If you’ve ever been in a relationship where the other person seemed to be constantly playing mind games, you’re not alone.

These manipulative tactics can leave you feeling disoriented, doubtful, and even questioning your own sanity.

Manipulation in relationships isn’t just an annoying habit. It’s an insidious form of emotional abuse.

But knowing what to look for can help. The field of psychology has identified some common strategies manipulators use in relationships.

In the following article, we’ll delve into these mind games and shed light on their tactics, so you can better recognize and handle them.

Let’s get started. 

1) Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a classic psychological manipulation technique.

It involves sowing seeds of doubt in a person’s mind, making them question their own memory, perception, or sanity.

In a relationship, a manipulator might use this tactic to disorient you and gain power.

For example, when confronted about a hurtful remark they’ve made, the manipulator might deny it ever happened or accuse you of being “too sensitive.”

Over time, this form of manipulation can lead to you doubting your own experiences and judgments.

It’s a way for the manipulator to control the narrative of the relationship and avoid taking responsibility for their actions.

The impact on you can be significant. Feeling constantly second-guessed, you may start to lose confidence in your ability to trust your own perceptions and judgments.

This is precisely what the manipulator wants – to shake your self-trust and increase their control over you.

Recognizing gaslighting when it happens is the first step towards countering its effects.

You’re not crazy or overly sensitive – you’re being manipulated, and it’s important to remember that.

2) Oversharing

Surprisingly, another manipulative tactic is oversharing or emotional dumping.

It might seem like a sign of trust or closeness when your partner shares intimate details or pours out their troubles to you early in the relationship.

This tactic might make you feel special, as if you’re the only one they can open up to.

It can create a deep emotional bond quickly, making you feel obliged to support and care for your partner.

However, this could be a calculated move by manipulators to make you emotionally invested in them early on.

They may use your empathy and compassion against you, making you feel guilty if you ever think about leaving them or setting boundaries.

While it’s important to support your partner emotionally, it’s just as crucial to ensure this support is reciprocal and not used as a tool for manipulation.

3) The silent treatment

The silent treatment is a common tactic manipulators use to exert control in a relationship.

Rather than addressing issues or disagreements openly, they choose to shut down communication completely.

This behavior can be incredibly frustrating as it leaves you in a state of uncertainty and suspense.

You may find yourself constantly trying to appease them or figure out what you did wrong.

Interestingly, our brains process social exclusion in the same way as physical pain.

This is why the silent treatment can feel so distressing – it’s not just an emotional response, but a physical one too.

It’s important to understand that the silent treatment is not a healthy communication method.

It’s a form of emotional abuse designed to make you feel powerless.

Open, respectful dialogue is essential in any relationship, and everyone deserves to be heard.

4) Playing the victim

When manipulators play the victim, it can be deeply confusing and emotionally draining.

They have a knack for turning situations around to make themselves appear as the wronged party, even when they’re clearly in the wrong.

If you’re on the receiving end of this, remember, it’s not your fault.

You’re not responsible for another person’s actions or their emotional well-being. It’s okay to feel sympathetic, but don’t get drawn into the guilt game.

What’s important is to hold on to your reality.

You know what happened and how it made you feel.

Trust yourself and your judgment. It’s okay to set boundaries and protect your emotional health.

You deserve respect and honesty in your relationships.

5) Constant criticism

We’ve all faced criticism at some point in our lives.

But when it’s constant and comes from a person you care about, it can really chip away at your self-esteem.

In manipulative relationships, the other person might continually put you down or find fault with you.

It could be about small, trivial things – like the way you dress or your cooking skills – or about more personal matters – like your personality traits or career choices.

This constant critique is not about helping you improve, but about making you feel small and insecure.

It’s a way for manipulators to make themselves feel superior and to control you.

Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. No one is perfect.

Constructive criticism should be about helping each other grow, not a tool for manipulation or control.

You are valuable and deserving of respect just as you are.

6) Twisting the truth

Manipulators are often skilled at bending the truth to suit their narrative. They can make black seem white and convince you that up is down.

For example, imagine a situation where your partner forgets your birthday.

When you express your disappointment, they turn the tables by saying they were too stressed with work and you’re being insensitive for not understanding their situation.

Suddenly, you’re the one feeling guilty for something that was initially their mistake.

This twisting of truth is a classic manipulation tactic to deflect blame and make you question your own feelings and reactions.

Remember, your feelings are valid.

It’s okay to express disappointment or hurt.

A healthy relationship involves acknowledging mistakes and working through them together, not avoiding responsibility and shifting blame.

7) Keeping score

In a manipulative relationship, you might find that past mistakes are never really forgotten.

They’re stored away, ready to be brought up whenever the manipulator needs to gain the upper hand.

This kind of score-keeping is toxic.

It prevents growth and fosters resentment.

A single mistake doesn’t define who you are or what you’re capable of.

Look, we all mess up from time to time – it’s part of being human.

But using past mistakes as ammunition in arguments is not fair or healthy.

A good relationship isn’t about winning or losing.

It’s about understanding, forgiveness, and moving forward together.

If you’re constantly being made to feel guilty over past errors, it might be time to reconsider if this is the kind of love you want and deserve.

Trust yourself

Navigating the complex world of relationships is a journey unique to each of us—and it’s a journey that requires self-awareness, understanding, and courage.

This article has shed light on the mind games manipulators might play in relationships.

However, ultimately, it’s up to you to use this understanding to foster healthier dynamics in your personal life.

Remember, investing time and energy in a relationship should amplify your happiness, not diminish it.

Being truly wise means recognizing manipulation when you see it, setting boundaries where necessary, and refusing to let anyone undermine your self-worth.

Here’s to cultivating relationships that nourish our lives, bring us joy, and help us grow as individuals. You’re worth it!