Ever met someone who seems to be very confident but after getting to know them a bit better, you realize that there may be something more under the surface?

Under their confident exterior lies an individual who has self-esteem issues. They attempt to put up a brave front to hide this side of themselves for others to perceive them more positively.

While this can happen to anyone, today we’ll focus on how men, in particular, behave when they’re trying to show that they’re confident despite their lack of self-esteem. 

1) Fishing for compliments

People who lack self-esteem don’t have a positive impression of themselves and are always searching for the approval of others.

They base their identity on what others think of them, which is why you will find that men who seem confident but lack self-esteem, will always find ways to receive compliments.

And this can go two ways.

They will either humble brag by downplaying an achievement that they’re (quite obviously) proud of, or only focus on their strengths in hopes of impressing someone so that they’d shower them with praise.

While they may try to hide it, their attempts to fish for compliments subtly will become increasingly obvious, especially to those who interact with them regularly.

This could stem from a deep-seated insecurity where they need constant validation from others, as this forms their identity.

2) Avoid conflict

A truly confident person knows how to navigate conflicts well because their self-esteem is strong enough to not take things personally even if the other party starts resorting to personal attacks to get their point across.

However, for those who are only pretending to be confident – they’d avoid conflict at all cost.

In fact, they may even become more willing to go along with whatever the other person is saying, despite disagreeing with it.

And men who have low self-esteem are aware that they will not be able to hold their ground when it comes to conflicts. Despite appearing confident, they know that this facade will crumble when they’re in a very tense situation.

They may lose their cool, get emotional, and essentially lose control over their actions or words – which is the opposite of the image they’re trying to portray. 

Hence their preferred option would be to avoid this at all costs.

3) Excessive bragging

Seemingly confident (or overconfident) people may also brag excessively to hide their shortcomings or flaws.

Men are more likely to have big egos and may go around playing up their achievements and strengths – sometimes to the point of being insufferable. 

However, this could be an attempt to mask their lack of self-esteem. They overcompensate with arrogance and project an air of superiority, as a defense mechanism to avoid being perceived as less.

By hiding their perceived inadequacies, these men are able to portray a false image of confidence, although this can become more apparent if they talk to people who are more perceptive.

They can peel back the layers of false confidence and see them for who they really are, of which men with low self-esteem may try to avoid interacting with.

4) Avoiding vulnerability

These men will also try to resist vulnerability and avoid overly personal conversations about themselves, for fear of revealing too much.

The last thing men with low self-esteem want is for people to see them for who they are: someone with flaws that they may want to hide, or someone who isn’t really as confident as they make themselves out to be.

They believe that doing this could diminish the perceived confidence in the eyes of others. 

By opening up to people, it exposes them not only to scrutiny, but comments from others, which could potentially impact their overall self-esteem. 

5) Constantly comparing himself to others

Another habit men with self-esteem issues have, is that they constantly compare themselves to others.

They may seem confident at the outset, but this facade hides their insecurity that whatever they do will never be good enough. 

Their identity is based on what others think of them, and they measure their worth or success based on the achievements of others.

They may have a decent quality of life, but they are never satisfied, because as compared to the people around them, they just aren’t doing well enough.

People on social media may seem to be doing better with flashier cars, more luxurious holidays, better physiques, or more attractive partners.

While these men may insist or appear as if the lives of others don’t affect them by maintaining a posture of confidence, their lack of self-esteem will show through the things they say.

They may make passing remarks about a friend that are seemingly innocent, but if you read between the lines – it’s not difficult to pick up their jealous undertones.

6) Obsession with sticking to the latest trends

Men who lack self-esteem may also have an obsession with sticking to the latest trends. They don’t want to be left behind or be made fun of, instead, they want to stay abreast of trends and even, be at the forefront of these.

It could be wearing the latest fashion, listening to the trendiest songs, or owning the latest tech gadgets.

Rather than going along with their individual preferences and style, they’d rather adhere to what everyone thinks is in fashion.

Their facade of confidence crumbles together with their inability to stay true to who they are. 

This may even influence their thoughts and behaviors – even if these contradict their principles, they are willing to go with the flow.

Ultimately, they may even lose sense of who they are.

While maintaining a posture of confidence may work for a little while, over time, it will get challenging for these men to keep up with appearances to hide their lack of self-esteem.

Concluding thoughts

Again, the struggle with self-esteem is something that anyone can face. By better understanding the behaviors of men who lack self-esteem but pretend to be confident, it can provide a pathway for support and encouragement.

If you’re someone who’s navigating these issues, remember that the journey towards growing your confidence and self-worth is to properly address the root of low self-esteem. From there, it’d be much easier to progress in your journey towards finding yourself.

Continuing from the insightful exploration of the behaviors exhibited by men who may outwardly appear confident but internally struggle with self-esteem issues, it’s crucial to emphasize the importance of personal growth and self-acceptance. In this journey of self-discovery and improvement, consuming content that challenges our perspectives and encourages introspection can be incredibly beneficial.

One such recommendation is to watch Justin Brown’s video discussions, particularly on topics such as whether it’s worth staying single or not. Brown’s content is known for its depth, providing viewers with thoughtful insights into personal development, relationships, and the quest for self-understanding.

In the context of our discussion on self-esteem and confidence, Brown’s exploration of the value of singleness can offer a fresh perspective on the importance of being comfortable in one’s own company and the significance of personal growth before seeking fulfillment in others. This ties back to the idea that addressing the root of low self-esteem is crucial before one can truly progress on their journey towards finding themselves.