We’ve all met someone who seemed great at first. Charming. Friendly. Easy to talk to.

But over time, something starts to feel off. You can’t quite put your finger on it, but your gut says something isn’t right.

Psychology tells us that trust isn’t just about whether someone lies or tells the truth. It’s about patterns of behavior that either build or erode our sense of safety with them.

And often, the red flags are subtle.

Let’s break down eight psychological signs that someone might not be as trustworthy as they first appear.

1) Their stories don’t quite add up

Ever noticed how some people’s stories change slightly every time they tell them?

It’s not always intentional lying. Sometimes it’s an unconscious attempt to manipulate how others perceive them.

Psychologists call this “impression management.” It’s when people tweak the truth just enough to look better, smarter, or more likable.

Everyone does it to some degree, but when the inconsistencies pile up, that’s a warning sign.

If someone often contradicts themselves or gets defensive when you ask for clarification, that’s your cue to pay attention.

A trustworthy person has no reason to twist the facts.

2) They overemphasize how honest they are

Here’s a strange one. Truly trustworthy people rarely feel the need to tell you they’re trustworthy.

But manipulators? They’ll often go out of their way to say things like “I’m just being honest” or “I’d never lie to you.”

According to research on deception, people who lie tend to use more “truth emphasis” phrases because they’re subconsciously trying to convince both you and themselves of their credibility.

In other words, the more someone insists on their honesty, the more skeptical you should be.

It’s like that old saying: if someone keeps telling you they’re a nice person, they probably aren’t.

3) They avoid accountability

Trustworthy people own their mistakes.

Untrustworthy ones? They blame, deflect, or go silent.

Psychologically, this ties into what’s called a locus of control. People with an external locus of control blame outside forces for everything.

They’ll say things like, “It’s not my fault,” or “You made me do it.”

Meanwhile, those with an internal locus take responsibility. They acknowledge their role, learn from it, and move forward.

If someone constantly shifts blame, it’s not just frustrating. It’s a red flag that they can’t be trusted to handle responsibility honestly.

4) They’re overly charming at first

Charm can be a powerful tool. But psychology has long noted that people who rely on excessive charm early on, before trust has been earned, are often doing it for a reason.

It’s what researchers call ingratiation, a tactic used to gain favor through flattery or exaggerated warmth.

Narcissists and manipulators often use this strategy to fast-track emotional intimacy.

They’ll mirror your interests, compliment you constantly, and seem to “get” you right away.

But what they’re really doing is building a sense of trust that hasn’t been earned.

If someone seems too good to be true early on, slow down. Genuine connection takes time.

5) Their empathy feels performative

There’s a big difference between genuine empathy and surface-level empathy.

You can usually tell by how someone responds when it’s inconvenient for them.

Do they check in when you’re struggling, or only when it benefits them? Do they listen deeply, or do they jump to make it about themselves?

Psychologists describe this as emotional reciprocity. Healthy relationships have balance. Both people care, both listen.

But when one person fakes empathy to manipulate emotions or gain social capital, it’s often a form of emotional mimicry, not real concern.

Trustworthy people show consistency in their compassion. The others just perform it when the spotlight’s on.

6) They gossip or talk badly about others

It’s simple but revealing. If someone freely talks trash about others, they’ll likely do the same about you.

From a psychological standpoint, gossiping serves as a social bonding tool. But it can also signal insecurity and a lack of integrity.

Research shows that people who gossip excessively often use it to elevate their social status or manipulate others’ opinions.

If someone uses gossip as their main currency for connection, be careful.

Today it’s about someone else. Tomorrow it could be about you.

You can usually tell a lot about a person’s trustworthiness by how they speak about those who aren’t around to defend themselves.

7) They’re inconsistent with their values

Have you ever met someone who preaches honesty or loyalty, but their actions tell a different story?

Psychologists call this cognitive dissonance, when there’s a mismatch between someone’s beliefs and behaviors.

Most of us experience it occasionally, but those who are untrustworthy often live in that contradiction.

For example, someone who claims to “hate drama” but constantly stirs it up. Or someone who values “transparency,” yet hides things when it suits them.

Pay attention to these inconsistencies.

Trustworthy people align their words and actions, even when it’s inconvenient.

Untrustworthy people say what sounds good, not what’s true.

8) You feel uneasy around them (even if you can’t explain why)

Here’s something many people overlook. Your gut is smarter than you think.

According to research from the University of Iowa, our brain’s emotional centers often pick up on subtle cues long before our conscious mind does.

This means that the uneasy feeling you get around someone might be your subconscious detecting micro-signals of insincerity, such as tone shifts, body language, or facial tension.

I’ve experienced this myself more than once.

Someone would seem perfectly nice, but something in me just didn’t trust them. Later, I’d find out they’d been manipulative or deceitful behind the scenes.

Your intuition isn’t magical. It’s psychological pattern recognition.

If you feel something’s off, listen to it.

Final words

Trust is one of the most valuable currencies in human relationships. It takes time to build, but only seconds to break.

The truth is, untrustworthy people aren’t always obvious. They’re often skilled at hiding behind charm, confidence, or emotional intelligence.

That’s why self-awareness is your best defense.

By understanding these psychological signs, you start to notice patterns, not because you’re paranoid, but because you’re paying attention.

And while it’s important to give people the benefit of the doubt, it’s just as important to protect your peace.

As one of my favorite Buddhist teachers once said, “Compassion doesn’t mean letting someone walk all over you. It means seeing clearly and choosing wisely.”

Trust wisely. Observe actions, not words. And never ignore that quiet feeling in your gut telling you something’s not quite right.