My partner doesn’t make me happy anymore, but I can’t decide whether to leave or stay. Here’s how I’m dealing with my dilemma.

Let me guess.
Your relationship isn’t what it used to be. The spark has dwindled, the laughter has quietened, and you’re left wondering, “Do they still make me happy?”
More often than not, the answer is a resounding “no”. But leaving? That’s not as straightforward. It’s as if you’re unwilling to stay, but you’re not ready to leave. If you’re finding yourself in this situation, you’re not alone.
Many of us – myself included – struggle with this relationship crossroad. And while I can’t tell you what to do, I can share how I’m navigating my own dilemma.
Maybe you’ll find some solace in my story…
…let’s see.
I’ve started to prioritize self-reflection
I’ve always been the type to brush things under the rug, preferring to avoid confrontation and deal with my feelings in private. But this time, I knew I had to confront my emotions head-on.
So, I began journaling. I wrote about my feelings of dissatisfaction and about the good times, too. It was like a personal therapy session. And you know what? It was incredibly revealing.
I realized that my unhappiness wasn’t just about my partner. It was also about me. I was ignoring my needs, suppressing my desires, and sacrificing my happiness for the sake of maintaining the status quo in our relationship.
I’ve tuned into the power of patience
Through this journey, I’ve discovered the incredible power of patience. It’s easy to rush into a decision when emotions are high and everything seems overwhelming. But taking a step back, breathing, and allowing myself time to process my feelings has made all the difference.
Every relationship has its ups and downs. No one is happy all the time. And that’s okay. What’s important is understanding that it’s okay to feel unhappy and that it doesn’t necessarily mean the end.
With that in mind, I’ve decided to be patient with myself and my partner. To allow space for growth and understanding, without the pressure of having to make an immediate decision.
I’ve made an attempt to reconnect with myself
In the midst of all this, I started to reconnect with myself. It’s funny how we can lose ourselves in a relationship, isn’t it?
I started doing things just for me. I picked up painting again, something I hadn’t done since college. I began taking long walks in the park, just enjoying the solitude and peace it offered.
Rediscovering who I was outside of my relationship gave me newfound confidence. It allowed me to see that no matter what decision I make, I’ll be okay. Because at the end of the day, I’m not defined by my relationship status, but by who I am as an individual.
I’ve learned to express myself
One of the most empowering things I’ve done during this journey is learning how to effectively express myself. It may sound simple, but it’s actually quite challenging.
I realized that I often held back my feelings, for fear of upsetting my partner or causing an argument. But by doing so, I was suppressing my own needs and emotions.
Therefore, I decided to take a stand and voice my feelings. Whether it’s expressing my dissatisfaction or sharing my joy, being vocal about my emotions has brought a new level of honesty into our relationship.
I’ve sought out professional help
This was a big step for me. But after weeks of wrestling with my feelings alone, I knew it was time to get help. So I sought out a therapist.
Let me tell you, it wasn’t easy. Opening up to a stranger about my relationship woes felt uncomfortable, even scary at times. But it was worth it.
My therapist didn’t tell me whether to stay or leave. Instead, she guided me towards understanding myself better, helping me see patterns in my behavior and how they were affecting my relationship.
In doing so, she equipped me with the tools to make an informed decision about my future. A decision that prioritized my happiness above all else.
It’s essential to have a support system
During this time, I’ve leaned heavily on my friends and family. Their support has been invaluable. They’ve been there to listen when I needed to vent, offered advice when asked, and given me the space to figure things out on my own terms.
Their love and support have reminded me that no matter what happens with my relationship, I’m not alone.
I’m focusing on the future
Rather than dwelling on the past or fretting about the present, I’ve started focusing on the future. What do I want from life? What are my goals? Where do I see myself in five years?
Asking these questions has helped me put things into perspective and realize that whether my relationship lasts or not, life goes on.
Final words: Self-love is every broken heart’s salvation
In a nutshell, perhaps the most significant lesson I’ve learned through all this is the importance of self-love. I’ve realized that I can’t truly be happy with someone else if I’m not happy with myself.
Slowly but steadily, I learned to treat myself with kindness and respect, and it has made a world of difference. I feel stronger and more capable of making the right decision for my future.
No matter what happens with my relationship, the journey I’ve had has been a valuable one. It’s taught me a lot about myself, about relationships, and about life in general. And for that, I am grateful.