Have you ever felt like no matter what you did, it just wasn’t good enough for someone close to you?

I know I have. Growing up, my mom was always critical of me. From my grades to my choice of friends, it seemed like her approval was always just out of reach.

It was like living in a constant state of trying to climb a mountain that just kept growing. And I have to admit, it left me with emotional scars. 

But through this journey, I’ve learned the art of letting go gracefully, and I want to share that with you today.

Before that, though, remember this: if you’re stuck in a similar situation, it’s okay to seek change. You’re not obligated to endure constant criticism.

So let’s take a deep breath and dive into my journey of learning to let go of my mother’s criticism – gracefully.

Understanding my mom’s perspective

The first step in my journey was trying to see things from my mom’s point of view.

I know, it sounds counterintuitive. Why would I want to understand the person who was constantly criticizing me?

But hear me out.

I began to realize that most of her criticism stemmed from her own insecurities and fears. She had a tough upbringing and, like many parents, she wanted to prevent me from having to face the same struggles.

To her, being critical was a way of ensuring I was always prepared, always striving for more.

Of course, it wasn’t easy to grasp this concept. It took a lot of patience, empathy, and countless cups of coffee with friends who shared similar experiences. 

But over time, understanding her perspective helped alleviate some of the hurt.

Acknowledging my own worth

This was probably the most challenging part of my journey – realizing that my self-worth is not tied to my mother’s criticism or approval.

I started slowly. I began by acknowledging small accomplishments – like sticking to a workout plan or finishing a book I’d been trying to read for months. 

Then, I started celebrating bigger feats like securing a promotion at work or managing a difficult project successfully.

Celebrate your wins, no matter how small they might seem! It sounds simple, but trust me, it’s revolutionary when you’ve been conditioned to only see your flaws.

Remember, your worth is not determined by someone else’s opinion of you. It’s in the small victories, the hard work you put into everything you do and the person you are becoming each day.

Therapy is a game-changer

Engaging in therapy was a turning point in my journey. Contrary to popular belief, seeking professional help isn’t a sign of weakness, but rather an act of courage. 

Research suggests that cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is highly effective in dealing with criticism from family members. It helps you understand the patterns of negative thinking and provides you with strategies to combat them. 

This proactive approach can significantly improve the way you handle criticism and ultimately, your overall emotional well-being.

Finding forgiveness

Forgiveness isn’t about excusing someone’s behavior, it’s about freeing yourself from the burden of resentment. It took me a while to understand this. Holding onto anger and bitterness towards my mom was like dragging a heavy weight everywhere I went.

It wasn’t easy, and it didn’t happen overnight. But gradually, I learned to forgive – not for her, but for my own peace of mind. I recognized that she did the best she could with what she knew and had at the time.

This newfound forgiveness didn’t erase the past, but it allowed me to move forward without the constant weight of resentment. It was a precious gift I gave to myself.

Setting boundaries

For a long time, I allowed my mom’s criticism to infiltrate every aspect of my life, causing anxiety and self-doubt. I realized I had to establish some boundaries to protect my mental health.

I started by expressing how her criticism made me feel and requested her to be more mindful of her words. It wasn’t an easy conversation, but it was necessary.

Over time, I also learned to distance myself when the criticism got too much. I’d politely excuse myself from the conversation or change the subject.

Slowly but surely, these boundaries helped create a healthier relationship between us.

Setting boundaries doesn’t mean you’re shutting people out. It means you’re taking care of yourself and your emotional well-being, which is just as important as any other aspect of your life.

Self-care and self-love

Dealing with constant criticism can be draining emotionally and physically. It’s crucial to take time for yourself, to recharge and rejuvenate.

I found solace in simple things like reading a book, taking a walk in the park, or even just taking a long, relaxing bath. These moments allowed me to reconnect with myself and reminded me of my worth outside of anyone else’s opinions.

Loving yourself is the first step to healing from any kind of emotional hurt.

Seeking support

Throughout this journey, another thing I learned is that it’s okay to seek support. Whether it’s from friends, family, or a professional counselor (as I mentioned earlier), having someone to talk to can be immensely helpful.

Sharing your feelings with others not only helps you feel less alone but also provides you with different perspectives on the situation. Sometimes, just hearing someone say “I understand” can make a world of difference.

Don’t hesitate to lean on the people who care about you. We all need help sometimes, and there’s no shame in asking for it.

Final thoughts

Letting go gracefully is a journey, not a destination. It involves understanding, forgiveness, setting boundaries, self-care, and seeking support. It may not always be easy, but it’s definitely worth it.

If you’ve had a similar experience, I hope you know that you’re more than the criticism you’ve received. You’re worthy of respect and love just as you are.

And most importantly, remember that it’s okay to let go and move forward towards a healthier and happier life.

I hope my journey inspires you to start yours. Remember, everyone’s path is different and that’s okay. Take the time you need, and know that you’re not alone in this.