When it comes to relationships, the dynamics between partners can vary widely. Some men may excel in the role of a father while falling short as husbands. 

And in this article, we’ll uncover seven key behaviors often exhibited by men who fit this description.

From prioritizing their children’s well-being to struggling with intimacy in their romantic relationships, these nuanced signs shed light on the complex interplay between fatherhood and spousal dynamics. 

Without much further ado, let’s dive right in.

1) Emotional detachment

In the complex web of human relationships, emotional detachment often surfaces as a significant factor.

Especially when we’re talking about men who don’t make the best husbands but are exceptional fathers.

These men seem to maintain an emotional distance in their marital relationships.

You’ll often notice a lack of emotional intimacy or a reluctance to engage in deeper conversations.

However, this very trait takes a 180-degree turn when it comes to their fatherly role.

They’re fully invested emotionally, showing immense love, care, and concern for their children.

This emotional disconnect with their spouses and connect with their children is a distinctive behavior trait exhibited by such men.

2) Exemplary patience

Patience truly is a virtue, especially within the context of marriage where it often seems to be in short supply.

What’s fascinating is how some individuals, who may not excel in their roles as spouses, seem to have an endless reservoir of patience when it comes to their children.

In their marital dynamics, they might exhibit a tendency to snap easily, feel frustrated readily, or show impatience towards their partner’s imperfections.

Their tolerance levels in this arena appear quite low.

However, when it comes to their offspring, it’s a whole different story.

They exhibit remarkable patience, handling everything from toddler tantrums to teenage mood swings with a calm and composed demeanor.

This paradoxical behavior is intriguing yet not uncommon.

It’s almost as if they have a separate stash of patience reserved exclusively for their children.  

3) Inability to handle criticism

Criticism is a tough pill to swallow, especially when it comes from someone we love.

For these men, they often struggle with taking constructive criticism from their spouses.

They may get defensive or even dismissive when their partners point out areas for improvement.

This can create a rift in the relationship, making open communication challenging.

On the flip side, these men are usually much more receptive to feedback when it comes to their parenting skills.

They’re eager to improve and do better for their children.

This dichotomy is one I’ve seen play out time and time again. In fact, in my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve into some of the underlying causes for this behavior and offer strategies to overcome it.

But let’s not lose sight of what we’re discussing here.

This inability to handle criticism in their marital relationship, while being open to it as fathers, is another key behavior that sets these men apart. 

4) Excessive focus on work

 

Work-life balance. A term we’ve all heard but often struggle to achieve.

For these men, their work often takes precedence over their marital relationship.

They might be absent for important moments or milestones in their partner’s life due to work commitments.

This excessive focus on work can make their spouses feel neglected and undervalued.

However, when it comes to their children, they somehow find the time.

They show up for school plays, soccer games, parent-teacher meetings – you name it.

Their dedication as fathers is admirable, despite their demanding work schedules.

It reminds me of a quote by the legendary John Lennon who once said, “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”

Indeed, the importance of being present in our loved ones’ lives cannot be overstated.

5) Limited communication

Communication, often hailed as the cornerstone of any thriving relationship, appears to take a backseat in their marital dynamics.

These men may offer terse responses or shy away from meaningful exchanges with their spouses.

However, a remarkable shift occurs when they interact with their children.

Here, they willingly delve into deep, enriching conversations, sharing insights and providing solace whenever necessary.

This disparity in communication styles can be incredibly frustrating for their partners.

I’ve personally observed this phenomenon in numerous counseling sessions, and it poses a significant challenge to address.

6) Resistance to change

Change is the only constant in life, but for these men, resistance to change is often a common trait in their marital lives.

They might resist changes suggested by their spouses, be it regarding routines, habits, or lifestyle.

Yet, when it comes to their children, they are often more open and adaptable.

They willingly adjust their schedules and routines to accommodate their children’s needs.

This resistance to change in their marital lives often causes friction and dissatisfaction.

I’ve seen this trait in action many times over the years, and it’s a challenging one to navigate.

As the American author, Maya Angelou once wisely said, “We delight in the beauty of the butterfly but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.”

Embracing change is indeed a journey with its own set of challenges.

This characteristic of resisting change yet being adaptable as fathers is another piece of our behavioral puzzle.

As we continue this exploration, don’t forget to follow me on Facebook for more relationship insights and articles right in your feed. Let’s press on with our final point.

7) Lack of romantic effort

Romance and effort go hand in hand in a marital relationship.

However, for these men, there seems to be a lack of effort to keep the spark alive in their marriages.

They might overlook significant dates, skip romantic gestures, or even neglect their partner’s needs for emotional intimacy.

This lack of romantic effort can leave their spouses feeling unloved and ignored.

On the other hand, they are completely plugged into their roles as fathers.

They put in a tremendous amount of effort to create memorable moments for their children and support them wholeheartedly.

This raw reality is often a tough pill to swallow. The contrast between their roles as husbands and fathers couldn’t be more stark.

This behavior, while harsh, is another defining characteristic of these men.

Never settle for less

Hey ladies, here’s a piece of advice for navigating relationships with men who might excel in one role but falter in another. 

If you’re seeing signs that he might not be husband material but could be a fantastic father, it’s important to trust your instincts.

Communication is key here. Have an open and honest conversation about your expectations, concerns, and what you envision for your future together. 

Remember, being a great dad is commendable, but it’s not the only aspect of a fulfilling partnership.

Don’t compromise your own happiness and well-being for the sake of potential fatherly qualities.

Keep your eyes open for red flags and be prepared to set boundaries if needed. 

Ultimately, prioritize your own needs and happiness.

You deserve a partner who can fulfill both roles to the best of their ability.

Trust that the right person will come along, someone who excels in all aspects of partnership and parenthood. 

In the realm of relationships and personal growth, there’s always more to explore and learn.

Here’s a video that I found particularly insightful.

In this video, Justin Brown shares his thoughts on the complexities of finding a compatible life partner.

He discusses shared values, mutual support, and personal growth within relationships. I believe it complements our discussion beautifully.