We all seek happiness, yet despite our best efforts, it often remains elusive.

Why is that?

The answer might lie in the myths we’ve been taught to believe about happiness—myths that shape our expectations and guide us down the wrong path.

From suppressing negative emotions to the notion that happiness is a destination, these misconceptions can trap us in cycles of frustration and disappointment.

By unlearning eight common myths, you can begin to uncover a deeper, more authentic sense of fulfillment – one that isn’t dependent on fleeting moments or external achievements!

1) Happiness is a destination

One of the most common misconceptions is that happiness is a destination.

We often find ourselves saying, “I’ll be happy when I get that promotion,” or “I’ll be content when I buy that new car.”

But here’s the truth: happiness isn’t something we reach. It’s not an end goal to chase after.

Instead, happiness is a journey, a day-to-day process that comes from appreciating what we have and cultivating a positive mindset.

Fixating on future accomplishments for happiness only sets us up for disappointment. Because once we reach that goal, we’ll simply create another one, perpetuating the cycle of chasing happiness.

2) Money equals happiness

Another myth that we often fall for is the idea that money equals happiness.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I remember my days as a struggling entrepreneur, when I had to juggle bills, and every extra dollar truly did make a difference.

But once we reach a certain level of financial stability, piling up more wealth doesn’t necessarily bring more joy.

It’s easy to get caught up in the cycle of wanting more – a bigger house, a newer car, a fatter bank account. But these things don’t bring lasting happiness.

In my personal journey, I’ve found that beyond meeting my basic needs and ensuring a comfortable life, chasing after money ceased to bring me the happiness I thought it would.

Instead, building meaningful relationships and pursuing passions have brought more joy and satisfaction.

3) Happiness is constant

One of the biggest myths we need to debunk is the notion that happiness is a constant state.

We often expect to be happy all the time and consider any negative emotion as a sign of failure.

This is simply not true.

Life is full of ups and downs, and it’s natural to experience a range of emotions. We can’t expect to be constantly happy, and it’s okay to have bad days.

In my book “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego“, I delve deeper into how Buddhism views happiness.

It embraces the impermanence of life and teaches us to accept both joy and suffering as integral parts of our existence.

Trying to maintain a constant state of happiness is not only unrealistic, but it also prevents us from fully experiencing life.

It’s crucial to understand that it’s okay not to be okay sometimes.

4) Happiness comes from self-indulgence

We often believe that indulging in our desires – be it a shopping spree, eating our favorite foods, or watching endless hours of our favorite TV show – will bring us happiness.

While these activities may offer temporary pleasure, they don’t contribute to long-term happiness.

True happiness is more related to self-growth and meaningful experiences than to self-indulgence.

Engaging in activities that challenge us, help us grow, and contribute to a larger purpose are more likely to bring lasting happiness.

A study by psychologists Thomas Gilovich and Amit Kumar shows that people derive more happiness from experiences than from material possessions.

They found that experiences become a part of our identity and create meaningful memories, which contribute more to our happiness in the long run.

So next time you’re about to splurge on a new gadget, consider investing in a new experience instead. Our brains are built to be stimulated by experiences, not possessions.

5) Avoiding negative emotions brings happiness

It may seem counter-intuitive, but avoiding negative emotions doesn’t lead to happiness.

Society often tells us to suppress our sadness, anger, or fear in favor of projecting a positive, happy image.

However, experiencing a full range of emotions is part of being human. Negative emotions are not our enemies; they are signals that something needs our attention.

Psychologists emphasize the importance of emotional agility — the ability to navigate and be comfortable with all our emotions.

It involves acknowledging our feelings without getting overwhelmed by them, and using them as guides to understand what we need.

By learning to accept and work through our negative emotions, we can lead more fulfilling lives and experience genuine happiness.

6) Happiness is found in isolation

In our pursuit of happiness, we often think that solitude is the key.

We imagine ourselves finding peace and contentment away from the noise and demands of the world.

While solitude can indeed offer moments of reflection and peace, it’s crucial to remember that we are inherently social creatures. Our relationships with others significantly contribute to our sense of happiness and well-being.

Numerous psychological studies highlight the importance of social connections in our overall happiness.

Having meaningful relationships where we feel understood and valued can provide a sense of belonging, support, and purpose in our lives.

7) Happiness is synonymous with success

It’s easy to believe that success — whether in career, wealth, or accomplishments — equals happiness.

But this simply isn’t the case.

Many of us spend our lives chasing after societal standards of success, thinking it will bring us happiness.

We strive for that top-tier job, the big house, the shiny car, only to find that when we achieve these things, the happiness they bring is fleeting.

In fact, the relentless pursuit of success can often lead to stress and burnout, leaving us feeling empty and unfulfilled.

What truly matters for happiness is not how successful we are in the eyes of the world, but how we feel about ourselves and our lives.

It’s about finding joy in the simple moments, cultivating deep relationships, and pursuing passions that make us feel alive.

8) Happiness is about eliminating stress

Many of us believe that happiness comes from a stress-free life. It’s easy to think that if we can just remove all the stressors from our lives, we’ll finally be happy.

But stress, much like negative emotions, is a part of life. Trying to eliminate it completely is not only unrealistic, it could also be counterproductive.

Scientists have found that certain types of stress — like the kind you experience when you’re excited or challenged — can actually be beneficial. It can:

• Motivate us
• Help us perform under pressure
• Boost our learning and growth

So it’s not about eliminating stress entirely, but rather learning to manage and respond to it in a healthier way.

Wrapping it up: Reconsidering happiness

Happiness isn’t about perfection or constant joy; it’s about finding contentment in the present, accepting life’s ups and downs, and understanding that true fulfillment comes from within.

Unlearning these eight myths about happiness is a transformative process.

It allows you to step away from the pursuit of an idealized version of happiness that doesn’t truly exist, and embrace a more authentic and sustainable sense of well-being.

In my book “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego“, I delve deeper into these concepts.

I share insights from Buddhism that can help us lead more fulfilling lives by focusing on personal growth and mindfulness over material possessions and ego.