Hi there, Lachlan Brown here, founder of Hack Spirit and mindfulness enthusiast.

Let’s talk about something that’s always intrigued me: men who only pursue women who seem out of their league.

It’s a fascinating phenomenon that’s been studied quite a bit, and science has some interesting insights to offer.

So, let’s pull back the curtain on this intriguing aspect of dating dynamics.

Stick with me, and you’ll certainly learn something new today.

1) Overconfidence is key

Let’s dive right in. One of the most common traits found in men who chase after women out of their league is a healthy dose of overconfidence.

You see, these guys have an inflated sense of self-worth.

They believe they’re more attractive or desirable than they actually might be.

Now, you might be thinking, isn’t confidence a good thing?

Absolutely, but there’s a fine line between confidence and overconfidence.

Overconfidence can lead to unrealistic expectations and inevitable disappointments.

It’s not just about believing in oneself, but also about recognizing one’s own limitations and working within them.

Science backs this up, too.

A study published in Psychological Science found that people tend to overestimate their own attractiveness, leading them to pursue people who are ‘out of their league’.

And who better to illustrate this point than the renowned psychologist, Dr. Sigmund Freud.

He once said, “One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.”

2) They’re unafraid of rejection

Now, here’s something I’ve noticed firsthand.

Men who consistently pursue women who seem unattainable often display an unusual resilience to rejection.

A few years back, I had a friend named Jake.

Jake was a classic case of this.

He would always approach the most gorgeous, accomplished women at any gathering.

More often than not, he was turned down.

But here’s the thing – it never seemed to faze him.

Every rejection was water off a duck’s back to Jake.

Instead of being disheartened, he’d simply move on to the next woman he deemed ‘out of his league’.

It was as if each rejection fueled his desire to try again.

This trait is backed by science too.

A study found that people who regularly pursue highly desirable partners learn to cope with rejection and are less affected by it over time.

3) The thrill of the chase

Another interesting behavior I’ve observed in men who consistently aim high in their romantic pursuits is their love for the chase.

These men seem to find great satisfaction in the pursuit itself, more than the potential relationship at the end of it.

The challenge of ‘winning over’ a woman perceived to be out of their league seems to provide a sense of gratification and self-worth.

In fact, this love for the chase directly relates to a concept I discuss in my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego“.

The idea is that our ego often drives us to seek validation and approval from others, rather than finding contentment within ourselves.

This constant need for external validation might explain why these men are drawn towards women who are seemingly unattainable; obtaining their approval or affection can provide a massive ego boost.

4) They thrive on competition

Let’s get a bit more psychological. Men who consistently pursue women out of their league often exhibit a strong competitive streak.

They see love and relationships not just as a partnership, but as a game to be won.

This competitiveness isn’t necessarily about besting other men.

Rather, it’s about overcoming the challenge of winning over someone who is perceived to be ‘better’ or ‘higher up’ in some way.

According to a study, people who exhibit high competitive traits tend to be more attracted to individuals who are seen as more desirable by others.

This is because winning over such individuals is seen as a validation of their own worth.

5) They’re not always looking for a long-term commitment

Now, this one might come as a surprise.

You’d think men who are going after women out of their league would be in it for the long haul, right? Not necessarily.

Often, these men are more interested in the short-term thrill and ego boost that comes with dating someone perceived to be highly desirable.

The idea of a long-term commitment might not even factor into their pursuit.

People who pursue highly desirable partners often do so for the perceived increase in social status, rather than for lasting emotional connection.

As renowned psychologist Dr. Carl Jung once said, “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” 

6) They focus on physical attractiveness

Another behavior commonly seen in men who pursue women out of their league is an intense focus on physical attractiveness.

These men often prioritize looks over other qualities like personality, intelligence, or shared interests.

Men who pursue highly attractive women often overestimate the importance of physical attractiveness in potential partners.

This can lead to unbalanced relationships where other important aspects are neglected.

However, focusing solely on physical attractiveness can lead to superficial relationships that lack depth and true connection. 

True and lasting attraction goes far beyond physical appearance.

It’s about connecting on an emotional and intellectual level as well.

7) They’re often perfectionists

As psychologist Dr. Brené Brown wisely said, “Imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we’re all in this together.”

Recognizing and accepting imperfections in others and ourselves is key to building meaningful connections.

Perfectionism is another trait that often crops up in men who go after women out of their league.

They have an idealized image of the ‘perfect’ woman and strive to find her, often overlooking great potential partners along the way.

I remember a time when I too was caught in this perfectionist trap.

Always seeking the ‘perfect’ partner, I overlooked many wonderful women who were right in front of me.

It was only when I let go of my unrealistic expectations and started appreciating people for who they truly are that I found genuine happiness.

It’s about self-awareness

Beyond the psychological factors at play, there’s a deeper layer of self-awareness that can be explored.

In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego,” I delve into the concept of ego and how it shapes our behaviors and relationships.

For these men, challenging their ego might be the key to breaking this cycle.

By developing self-awareness and understanding their worth outside of romantic conquests, they can foster healthier relationships based on mutual respect and connection.