Have you ever come across someone who’s always “on”?

They clock insanely long hours, skip social events, and act like they’re married to their work — yet drop hints that they’d love more free time?

It’s an interesting paradox. They’ll say things like “I’m crushing it at the office,” while quietly yearning for a weekend off that doesn’t involve emails or spreadsheets.

Below are 8 behaviors that often show up in workaholics who crave balance but still pretend to love the grind, based on psychological insights and my own observations.

01 They glorify “hustle” culture while secretly yearning for downtime

“Hustle hard” isn’t just a phrase for these folks; it’s practically a mantra.

They post motivational quotes about grinding on social media, embrace “team no sleep,” and talk endlessly about their workload.

Underneath the bravado, many of them admit they’d prefer a more relaxed schedule. They just can’t shake the guilt they feel whenever they’re not working.

So they overcompensate, convincing themselves (and others) that working nonstop is noble or even glamorous.

I’ve known people who brag about working on vacation, like it’s some sort of badge of honor.

In reality, they return from these so-called “vacations” more stressed than before.

That kind of hustle worship usually leads to burnout, not success.

02 They overestimate their busyness

Some folks who claim they’ve got “no time” for anything are often found mindlessly scrolling through their phones during breaks.

Yet they’ll say they’re too buried to meet up for coffee or pursue a hobby.

Psychologists refer to this as “perceived busyness.”

It’s when you frame your day around how many obligations you have, ignoring the moments where you actually do have free time.

It’s a subtle way to justify your workaholic tendencies — if you believe you’re swamped, you won’t question how you’re spending your hours.

Thus, it’s like they’re stuck in a loop, always insisting, “I’m slammed.”

In truth, the human brain can’t work 24/7 at peak efficiency.

All that “constant” work might be riddled with distractions and lowered productivity.

03 They seek validation through professional achievements

Professional success can be an easy way to measure worth.

If you hit this sales target or snag that promotion, it feels tangible — unlike relationships or leisure, which can be harder to quantify.

Workaholics who secretly crave balance often get hooked on the quick hits of validation that come from an email praising their efforts or a fancy new job title.

But they’re left chasing the next hit, much like a hamster on a wheel.

You’ve probably heard, “Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants,” courtesy of Epictetus.

It’s a solid reminder that if you rely on external achievements for self-worth, you might spend your whole life chasing satisfaction without ever truly landing on it.

04 They turn to work to avoid personal issues

Have you ever noticed how, when life at home gets complicated, some people suddenly pick up more shifts or volunteer for additional projects?

It’s like they’re hiding from personal stuff behind a wall of spreadsheets and deadlines.

That’s what I realized after I took Ruda Iande’s “Free Your Mind” masterclass.

I used to think I was just ambitious, but an exercise in the course made me see that I piled on extra assignments whenever I was upset about something unrelated to work.

Immersing myself in tasks was easier than facing the real issue.

It’s a common pattern:

Ignoring emotional baggage by “doubling down” at the office.

And hey, it can look admirable from the outside — until you’re burned out and still have unresolved personal conflicts lurking in the background.

05 They constantly compare themselves to peers

Workaholics who silently crave balance often keep an eye on what others are doing.

They feel they have to keep up or surpass colleagues, friends, or even random people on social media.

If someone else is pulling a 12-hour day, they’ll do 13—even if their body’s screaming for rest.

Social comparison is a well-documented psychological trigger for overwork. You convince yourself that success requires outdoing everyone else.

There’s no endgame, though, because you can always find someone with a fancier title or bigger paycheck.

As Alan Watts once said, “Better to have a short life that is full of what you like doing than a long life spent in a miserable way.”

He wasn’t saying you shouldn’t work hard. He was suggesting that mindlessly trying to outdo everyone might lead you to a life that doesn’t feel fulfilling.

06 They believe stress is a mark of importance

“I’m stressed, but that means I matter,” is a narrative that sometimes creeps in.

I’ve mentioned this before in a previous post: there’s a misconception that if you’re not stressed, you’re not doing enough. As if chronic stress is the surest sign you’re a key player in your field.

This belief is deeply ingrained in certain work cultures.

Walking around looking frazzled or forgetting to eat lunch can be seen as heroic.

But from a health standpoint, chronic stress is basically a slow poison. Studies tie it to sleep issues, heart problems, and anxiety — all of which crush productivity in the long run.

If you catch yourself wearing stress like a medal, it might be a good time to question whether you’re chasing an illusion.

Is this approach sustainable or even beneficial?

07 They say “just one more task” but never really stop

It starts with something small: “I’ll just shoot off one more email,” or “Let me finalize these slides.”

But one task bleeds into another.

Before you know it, you’re “accidentally” pulling a late-night shift again, even after promising yourself you’d log off earlier.

Workaholics who want balance yet resist it often keep the door open for more tasks to slip in. It’s like they’re building a habit of never truly clocking out, using the excuse of “just one more thing.”

This habit can be addictive, making it tough to break free and switch off your work mindset.

A friend of mine would regularly postpone dinner plans because “something came up.”

In reality, that “something” was often a self-imposed deadline or a task that could wait until tomorrow.

But waiting felt uncomfortable — he was too used to living in a constant state of busyness.

08 They struggle to envision a life beyond work

Even though they crave balance, they can’t quite picture what they’d do with extra free time.

They might say things like, “I’d love to travel,” or “I should really get back to painting,” but they don’t actually plan for it.

It remains a vague fantasy instead of a realistic goal.

Some workaholics fear that without the structure of work, they’ll lose their sense of identity.

They’ve poured so much of themselves into their careers that stepping away, even for a few days, feels like an identity crisis waiting to happen.

Marcus Aurelius wrote, “You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”

In a world that champions hustle, reclaiming your downtime can feel countercultural. But it’s precisely that mindset shift that can lead to real fulfillment.

Rounding things off

Craving balance yet flexing the “I love the grind” persona is more common than you might think.

Sometimes, it’s rooted in self-esteem issues, sometimes it’s fear of confronting personal stuff, and sometimes it’s all about chasing external validation.

When I noticed these patterns in myself, I used work to dodge emotional baggage.

Taking Ruda Iande’s free masterclass helped me realize how many limiting beliefs I carried about success and self-worth.

I liked the free course so much that I enrolled in Ruda’s Out Of The Box course. It opened my eyes to the possibility that a balanced life doesn’t have to mean losing ambition — it can actually deepen your sense of purpose.

If you spot yourself or someone else embodying these eight behaviors, know that you’re not stuck in grind mode forever.

Change often starts with the simple act of recognizing the problem, and then taking incremental steps toward healthier boundaries, genuine self-reflection, and building a life that feels aligned—both in and out of the office.

Here’s to working hard, yes, but also living fully. Because there’s a lot more to life than to-do lists and late-night emails.