign of honesty.
It could be an unconscious admission of the contrary – quite the psychological paradox!
6) “I’m fine…”
“I’m fine…” is a phrase we’re all familiar with, and according to psychologists, it’s one that often masks true feelings.
When someone repeatedly insists they’re “fine,” despite their behavior suggesting otherwise, they might be hiding their genuine emotions.
According to Abraham Maslow, “What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.”
This applies here too. Often, people use “I’m fine…” as a defense mechanism to avoid facing their true feelings or issues.
So, here’s the thing:
The next time someone insists they’re “fine,” especially when their actions suggest otherwise, consider it a potential sign that there’s more going on beneath the surface.
It might not reveal exactly what they’re feeling, but it certainly suggests they’re not revealing their true intentions or emotions.
7) “No offense, but…”
This next phrase is one I’ve come across quite often – “No offense, but…”
It’s almost universally used as a buffer before saying something that is, in fact, offensive or hurtful.
It’s as though the speaker believes this preface absolves them of the impact of their words.
After all, it’s easier to fight for one’s principles than to live up to them, right?
Well, this phrase is often a telltale sign that someone is struggling to live up to the principle of being respectful and considerate in their communication.
So when you hear “No offense, but…”, brace yourself. It’s likely that the speaker is trying to mask their true intentions of delivering a potentially hurtful statement.
It’s their way of trying to deflect responsibility for the offense they’re about to cause.
8) “Maybe it’s just me, but…”
“A man with a conviction is a hard man to change.”
— Psychologist Leon Festinger
Our final phrase is one that’s often overlooked – “Maybe it’s just me, but…”
This phrase might seem harmless, but it’s often used to subtly express criticism or controversial opinion while deflecting any potential backlash.
Having Festinger’s famous quote in mind, when someone uses this phrase, they’re likely voicing a deep-seated belief or opinion but framing it as a personal quirk to avoid conflict or disagreement.
The raw truth is that “Maybe it’s just me, but…” is often a veiled attempt to express criticism or share an unpopular opinion.
That way, they are testing the waters without fully diving into the potential controversy their true intentions might cause.
Final thoughts: Decoding intentions through words
Words have power — not just to communicate but to reveal the truths we might otherwise miss.
The way someone speaks, the phrases they choose, and the tone they use can often be the key to understanding their deeper intentions.
By paying closer attention to these subtle cues, you can navigate relationships with greater clarity and confidence.
Here’s what to keep in mind:
- Patterns matter: One offhand phrase might not mean much, but consistent language tells a bigger story.
- Context is key: The same words can have different meanings depending on the situation—always consider the bigger picture.
- Trust your intuition: If someone’s words don’t align with their actions, it’s worth looking closer.
Understanding someone’s true intentions doesn’t require confrontation or mistrust.
It’s about staying aware, trusting yourself, and choosing relationships that bring out the best in you.